At The Bottom Of Everything
by ShnabbyTheMouse
Summary: Bella was kicked out of her home and into the world all alone at the age of twelve. Now, two years later, she can hardly remember a life without constant abuse and neglect. Can being Fostered by the Cullen's possibly help mend such a broken being?AH, Lang
1. For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

I stared ahead as I wandered the streets, not really looking at anything. I looked down at my watch, 9:30. I better get back to James and Victoria's apartment, I refused to call it home, and make sure the place was in tip-top shape before they got home from their banquet. I hate it here, I would rather be back in Juvie. I clenched my fist at remembering those days.

I'm Bella, well, I'm technically Bella _Swan_, but after I was shipped off and abandoned, I threw my last name out the door. When I was only twelve years old, my mother and father shipped me off to the CHINS program, which is basically where your parents can send you into jail because you are too hard to handle.

Of course, you have to pay for it too, and Renee and Charlie didn't like that after a few months. So they put me up for adoption, where I had been shipped around from foster home to foster home to be beaten until I'm too boring and ship me off somewhere new. There had also been a trial somewhere in there, but I don't really remember how they had gotten the judge to declare me applicable for the program.

I am now fourteen, and need to get to the house soon. I ran the rest of the way, only to find that they left a message saying they wouldn't be here until midnight, the place better be clean, and I must be out of sight once they arrive. There wasn't much to clean, considering I left this place an hour after they did.

I hate it here.

After making sure every square inch of the house was spotless, I decided to read. I picked up _Fight Club_ and opened it up to where I had left off. I liked to read the dark books, they showed me my life could be worse. For instance, I could have a split personality that was destroying the world while I slept. Sleep, ha. I haven't slept since I was kicked out by my 'parents'.

I hate it here.

I finished the book at 11:17, and decided to take a shower. I turned the water on and let it heat up as I undressed. Once the water was warm, almost hot, I stepped in. I let the soothing water cascade down my back while I poured some strawberry shampoo into my hand and massaged it into my scalp. I didn't think of anything, _this_ was my time to just not think, to relax. My body ran through the motions of getting me clean while I just let my mind think of nothing.

After I had spent about fifteen minutes I shut the water off and stepped out to dry off and get dressed. I grabbed my clothes and put them in my hamper in my room. It's better than some rooms I've had, but that's only for appearance. What in the world would people think if they saw that the mayor of Seattle's foster brat's room was a cot on the floor in the basement?

That's the only reason I'm here, to make them look good. 'Oh did you hear? Mayor Ambulo and his darling wife adopted a little girl, their such great people.' I wonder what those people would think if they ever actually saw what happened in this house.

'Oh my, didn't you hear? Mayor Ambulo and his horrid wife beat their foster child, beat her senseless, break her bones and leave her in the middle of the floor for days.' Of course, they'd find a way to cover it up, they have their sources.

I hate it here.

I sat on my bed and stared at the wall, trying to not think of anything, just sit there. I miss it, sleeping I mean. With insomnia, nothing is real. Your never really awake, and your never really asleep. Your stuck in a constant of being half-conscious.

I heard the front door open and two laughing people enter the house before it slammed shut, I quickly turned the light off and got under the covers to fake sleep. I heard my door open before it shut again. I chanced a peek to see if anyone had come in, they hadn't. I didn't want them to know I was awake, when their drunk, or angry, they tend to get an even sicker sense of amusement.

I heard them enter their room and sighed, they wouldn't be leaving that room until at least noon tomorrow, which gave me a ton of time to clean their mess and leave. I spent my night the way I usually did. Listening to music, tonight I chose my absolute favorite band, Desolated. The two singers we're basically my idols. Alice was the lead singer, but not the only one. Where as Rose played the guitar and was a little more than a back up singer, in most songs, they would sing the chorus together and their voices fit together beautifully.

They were also sisters, though Rose was adopted into their family at the age of eight, they acted like sisters. I laid on the bed and sung softly along with the lyrics until about three A.M. when I decided to get on the internet. It may sound a bit obsessive, but I check Desolated's website every time I get the chance, so after I checked my E-mail, Myspace, and Facebook, I went to their site to see if they had any new updates.

'Do _you_ want to meet Rose and Alice? Make a video of you playing one of your own originals and whichever audition they find best will win a day out and about with your two favorite girls, Rose and Alice.' Said the newest update on their site. I looked at my guitar, I had been able to attain it after Renee and Charlie threw me away. How amazing would it be to spend an entire day with my idols? Why not give it a shot, even though I won't win, it's not like I don't have any free time.

I decided I would bring my guitar with me tomorrow to the park along with my digital camera, also which I had gotten back from Renee and Charlie. I decided to go ahead and print out the rules for the contest. When I was done, it was four A.M. I decided to try and get as much sleep as I could. I slipped under the covers and laid their for a while, random thoughts popping into my head, keeping me awake, as usual. I finally drifted off to sleep at about five o'clock only to wake up on my own accord an hour later. Damn mental alarm clock. I got out of bed and went downstairs to check out the damage, the only mess made was a spill in the kitchen and a few dishes in the sink. I cleaned the spill but decided to leave the dishes until after I finished making their breakfast. I stirred in the ingredients for pancakes quickly, putting the wet ingredients first instead of the dry, just to spite them. Yeah, I know, I'm so fucking bad.

I hate it here.

I made a good amount of pancakes and set them on a plate, before putting them in the microwave to keep warm until they woke up. I did the dishes, scrubbing all of the dried pancake off of the pan and making sure every dish was perfect. I then decided to get ready, I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a striped, blue short-sleeved shirt, and my kicks. I then went on to wash my face and put just enough make-up on to cover the fading bruise on my cheek. I decided my hair was impossible, so just put it up in a pony-tail and put my black, knit cabbie hat on over it.

I put the rules, wallet, camera, and guitar in my guitar case before scribbling a quick note to James and Victoria telling them where their food was before heading out of their huge apartment and out of the complex. I took a cab to Books-A-Million, I needed to pick up a book I would need for history.

Oh yeah, I home-school myself, though the public thinks that the wonderful Mrs. Ambulo is the one doing the teaching. Insert scoff here, commence eye roll now. Whatever, I'm used to having my work stolen. I quickly paid for the book, before heading over to the café that was in the store. I got myself a caramel macchiato and blue-berry muffin, I used my money, wouldn't dare even think about using James' money, never.

I hate it here.

I worked as a waitress at a little pizza shop a block down from the apartment five days out of the week, from three-six. I use the money to pay my phone bill and get me food. I wasn't allowed to eat their's. After enjoying my breakfast, I bought a bottled water and caught another cab to the park, I knew a place not too far into the woods that would be the perfect place to make my audition, playing my song _Nineteen Stars. _I had written it shortly after I got out of the hospital, within my first week staying at the Ambulo's.

I paid the driver and grabbed my guitar case and water bottle before heading out to my little meadow. I read over the rules quickly the only important information on their that the cut-off was October 15th, two weeks from now, and the winner would be chosen the

First.

I practiced with the tabs of the song for about twenty minutes before I decided I had it perfected. I set the camera on my guitar case and sat in the grass in front of it before turning it on. I did the required introduction.

"Hello Rose and Alice, my name is Bella _Swan_." I had to push the name out of my mouth. "I am fourteen years old and live in Seattle, Washington. I will be playing my song, Nineteen stars. Here we go." I breathed the last part before starting the song.

_Don't tell me you're done for  
Don't need to hear you're done for  
But you can tell me what you are running from  
I need you more than you need you  
I can see you're really really running_

The song was mildly difficult to play, not physically, but emotionally. It was hard reliving that night.

_Stay awake, stay awake  
__Survive__  
I've got nineteen stars that I  
Give your name tonight_

I finished the song and forced a smile at the camera "Thank you." Was all I said before turning the Camera off and packing my guitar up. I watched the video and it seemed to be about as good as it would get, so I packed it up also. I looked at my phone, it was already two o'clock, I needed to leave if I wanted to make it to work on time, luckily for me, I had remembered to bring my work clothes.

I got to work about five minutes early which gave me enough time to change before clocking in. I said a quick "hello" to Jake before stashing my stuff in the back. Work, as always, passed by quickly and I soon found myself walking back to the apartment. As soon as I walked in the door, I went straight to my room to put my guitar up.

"Isabella! My dinner is not made." James roared. My eye's widened, I had forgotten he would be home early this week, therefore requiring me find some way to fix his dinner. I ran out of my room as fast as I could and into the kitchen, but I was stopped in the living room by James.

"Shouldn't you know by now that dinner should be ready when I get home?" He yelled in my face, I didn't dare answer him, that would be a bad idea. He slapped me in the face hard, causing me to crumble to the ground. Show no emotion, fake indifference.

I hate it here.

He started to kick me chanting over and over again "You dirty little whore!". The tears were staining my cheeks reluctantly now as I was curled in a ball. He picked me up by my hair, causing me to yelp in pain, he smiled wickedly at this. He dropped me back on the floor and with one last kick to my side, went to sit on the couch.

"Now, get my food ready, bitch." He ordered me with a satisfied tone. I forced myself up off the floor and limped to the kitchen to make him some spaghetti. My side was killing me, making it very difficult to breathe. My eyes were getting harder and harder to keep open, but I knew I had to stay awake, considering it could be a concussion. I questioned myself why I cared. I wish I didn't have to be here anymore, I wish I didn't have to be on this planet anymore. I wish I could just cease to exist.

I hate it here.

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**AN: What'd ya think? Like it? Hate it? Wish I would die for writing this unstead of updating American Living? Yeah, sorry to tell you guys, but American Living is on Hiatus for the time being. ****Back to the story, the song in here is 'Nineteen Stars' by Meg & Dia, and the quote "With Insomnia, nothing is real." Is from Fight Club. Just a warning, this story _will _have swearing, sexual themes, drug abuse, traumatic events, yada, yada, yada. I've had this idea in my head for quite a while, because when I'm laying in bed, trying to sleep, these kind of situations form themselves in my head. This is probably the main reason behind my insomnia. Remember the song, it will have meaning later on in the story. Please Review!**


	2. You're Cute When You Scream

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it...yet.**

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Ages:

Carlisle: 36  
Esme: 37  
Emmett: 17  
Rosalie: 17-adopted  
Jasper: 17-adopted  
Alice: 16  
Edward: 15

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(BPOV)

It was now October 31st, eleven A.M. I was doing school work, over the past year I've lived here, I have managed to get myself quite a good bit ahead in my studies, putting me in tenth grade instead of ninth. I was currently stuck on an Algebra 2 problem, I may be good at most schooling, but math was not my strong point. I was stuck here alone with Victoria until at least two, when she would be going to dinner with James and the Governor of Washington. I skipped the problem, deciding I'd ask this guy at work that helps me when I have a problem in school, Jacob

Jacob was the manager at the pizza shop I worked at and had given me the job because he had been a foster kid himself, and said he knew how hard it got. He and I were about as close as I would let anyone come, which wasn't very close at all, but still. I guess he would technically be my 'best friend'.

I had finished all of my subjects for the day by twelve, leaving me half an hour to actually relax. I picked the book up that I borrowed yesterday from the library, Can't Get There From Here. I had managed to get to the halfway mark when Victoria called to me telling me they'd be back around eleven, and the place will be spotless by the time they get home.

I quickly cleaned the place before getting dressed and ready for work, considering by the time I got done with cleaning it was already two. I left the house at 2:33, bringing my laptop in my messenger bag along with my math book and pencil. I arrived at work fifteen minutes early, Jake was supposed to get off when I clocked in, but had promised to help me with my math problem.

We spent only about seven minutes on the problem before I finally got it and let him go. I clocked myself in, waiting for another boring day at work to be over with.

I had yet another un-eventful day at work and discovered that the time passed rather quickly. I soon found myself laying in bed, listening to music, wishing that just once I could get a full night's worth of sleep.

After finally falling asleep at 5:32, I had an amazing dream where I was still at home, playing guitar as my parents watched with a huge smile on their face. I remembered when this happened, it was right before summer break, about two weeks before things took a turn for the worst. I awoke at around six as usual, though today I felt anxious, in the excited kind of way. Today was the day they announced the winner of the Desolated contest. I forced myself to clean and make breakfast before checking their website. I don't know why I was so excited, maybe the world just wanted a good laugh, because if, no when I didn't win, my heart would be crushed, my hopes shattered.

I just wanted one thing in my life to go right. Just one good thing to happen to me, I could be tortured and beaten, but I can't seem to ever catch a break, never have things go my way just once. I pulled the site up and took a deep breath before looking to see who the winner was.

_Congratulations Lauren Mallory, you are our lucky winner! Please call the number we have E-mailed to your address to get the details._

I don't know why it hurt so bad, why I let my hopes get so high. Shit, why am I always doing that? I'll walk into a new home, and have at least a shred of hope that, maybe, this place will be different. The first few days go by, and with each moment that I'm not being made miserable, my hopes get higher and higher, then he comes home from a bad day at work, and I cave into myself, and want to just kick myself in the head for thinking that thought of _'Maybe, maybe this one will be my new home.'_

Whatever, right? Put on your face, fake indifference and go on with your day pretending life isn't a nightmare. Sit back, close your eyes, and let all the ignorant people of the world think there's no place else you'd rather be.

-Time Lapse-

It had been a month since I'd gotten the news that I was not the winner. I scoffed mentally at the fact that I actually thought I was going to win.

I had just finished making dinner when a very angry James burst through the front door. This was not good. I set the food on the table before trying to make my escape. But my attempts were to no avail. James caught me by my wrist and threw me on the ground right as I was half-way up the staircase.

"Did you tell someone at the center? What, can't take a little punishment and had to run off and tell some social worker?" James yelled at me while I was on the floor. I could tell he was actually waiting on an answer.

"No sir! I swear, I would never do something like that." I told him with a desperate tone to my voice. I'm not stupid, I know better than to tell someone about my home life. He wouldn't believe me, so, really, trying to convince him otherwise was a complete and utter waste of energy that could be spent on keeping myself quiet during the beating that was sure to ensue.

He laughed a humorless laugh before kicking me hard in the side, I stifled a yelp of pain, but I knew he had heard the beginnings of it. This only encouraged him. He picked me up by the hair and slapped me hard across the face. His laugh turned into one of pure enjoyment, like a little kid playing tag with a bunch of friends. I fell to the floor, he kicked me one more time in the ribs, kicking me as hard as he could, and I heard something snap.

"Get up, you lazy whore. And clean yourself up, your getting shipped to some shit-hole tomorrow. I don't want one bit of evidence that you ever existed in this house when you leave." He said, sitting down at the table and picking up a fork. I pushed myself off the floor, gasping in pain once I finally stood up. Of course, they wouldn't understand that I had been here for nearly a year, and that that was probably the reason for my moving. That is just too much for their little brains to comprehend. Unfortunately, as soon as I got up, Victoria walked in.

"Where is she?" She shouted as soon as the door closed. These apartments were the good kind, the kind that had a foot of cement separating each room, making it completely sound-proof. As soon as she saw me, and saw that James had already taken care of me, she smiled, but kind of like she had an idea.

She went into the kitchen to the drawer that kept the knives. My eye's widened once I realized where she was headed and I tried to leave, but James had stood up and was taking my shirt off while holding my back towards where Victoria was.

"Well dear, if you will be leaving us, we want you to have something to remember us by." Victoria said in a sickly-sweet voice. I then felt a sharp stinging in my back where she carved random crescents into my lower back. I shouted in agony, after about five marks, James pulled me into his bathroom, Victoria following with an evil grin on her face. He pulled me into his closet and over to the ironing board. I started struggling against him when I saw the scalding hot iron, but with the broken rib and cuts on my back, it was nearly impossible. James turned me around again, both of them laughing like a kid on fucking Christmas.

"Don't worry sweetie, this will be fun." James whispered in my ear in what I'm sure he hoped was a sexy tone, licking my ear. I just sucked in my sob, praying I would wake up, still lying in my bed at _home_ and realize it was all a dream. I felt the iron touch my back and tried to arch away from the pain. I screamed as Victoria pressed it harder against my back before removing it. At least they had the decency to carry me to my room.

I laid on my stomach, a pillow under my head to muffle the screams and sobs of raging pain. I kept telling myself it wasn't that bad. Buck up, and stop crying. I've crawled away from worse than this. Of course, this started an onset of flashbacks, that I kept trying to shove from my head. It wasn't working. Flashes of clearly drunk men staring at me from across a basement, pictures of blood covering the bathroom floor as I pleaded to God to please just help me, just once. I could feel the pulse from my stomach move the bed ever so slightly, and I hated that the world had pushed me so fucking low, that my heart just couldn't stand to reside as high as my chest anymore.

After a while, I felt the numbness take over. My head not even filled with thoughts anymore, just a shit pile of abasement filling my skull. At least the physical pain wouldn't exist anymore. After packing a majority of my stuff, leaving only the necessities I would need for tonight, I went to take a shower before patching up my fresh wounds.

I looked down at my ribs after stepping out of the shower, horrible bruises were already appearing, and one bone was sticking out slightly. I just looked at it in morbid curiousity for a while before dressing it with gauze and getting dressed. I brought my bathroom supplies except for my toothbrush, make-up, and brush back into my room and threw them in my bag. I packed my laptop I had saved up for, for quite a few months. That reminded me, I needed to call the pizza place up and tell them the news. Jake knew how short-noticed my leave could be.

After calling up my ex-job, I laid in bed and looked up at the ceiling until the sun rose, at which point I forced myself up and got ready, putting all of my supplies I had used in my bag and making sure I had all of my school books. I didn't worry about making their breakfast, and went to the fridge, opening all of their beverages and spitting in each and every one. I scanned the entire apartment for anything I might of missed, I then put both of my bags, my messenger bag, and guitar case in front of my bed for when the social-worker arrived.

Mrs. Harks arrived at around nine in all of her five foot eleven, 180 pound glory. Of course, Victoria faked a sad goodbye and even managed to squeeze out a tear and James pretended to comfort her. He offered to carry my bags and since there was no way in hell I could carry down all four, I let him carry my two bags that only had clothes and books in them, so he couldn't break anything. Once we reached the car and we put my bags in the back, James tried to give me a hug, instead earning him a nice, hard knee in the groin. When he doubled over couching and groaning in pain, a tear sliding down his cheek. "God I wish you could cry, James." I ridiculed him with a harsh laugh. Yeah, I was taking full advantage of the fact that he couldn't do jack shit to me. He glared at me, and his hand twitched.

He was just jonesing to take the smug look off of my face.

But he _couldn't. _Mrs. Harks yelled at me to get in the car, and ranted about how ungrateful I was and I really just wanted to tell her to change her tampon and shut the fuck up, but if I had learned anything, it was that you _don't_ piss off your social worker. She didn't talk to me the entire two hour drive to the next monsters house, to which I was completely fine with. I just watched the scenery get greener and greener before we finally pulled onto an un-marked road. It turned out to be a drive-way to a huge house that looked to be from the 18th century. She grabbed one of my bags, and walked up the sidewalk, me following at I'm sure was an agonizingly slow pace. She stood on the front porch, looking at me expectantly, and tapping her foot impatiently.

When I was finally standing next to her, she knocked on the door and I waited behind her, a beautiful woman with caramel hair and remarkable green eyes answered the door with a wide grin plastered on her face.

"Oh, you must be Mrs. Harks, which means that this is Isabella." She said warmly, she almost seemed nice, but I knew better than to trust that first judgment, I wasn't going into this one with high hopes, not this time, nope.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen. Do you mind if we come in? I have some things to discuss with you and your husband." Mrs. Harks questioned.

"Oh, of course. Follow me." She said, stepping out of the way to let us in before showing us to the living room. A handsome man with blonde hair and grey eyes walked in with a warm smile on his face. Just like the woman, he seemed nice, but also like the woman, I didn't trust him.

"Hello Dr. Cullen, I'm Janice and this is Isabella." She introduced us, shaking his hand before gesturing to me. He also tried to shake my hand but I shied away from him, I wasn't a major fan of skin contact. He retreated his hand, and smiled at me.

They started with the meeting. "Okay Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, I know this is your first time fostering a child, so I would like to go over some basics with you." I zoned out after that, looking around their living room which had it's southern wall made completely out of glass. The room was decorated wonderfully, everything accenting each other. You know, color coordination and all that shit. Huge television, huge paintings, plush couch. All in all, these people were loaded. I tuned back in near the end of their conversation. "And if you have any problems with her or she just isn't working out, call me up and we'll find somewhere else to place her." She told the newbie Foster parents.

It made me feel like an object, not even a human, something you can just get your refund on after you realize it's not the toy you were looking for. I was used to it.

"Goodbye Mrs. Cullen and Dr. Cullen." She said warmly. "Isabella." She said not so warmly. I just nodded at her before she left.

"Hello Isabella, I'm Esme." 'Esme', said.

"It's Bella." I corrected, rather coldly. My posture was stiff. I was far from comfortable at the moment. I wanted to run away screaming and yelling, go hide in the woods where I never have to worry about what expression I'm wearing. Instead, I put on my blank face. She smiled.

"Bella then. And this," She said, pointing to her husband. "Is Carlisle. The rest of the family will be home by five, they all went out for the afternoon. I'll show you to your room so you can get moved in." She offered sweetly, to which I shrugged. Carlisle grabbed my two bags while I grabbed my messenger bag and guitar case. They lead me to a room on the third floor and Carlisle put my bags gently down at the foot of my bed.

"We'll leave you alone to unpack." Carlisle said gently before wrapping his arm around Esme's waist and walking out the door, shutting the door gently. I didn't unpack. I never unpack. I leave my clothes in the suitcase, therefore, when I am moved to another home, I don't have to go around, folding up all of my clothes and all of that jazz. I did, however, slide my guitar case under the bed. I then set my laptop up on the desk that was in the room. A part of me questioned why I had such a nice room, but then I remembered that Carlisle was a doctor, maybe he was a very well-known doctor or in a high position or something. Either way, I knew this was just for the public eye.

I also remembered that Esme said the _rest_ of the family, I've lived in a home where they had kids. In that, this, kind of home, it's usually worse. Not only do the parent's hit and kick you, but the kids and their friends knock you around too. I laid on the bed, I wanted so badly to sleep, I was exhausted, but I couldn't get my mind to shut-up and leave me in peace, so I opted for closing my eyes.

I opened my eyes when I heard a knock on my door, and rose a brow at the lack of unannounced intrusion that I had gotten used to. I raised myself up from the comfortable bed and walked to the door, opening it to find Esme smiling at me calmly.

"Hey Bella, sorry if I woke you, but the kids just arrived and they want to meet you." Translation: Hey kid, stop being lazy, my little darlings want to meet their new punching bag. I nodded my head and followed her down the stairs.

"We have two of our kids with us that are only here every now and then, they work together." Esme said as we were walking down the last flight of stairs and into the living room. I looked at the five children and couldn't believe my eyes. This had to be some kind of delusion, right? My two idols could not be standing right in front of me, could they?

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**AN: ****AN: Dun, dun, duh, that's what? A cliffie? Yeah, have fun with that. :]. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews. A bit of topic, but you wanna know something I hate? When authors are all 'I only got ten reviews last chapter, you wont get a new one until I get at least thirty', I mean seriously, get over yourselves already. Stephenie Meyer doesn't go out and say 'Alright, I only sold 12 million copies of New Moon, You'll get Breaking Dawn when I sell 30 million copies of Eclipse.' Anywho, yeah, in this story,as Bella clearly states quite a few times, the Cullens are all just slightly naive. Anyways, please review! Reviews are to me like Bella's virtue is to Edward.  
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	3. We Are Broken

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or anything to do with it, fool.**

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(BPOV)

I stood there completely confused. Rose and Alice were nice people, and that usually meant that they were raised right. But we're talking about foster parents here, I haven't been to one home where I wasn't beaten or sometimes even worse. Might this family be different? I subtly grabbed my right hand with my left to keep me from punching myself in the head for trying to let my hopes rise again. I wasn't putting my guard down yet, even if the two most amazing people on the planet were raised by them. I looked at them, I noticed that their eyes were slightly wider also, though I didn't know why.

"Bella, this is Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, and Edward." Esme introduced, pointing out each one. Emmett was huge and could, would, cause me some serious damage. Jasper was built too, but not as much as Emmett. I cringed at the thought of them wanting a rag-doll to throw between each other. Edward had to be the most beautiful boy I had ever seen, but I knew from experience that the good looking ones were usually the worst. I looked at them all warily, watching each movement intently.

When Emmett walked over to me swiftly and picked me up into a strong hug, I was sure that there was no controlling the horrified scream that was creeping up my throat, though I managed to keep it silent. Of course, he had chosen to squeeze me on my broken rib, and I let out a kind of strangled sound, that I was hoping no one had heard. Show no weakness, right? I went completely rigid, not only in immense pain, but entirely uncomfortable, but I composed my face before anyone could see how much pain I was in. He set me down gently.

"What's up, little sis?" He asked, he sounded like a little kid, which made me immediately step back from him, I had to wonder if he had somehow found out about my wound and wanted to see me scream. There was an insanely awkward silence, which Esme fixed by speaking up.

"So Bella, what do you want for dinner?" I looked at her suspiciously, not really sure if she was playing at something or not.

"Um, anything's fine." I whispered, not really sure of what to say. Esme just smiled warmly.

"Okay, how does chicken alfredo sound then?" She asked. I nodded in response, wondering idly when their real characters would shine through.

After Esme and Carlisle went into the kitchen to start on dinner, I just stood there stiffly, watching the three boys cautiously. That was, before Alice hopped over to me.

"You entered our contest last month, didn't you? Your Bella Swan." She said, a huge smile on her face. I was hoping she wouldn't remember my audition tape, but that wouldn't be very fun, now would it?

"Er, yes, that was me." I said, scratching behind my ear and hoping she would just drop it.

"Oh my god! You were so good, your song held so much emotion. We were going to pick you, but that Lauren chick bribed our manger into her winning." She said rolling her eyes. "Her voice was scratchy and horrible, she was completely off key, and her song was called 'I'm too good for you.' It was the completely horrid." She finished. I didn't know if she was being nice or telling the truth. I shrugged and put a small smile on.

"Thanks." Was all I whispered. She pulled me into a hug, but this one didn't hurt, and for that I was grateful, though I was still immensely uncomfortable with the skin contact. I went back to watching the boys, I didn't trust either of them, not one bit. Alice skipped over to Jasper and gave him a peck on the cheek before sitting on the love seat with him. Rose, Emmett, and Edward were sitting on the couch, watching _Scrubs_ on the television. I sat in the chair, scooting to the side that was farthest away from the couch, where Edward was sitting, and pretended to watch the show, my mind really a million miles away.

Esme came in thirty minutes later saying that dinner was ready for us to come and eat. I waited for everyone to exit the room before heading out myself. Unfortunately, that seems like the only kind of fortune I have, the only empty seat was in between Emmett and Jasper. I quickly made my way over to the seat and sat down, everyone started eating, I sat there awkwardly, stabbing my fork into the food repeatedly.

"You can eat, sweetie." Esme told me, gesturing towards my food. I picked my fork up, my eye's never leaving her face as I took a small bite, she gave me a wide smile. I used my fork to push the food on my plate around, only taking a bite when Esme or Carlisle looked in my direction. My stomach was churning with nerves, and I really didn't want to eat.

"So, Bells" I cringed at the nick-name, it was one I'd heard many a time, always under bad circumstances. "How old are you?" Jasper inquired conversationally.

"Fourteen." I told him, looking at my food, which I'm sure would be good, if I could force down the vomit that sitting at the top of my throat.

"How long have you been in foster care?" Edward asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Two years." I replied, keeping my answers short. I wanted the limelight off of myself.

"Why are you in foster care?" Emmett interrogated before getting slapped in the back of the head by Rose.

"That's a bit personal, don't you think?" Rose asked Emmett like he was an idiot.

"My parent's didn't want me anymore, so they put me in the CHINS program." I shrugged, like it was nothing, though on the inside my already shredded heart felt like it was being torn all over again.

"What's CHINS?" Jasper questioned I sighed silently, because this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to spend my night telling these people about how I was unwanted, sure.

"It's a program where parent's can throw their kids in juvie if they are too much to handle." I whispered. If they weren't going to treat me bad before, they were sure to do it now, because even if I didn't deserve to be in there, I was in jail. Everyone was silent for a bit before I heard Emmett's chair slide slightly closer to me.

"What'd you do to be put in there?" He asked, completely intrigued. I now understood why he moved his chair, Rose couldn't reach him now.

"Emmett. That's enough, she'll tell us when and if she wants to." Esme chided. I was grateful for it, I didn't want to sound like a brat by saying 'I honestly don't know.'.

"So, I noticed you had a guitar. Do you play?" Carlisle queried, I noticed Esme's eyes light up with the question and I took it she was a music lover.

"Yes." I told them, still pushing my food around. Esme and Carlisle talked to their kids the rest of dinner about their day while I stared at my food. I had only eaten a small portion of it, but I was battling running to the bathroom to throw it all up.

Pretty soon, everyone was done and I dismissed myself to my room. I took a shower and brushed my teeth, all of the usual things I do before 'bed', and went to my room to plan my schoolwork for this coming week. I finished up at about eight o'clock, before going to work on finishing the book I had been reading earlier. Halfway through reading, I realized that Esme and Carlisle wouldn't know I home schooled myself, so I decided to go talk to them before it got too late. I went down to the living room to see Esme and Carlisle sitting on the couch, each with a different book. I walked to the doorway of the living room, that way if they got angry at me for ruining there moment, I would have a head start. I might not be in good shape, but I was fast.

"Excuse me, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen?" I asked quietly. They looked up and smiled at me. "Um, I wasn't sure if Mrs. Harks told you or not, but I home school myself through a private school, and if I were to be put into a different schooling system, it would really just be a waste of money and time." I informed them, looking at the floor. Of course, my real reasoning behind not wanting to go to a public school is the fact that I don't want to be surrounded by people, let alone teenagers, for eight hours a day.

"I don't know about that, I don't think you would get a very well education." Carlisle said hesitantly, the dislike of the idea showing on his face.

"I've been schooling myself since I left the detention center, sir. Also, every other week I take a test and mail it to the organization I am a part of. If I were to be put in a school, I would have already learned all of the material the last year." I explained, mildly desperate. I don't know what exactly I was thinking, because I would of never openly shown my disagreement to a foster parent.

I looked up, he looked unsure. "I can give you the number for the organization and they can tell you all of the things you want to know and confirm that I am being sincere." I offered auspiciously.

"Okay, I'll call them in the morning." He gave in, causing a small celebration to go off in my head.

"Thank you, sir." I thanked him and turned around to go to my bedroom.

"Oh and Bella," I froze. "You can call us Esme and Carlisle." He told me. I nodded my head stiffly and went to my room. I picked up my book to pass the time till I might be able to fall asleep, though I doubted I'd fall asleep tonight considering I was in a new house. By the time I read the last sentence, it was about two, and I decided to get my playlist ready and just lie down in the bed. I was listening to Interpol tonight.

I got out of bed when the sky started to lighten and got ready for the day after redressing my wounds and covering up the now purple bruise on my face. It was still clearly visible. I was done getting ready by five o'clock and then headed down to the kitchen to make breakfast. I decided to make blueberry pancakes and quickly got the batter ready. I made a ton of pancakes, guessing that Emmett probably ate a lot. I placed the two over-flowing plates of pancakes on the table along with the syrup. I also set out seven plates with utensils and glasses. At the sound of a shower starting somewhere in the house, I made the decision to go back to my room and start on my school work.

Right after I closed my door, I heard a door down the hall open and someone walk by. I went to my bed and opened my English workbook.

(EPOV)

I was always the first one up on school days, and the last one up on weekends. I woke up at 6:15 and got in the shower as an attempt to wake myself up. After drying off and getting dressed, I checked my homework and made sure it was all finished and as correct as I could get it. I then walked downstairs to get me some cereal, but was pleasantly surprised by two mounds of blueberry pancakes on the table. Bella must of done this, but why? Why did she make us breakfast? And how early did she have to wake up to make all of these? I piled four on to my plate before Carlisle came down.

"You made all of these?" He asked, a look of surprise on his face.

"Ha, yeah right. I came down here and they were just sitting on the table. I think Bella did it." I shrugged and took a bite, feeling my taste buds explode. He sighed and shook his head.

"What?"

"Bella, poor kid." Was all he said before sitting by me at the table and taking five for himself. After he finished, which was very quickly, he walked back up the stairs.

(BPOV)

There was a soft knock on my door, I quickly got up to let whoever it was in. It was Carlisle. My body stiffened and I clenched my jaw. A natural reaction.

"I just wanted to thank you for the pancakes, they were delicious. I also wanted to get that number." He explained his presence.

"Thank you, sir." I told him, happy I might be getting my way, before getting the number for him. He turned to walk off but stopped and turned back around.

"Bella? You don't have to call me 'sir', I want you to feel comfortable around me. Okay?" He said gently, making me uncomfortable. Why did he want me to be comfortable around him? I didn't really like how that sounded.

"Sorry, si- Carlisle." I corrected myself, not wanting to make him angry or anything.

"It's perfectly fine," He looked at his watch. "I need to go get ready for work now, I'll call this number when I'm at lunch, okay?" He proposed. I nodded and went back to my dreaded Chemistry. The house was now awake, I could hear people talking downstairs. I realized I didn't know how old any of them were. Well, except for Rose, seventeen, and Alice, sixteen. I wondered who all was going to school, I guessed that the two girls weren't since they were on the road a lot, they probably had tutors, and Emmett seemed like he might be out of high school. Wouldn't that be lovely? To be at home alone with the big bag of nothing but muscle that was Emmett? Sure sounds like my kind of fun.

I heard most of the sound downstairs disappear at around 7:30. I had finished all of my easy subjects, all that was left were my two longest subjects, Math and History. I cracked open the book and turned to my assigned page, The Black Plague. I finished at around 9:45 and decided to take a break before doing math, since I didn't have work today. Which reminded me of the fact that I need to find a new job. I got on the internet to check all of my sites, after fifteen minutes of just browsing the internet, there was a knock. I opened the door to see a bouncing Alice standing there.

"Good morning Bella, how did you sleep?" She asked. I didn't really know how to respond, but thankfully, I didn't have to, because she kept going. "By the way, those pancakes were super good. What do you want to do today?" She finished. I waited a moment to make sure she was actually done talking before answering her.

"Good morning to you, too Alice. Thank you." I told her. "And we don't have to do anything, you can go spend time with your friends. I will be fine by myself." I was perfectly content with loneliness.

"Oh, we're hanging out today, and if you don't give any ideas, I'll just tell you what we're going to do." She said it as if it were a threat and I wondered if I should take it as such.

"We can do whatever you want." I said in defeat, I didn't want her to feel obligated to spend her time with me. She got a huge smile on her face before she grabbed my arm and pulled me to what I guessed was her room.

"I am going to give you a makeover." She told me. My eyes widened, I didn't really like that prospect. Sure, the bruise on my cheek wasn't exactly hidden, but it didn't look nearly as bad as it did. Whatever, they were sure to see it eventually anyways. "Now, hop in the shower." She left the bathroom and closed the door behind her, I swallowed hard and turned the shower on. I stepped in and took a quick shower. Alice had came in while I was rinsing my hair and set something on the counter before leaving again. When I was finished, I dried off with a towel that was on the shower door before slipping into the robe Alice had obviously meant for me to put on.

Once it was on, I opened the door, just a crack. "I'm finished." I said softly, as always. She walked in and gasped.

"Bella! How did you get that bruise?" She interrogated, before understanding lit her features. I took it she knew how I got the bruise, but she was still waiting for me to say it.

"I, uh, fell down a flight of stairs the other day." I lied not so convincingly. She obviously didn't buy it, but let it go and started drying my hair. She talked about this and that while drying my hair, me responding using only the amount of information that was needed. I didn't like this, her doing this whole make-over deal, I felt like she was spending too much time on me. I then realized how much she was enjoying herself and decided this was like a game to her, I was just a little Barbie doll for her to dress up. It was okay by me. After she was done curling my hair, she left, telling me she would be right back. Her and Rose walked back in a few minutes later.

Rose's eye's widened when she saw the bruise, but didn't say anything.

She started on my make-up, trying, but not succeeding to hide the bruise entirely. When Alice went off to find me an outfit, Rose started talking to me.

"So your fourteen?" She asked. I nodded. "You don't act like a fourteen year old, kid." She observed.

I gave a harsh laugh"I have been through more in my life, than most adults have. I am not a kid, and never will be again." I told her, my voice flat. She looked surprised for a moment by the intensity of my statement, but composed herself when Alice walked in with a pair of jeans and a blouse…that showed a good bit of my upper back. Right. Great. Wonderful. This was sure to be a shit load of fun.

"I-I can't wear that shirt." I stuttered, hoping she would magically change her mind or be like, 'Oh, you're right, this doesn't compliment your eyes at all' or something of the sort.

"Of course you can, it's in your size." She told me, and I was about to argue when she gave me a stern look, and I knew I shouldn't push my luck. They both left me to change, and I took as much time getting dressed as possible before taking a deep breath and opened the door, stepping out. Alice squealed delightedly.

"Oh my god, Bella! You look so pretty." She crooned. "Now turn around, I want to see the full outfit." I shrugged, fake indifference, and turned, letting them see what they wanted to see. There was a sharp intake of breathe and a small smirk twitched onto my lips.

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**AN: ****No time for a wanna-be witty authors note today, sorry.  
Please Review!  
**


	4. Camisado

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it... Or do I?**

**No, I don't.**

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(BPOV)

"Bella, is that… is that an iron?" Rose asked in a shaky voice. I nodded my head, the twisted smirk still residing on my face. They were so damn…_ignorant_. Rose walked over to me and lifted my shirt up, looking at my back. I heard their breath hitch at the exact same time, both being quiet as they examined my back. I just stood there and waited for their next move.

"I'm getting mom." Rose finally stated, walking towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, why?" I stepped in front of her, stopping her from bothering Esme.

"Hmm, to ask her if she can take us to the fucking park." She replied sarcastically, trying to step around me.

"Oh, whatever, I'm taking care of them. They're healing just fine. No need to run off and bother everyone." I reasoned, still in only a pair of jeans and a bra. She looked at me incredulously, but didn't say anything. Then her eyes looked over me again, except, this time, she was looking at the front of me, and could clearly see the horrible bruise on my chest, the quite obviously broken rib poking softly against the purplish-black flesh. She looked like she was going to get sick.

"Oh. My. _God._" Her voice cracked as she walked back towards me. _Shit._ I hadn't gotten the courage to try to reset the bone yet, and I really didn't have any defenses against Rosalie's attempt to bother her mom with my injuries. Rose walked around me to call her mother upstairs, and I didn't try to stop her. I looked at Alice, who had tears in her eyes and what looked like a piteous look on her face as she stared at me. "I don't want your pity." I mumbled/growled. This entire situation was rather irksome.

Esme walked in behind Rose and looked at me in a shocked silence for a few seconds, and I waited impatiently as she composed herself. "Are…are you okay?" She asked dumbly. _Yeah, just great, though this bone stabbing against my skin is a little unpleasant. _Instead of saying what I wanted to say, I answered the question the way she meant it. "Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad." I answered truthfully. Of course, it was only the truth because I might of taken a Vicodin pill from the stash that I had stolen from the Davids'. Maybe.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Honestly, I'm calling Carlisle." She said, whipping her phone out, typing in the numbers and holding the device to her ear before I comprehended what she had said.

"He-hey, let's not be hasty now, he can fix me up when he gets home, no need to bother him at work." I was unsure of myself, I was standing up against an authority figure, and from past experiences, I knew that this was not a good idea. She didn't even look at me, Carlisle had answered and she was now telling him it might be in his best interest to get here as soon as possible. I didn't allow my annoyance to shine through like it oh so desperately wanted to.

Alice ran to my room and got me a pair of pajamas, and I went to the bathroom, changing out of the jeans I had been wearing and pulled on the pants, I also washed my face to get all of the make up off before pulling the shirt over my head. I got to the door and heard whispering, though it all stopped once I opened the door, the only remnants of what they had been talking about being the sympathetic looks on their faces as I stepped out. I looked away and grimaced, I still didn't trust these people, and their sympathy was making me anxious. Alice's door opened and Carlisle stepped in, medical bag in hand.

"Sorry it took so long. What's the matter?" He demanded, looking worried. Esme looked at me pointedly and I took this as a hint to take my shirt off, which is exactly what I did. He looked at my ribs with raised eyebrows and surprised eyes. "Everyone out." He ordered, voice all business. I swallowed hard at the thought of being in a bedroom, alone, with a man. My breathing grew a little bit faster. He told me to lay on the bed, and my eyes widened, my mouth grew dry, and I shook my head, inching back and away from him. Understanding crossed his features, quickly followed by that damned sympathy making it's appearance for about the fourth time today. "I just have to reset your rib, I'll leave the door open if you want?" He made an attempt at comforting me as my breaths got shorter and faster, I nodded, telling myself over and over again that he was just going to reset my rib.

He put his fingers on the bone, the other hand on my ribs, I held my breath, and then he pushed. I gripped the bed sheets and clenched my teeth to hold back my scream, partly from pain, partly from memories. He then started to bandage it, but when he got to my back stopped for a bit before getting more supplies and working on the burn, and cuts, not saying a word as I tried to steady my breathing, and trying to push out everything and anything that popped into my head. I was completely bandaged in 427 seconds, and his hands were off of me, and handing me my shirt the second he was finished, for which, I was grateful. I slipped my shirt on as quickly as I could in all of the tight bandaging.

Carlisle told me it would probably be a good idea to rest for a little while and sent me to my room to lay down. Instead, I grabbed my math book and sat on my bed to finish up my schoolwork for the day. It took me an hour and a half to finish the horrifyingly useless mechanism that is Algebra. I looked at the clock, 2:47. I sighed, I had nothing else to do. I opted for trying to sleep. I actually almost fell asleep, but, of course, someone knocked on my door, "Bella? Would you mind coming down to the living room for a family meeting?" I heard Alice's voice waft through the door.

I walked over and opened the door, Alice smiled at me slightly and walked with me down the stairs. Once we made it to the living room, I noticed everyone was there, each had worry etched onto their features. I rolled my eyes. Oh, honestly.

"Guys, really, I'm fine." I assured them exasperatedly.

"Bella, who did this to you?" Esme asked. With this question I did the classic palm-forehead move. If ignorance was bliss, these people were orgasmic.

I let out a humorless laugh. "This? James and Victoria did this as a way for me to always remember them. This," I showed them the branded 'A' on my right calf. "Is a way for me to remember the Andersons'. And this," I showed them the five 'D's carved into the inside of my upper left arm. "is my reminder of my days at the David's. And these," I showed them the three cigarette burns on the inside of my left arm. "are from Juvie." I stopped abruptly, not wanting to tell them about my reminder, reminders, of the Johnson's.

"I don't understand, why would someone do that to a child? And such a good one at that?" Esme asked nobody.

I gave a shrug. "Anger is addictive." Was all I said, not wanting to even broach the subject of my being a 'good child'. Yeah. Right. "Look, why do you even care?" I demanded, fed up with this one big, happy family charade they were trying to play off on me.

"Because we love you." Alice whispered.

I laughed. Hard. And it hurt my ribs, and it burned my back, but I went on with it. "Please," I sighed. "Love isn't my thing. It's not for me." I told them, backing away and getting ready to retreat to my room. Rose caught my arm.

"Bella, we realize that you have been hurt, but that's no reason to think those things of yourself." She tried to reason an invalid point.

I licked my lips and took in a short breath. "Let me ask you something, Rose. Let's say you were to get a kid, lets just say this kid is twelve years old, if you were to get this kid, and tell him everyday for two years you loved him and you said it with just so much passion, he had to know it was true. Now, lets say you were to ask this kid if he was loved, what would he say?" I inquired, a hard look covering my face.

"Yes." She said with a confused look.

"Yes, he would. Because you had pounded this into his mind for so long, he would know it had to be true. Now, if you did the exact same thing, except told him he was a monster unworthy of anyone's love, what would he say if you asked him the same question?" I asked her. She didn't give a response, and I didn't wait for one. I walked up to my room as quickly as I could and closed the door gently.

I sat on my bed and thought back on what I had said, immediately reprimanding myself. What the hell was coming over me? I was over-stepping my bounds by a long shot and I was just setting myself up for some serious shit when their mean gene kicked in. I wondered if an apology might lessen the blow, when things caught up with others and I found the calm and collected doctor's fist connecting with my jaw. Apologizing was my thing. I could kiss some serious ass, when need be.

So that's how I found myself, standing in the doorway of the living room again, calculating my chances of out-running seven people, three of which were grown men. They didn't look good. "Excuse me, please." They all looked up. "But I wanted to apologize, I took my anger out on the wrong people and you didn't deserve an ounce of it. I was out of place. I don't expect or deserve to be forgiven, but you deserve an apology." I apologized. I heard someone standup from the couch, and looked up, hoping I really wasn't going to have to try and outrun someone as built as Emmett. I saw Esme walking towards me, not a trace of anger on her face as she enveloped me in a light hug. My body stiffened, but I don't think she noticed it.

"Oh, honey, of course we forgive you." She said sweetly. I was confused at first, before settling with the fact that there must be a nuclear power plant or something of the sort nearby, causing this strangeness. That, or I was still hanging onto the theory that they were waiting for their little celebrities to be out of the house.

I thanked them and Emmett got up and gave me yet another hug. _Calm down, he won't pull anything yet. Not yet. Not yet. _I chanted over and over again in my head to keep myself from hyperventilating again.

"Well, it's already 5:30, who want's to order pizza?" Carlisle cut in, ending the mildly awkward silence. I wondered if I was the only one that noticed that everything always got awkward after the big guy hugged me. Probably. I realized how hungry I was, I hadn't eaten since last night, but I was used to not eating for a day or two, so I knew I would be fine. Unfortunately, my stomach didn't like how lightly I was taking this, because it growled at me. I blushed when Emmett laughed.

"Jeez, Bells." Another cringe. "When was the last time you ate?" My blush deepened.

"Last night." I answered, knowing it would ruin the moment, being proven right by the silence that followed my admittance.

"Why?" Edward questioned curiously. It was the first time I had heard him talk and actually listened to him, and his voice was lovely. Smooth and dulcet, not too deep, or too high. All I could think about was how I just knew he was a great singer.

"Well, with the past homes I've been in, I wasn't allowed to eat their food." I explained in a whisper, causing frowns to etch themselves onto everyone's faces.

"Well, we're not like those past homes, you can make yourself at home here." Carlisle assured after a moment of silence. "What kind of pizza do you guys want to order?" He asked everyone, lightening the mood.

"Meat lovers!" All of the boys yelled at the same time.

"A garden pizza." Alice said, Rosalie nodding with her.

"I just want a cheese pizza." Esme chimed in before they both looked at me.

"Um, whatever is fine." I shrugged, not wanting to be difficult.

"Okay, so two large meat lovers, one large garden pizza, and a large cheese, right?" Everyone nodded. Carlisle got the phone and walked out of the living room to a quieter place, Esme following. The other two couples broke off to spend some time alone, which just left me and Edward. He motioned me over to the couch and I sat about two feet away from him.

"Why do you prefer to be home-schooled?" He wondered.

I thought about it for a second before answering him. "Well, I really don't like the idea of being in a place filled with people for seven or eight hours. Plus, I don't like the public schooling system." I explained.

He nodded. "Alright, what are your top three favorite bands, least to greatest?" Whoa, way to change subjects abruptly, huh?

"Well, it changes often, but right now it would be Weezer, Desolate, Paramore, from least to greatest. What about you?" I didn't really understand how I was able to talk to him, why I felt comfortable with him, but I did, I literally had to force myself to keep my distance.

"You have a pretty good taste in music, let's see, leaving Desolate out, just because that's too obvious, mine would be Northstar, Taking Back Sunday, well, in their older days, and Bright Eyes."

I felt my eyes go wide. "You listen to Northstar? Wait, let me rephrase that, you have actually heard of Northstar? What's your favorite song?" I was amazed, I'd never met anyone who had even the slightest clue who Northstar was.

"Broken Parachute. What about you? What's your favorite song?" He asked, he kind of seemed like he didn't believe me. I wouldn't blame him, I wouldn't of believed him either.

"Like A.M. Radio, would have to be my favorite." I decided. "Alright, what's your favorite book?" I inquired, eyebrow raised. This conversation would not be allowed to proceed if he said anything along the lines of 'Books suck, I hate reading.'

"Oh, that one's easy, The Haunted by Palahniuk." He said, not seeming to take much time to think about his answer at all. "What about you?"

"I finished that book last month, it would have to be my favorite Chuck Palahniuk book, though Choke was a close second. Anyways, my favorite book would be Going Bovine by Bray." We had both turned ourselves on the couch so that we could look at each other while talking.

"Have you read Fight Club?" He asked.

"Yes, but I watched the movie first, so there was no surprise at the end and I kind of knew what was going to happen. It was obviously better than the movie, just not my favorite." I shrugged. He looked like he was going to reply, but the doorbell rang, signaling that dinner was here.

Edward and I got up to go sit at the table as I heard doors opening upstairs. Carlisle came in just as we entered with the pizzas in hand. He set them on the counter while Edward got two Pepsi's out of the fridge, I grabbed a paper plate and put one slice of cheese pizza on it while Edward put four of the meat lovers. He pulled a chair out for me before seating himself in the one next to me. Someone makes friends quickly. Not that I was really complaining.

Everyone else had started to file into the kitchen and grab themselves some food and a drink. Dinner passed quickly, Edward and I talking with each other through most of it. "What's your favorite movie?" He asked before taking a sip of his Pepsi.

"I have a few favorites. My favorite Disney movie would be Alice in Wonderland, my favorite comedy is Pineapple Express, and my favorite non-comedy is Donnie Darko. What about you?"

"My favorite Disney movie is Alice in Wonderland, too. Also a good book. My favorite comedy would be Grandma's Boy, and my favorite non-comedy is Fight Club." He smiled a crooked smile.

(EPOV)

After dinner, Emmett got bored and bet Jasper he would be able to take him down. Jasper, as always, took the bet and we all followed them outside. This happened at least once a month, and it got to be pretty interesting. Carlisle went out in the yard with them to referee.

"Okay boys, you know the rules. No punching. No kicking. And No biting." He said, looking at Emmett on the last one. Last fight Emmett broke skin on Jasper after biting his arm while being held down. "Both of your opponents shoulders must be touching the ground for three seconds for the win. On the count of three. One." He backed away from them. "Two. Three!"

They ran at each other, Emmett had Jasper on the ground almost immediately, but Jasper had managed to squirm out of it and ran a good ten feet to the other side. I already knew what he was doing, but Emmett had no idea. Emmett grinned and ran full force at him, but right before Emmett reached him, he moved to the side and stuck his foot out. Emmett fell to the ground with a loud thump, and Jasper pinned him. I heard the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, I looked to my right to see that Bella was laughing. I couldn't help but smile, too. I loved it, and decided right then that I would make it my job to hear it as often as possible.

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**AN: There! Now the Cullens know of allof her scars now...right? Ha, no my dear readers. Not even close. There are quite a few left. So, I'm kind of loving Sarcastic Bella, though her hiding behind it is not exactly a good thing. Edward and Bella have started talking, but this doesn't mean she is trusting them quite yet. She is not allowing any of her hopes get high. Please Review! I love them more than I love making fun of people with a WTF blanket. I- I mean snuggie.  
;]**


	5. Pressure

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it.**

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(BPOV)

It had been a few days since my idiotic outburst, and everyone had been acting very gentle with me. It reminded me of the old saying "It's always calm before the storm", and I was on the edge of my proverbial seat waiting for the lightning to strike and rain to fall. It was all just a matter of time.

Of course, there was also Edward. He and I had been talking a good amount over the past few days, though only staying on subjects such as books and music. He'd bring up one of his favorite songs, and we'd pick it apart and analyze the separate things, we'd talk about our favorite parts, or verses, and it was just kind of nice to talk to someone in such a light manner.

Since it was Saturday, I knew people wouldn't be waking up for a while, so I put plastic wrap over the food I had made to keep it warm before heading upstairs. Carlisle was constantly told me I didn't have to cook for them, but I guess it had become a bit of a routine I did. That, or I really just didn't want them to have any more ammo for when they decide to bring out the guns. I took a shower, glad for my fifteen minutes of a quiet mind, before getting ready for the day. Esme had told me the previous night that she was taking me out today, though I insisted they not waste time on me. She insisted that I needed to get out of the house, so her, Alice, and Rose were going to take me shopping or something of the sort at around ten.

The clock blinked 7:47, I didn't need to start getting ready for another twenty minutes. Time was something that I always needed to know. If at any point I lost track of it, the consequences could be catastrophic. My watch was my best friend.

I had decided to practice a bit on my guitar, considering I hadn't touched it since I left James' apartment. I ran through a quick finger exercise to warm my fingers up before deciding to play a few verses of _Brighter_. I had finished the song a little over a week ago, but had yet to perfect a couple of the verses.

_Now I think you're taking this too far  
Don't you know that it's not this hard?  
Well, it's not this hard  
But you take what's yours and I take mine  
Must we go there?  
Please, not this time  
No, not this time_

I thought I heard a creak near the door, but I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings at the moment, I was completely absorbed in my music.

_Well, this is not your fault  
But if I'm without you then I will feel so small  
And if you have to go  
We'll always know that you shine brighter  
Than anyone does_

I finished up and smiled a little, I drew inspiration for this song where I draw it from for most of my songs. Riley. Except this was on a lighter note. I heard clapping come from the doorway and looked up in shock to see a smiling Esme.

"Sorry, I hope I didn't wake you." I apologized, setting my guitar aside quickly.

"That was absolutely beautiful, did you write that?" She wondered, completely ignoring my apology. I gave a small, but genuine, smile, and nodded. One thing I could almost always be proud of was my music. It came from my soul and mind and nobody else's. It was all mine and something that no one could take away from me.

"You have a beautiful voice." She complimented with a grin. Something told me she was the artsy parent.

"Thank you." I whispered awkwardly, because I just can't stand be anything _but_ awkward.

"I better go take a shower and start getting ready. See you in a little bit, Bella." She smiled one last time before leaving. All this smiling was irritating. I decided to start getting ready, also. I put on my purple skinny jeans with my black long-sleeved undershirt and gray T-shirt with a multi-colored peace sign on the front of it. I put my black flats, 'PEACE' belt, and black and white striped scarf on after covering the horrifying bruise. I finished the outfit with my gray beret and black winter jacket.

I packed everything I would need into my blackish grayish messenger bag, put my watch on, and headed downstairs. I walked into the living room where Rose and Alice were playing cards just in time to see Rose throw down a card and exclaim. "Aha! Suck it!" At Esme's outcry of 'Rose', she apologized, but with a smug look on her face as she pulled all of the cards in and started shuffling. Alice was sticking her tongue out at her, like a perfectly mature seventeen year old.

"Morning Bella, you look cute." Alice complimented, looking up from her hand of cards and smiling at me. I gave her something that resembled a smile and sat down on the chair next to the couch where they were playing.

"Want to play, Bella?" Rosalie asked, dealing out the cards. I shook my head, but realized she couldn't see it.

"Nah, I'm fine." I spoke softly. I had made it my duty to speak as little as possible, to save me from any future trouble, and, thus far, it was working. I hadn't slipped yet. Well, with the exception of Edward. They played a few more games before Esme declared that it was time to go. We got into the silver Audi, Alice in the back with me, and took off. I wanted to ask where we were going, but decided I really didn't care.

After thirty, loud music filled minutes in the car, we passed a sign that said we were entering Port Angeles city limits. I had heard Alice and Rose talk about it, it's apparently the closest place for people in Forks to shop. We pulled into a parking spot in front of some store at the large, outdoor mall. Alice's expression was one of pure excitement and I remembered reading on a fan site that she loved shopping. The expression on her face told me that 'loves shopping', is a major understatement. It was quite obvious now by the way she was literally dragging Rose towards a _Wet Seal_.

Esme and I followed behind. "Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable earlier today, I just heard music and followed." She smiled impishly. I was momentarily shocked by her apology, not many people I've met lately have cared if their actions hurt my feelings. Which is why, after a while, I numbed over the damned things, and replaced them with sarcasm and counterfeit indifference.

"Oh, it's fine, I was just afraid that I had bothered you." I admitted, shrugging off the apology.

"Oh no, of course not. I love music. Especially music as good as that piece you were playing. What is the song about?" She questioned, eye's bright.

"An old friend." I whispered, all traces of a smile falling away from my face. She got a sad expression, but covered it quickly and nodded. Alice came over at that moment and pulled me up out of the chair.

"Go try these on." She ordered, shoving a few articles of clothing into my shocked arms. I headed to the dressing room, slightly confused, and tried on the outfit she had given to me. The pants were a kind of loose, but I didn't mind it, all of my pants were. I walked out of the dressing room and to the area where all three of them were standing.

"That's such a cute outfit, blue is definitely your color." Rose approved.

"It's almost perfect, but the jeans are a bit too loose." Alice said critically, as if it was just completely unacceptable.

"Then get her the next size down." Esme suggested the obvious.

"Their size one's, and they don't carry zero's." Alice informed her before sighing in, what I took as, exasperation, before her face lit up. "I have an idea, stay right there, I'll be right back." She said hurriedly as she dashed back into the clothing section of the store. She returned a moment later with a white leather studded belt. "Here you are." She handed the belt to me.

I did as I was told and slipped the belt through the side loop on the jeans, making the buckle on the side instead of the front.

"Why put it off to the side?" Rose asked, confused.

"If I put in the front while I'm playing my guitar, the guitar will get back rash. But if I wear it to the side, it doesn't. I picked up the habit a few years ago." I explained with a shrug.

"That's brilliant! I hate messing up the paint on my baby." Rose's eyes brightened, a grin adorning her face.

"Yeah, brilliant. Back to the outfit, it looks better with the belt." She said excitedly. "Go change and I'll buy it." She waved her hand back to the dressing room.

"I have money, it's fine, you don't have to spend your's." I told her, maybe a little desperately.

"It's the families money, not mine. You're part of the family." Alice retorted with a roll of her eyes.

I stayed silent, not wanting to make a fool out of myself again by objecting. "I-" Alice cut me off.

"Please, Bella? I really want to, there's no reason for you to spend your money…Please?" She gave me the most perfect pout I had ever seen. My mind was confused, I had been taught not to allow people to waste their money on me, but I had also been taught to never defy someone higher than me…which is basically everyone, but that's beside the point. I felt like I might short-circuit. I decided to just take a chance and pick one.

"O-" I hesitated. "Okay?" I tested it out, still thinking over which was the right to do, though I had already given my answer. I went back into the dressing room to change in a daze, I still felt immensely uncomfortable with this whole idea. When I handed the outfit to Alice, I was forcing myself to not shake, I was sure this was some kind of trick or something.

Alice took the outfit, smiling at me gently, and added it to her pile of clothing on the check-out counter. I felt somebody put their hand on my shoulder and I froze, my breath caught in my throat, eyes shut tight. I knew I was about to get it, not right here, not in public, but somewhere where people couldn't witness it. I felt the hand quickly lift away.

"Bella, it's fine, relax. Nothing bad is going to happen." I heard Esme's reassuring, slightly urgent, whisper. I opened my eyes and forced myself to relax, though I didn't exactly believe it. I knew this was all going to come back and bite me in the ass later. It had to.

We spent a couple more hours shopping, Alice didn't buy me anything more, which I was grateful for, considering I might of actually had a stroke had she spent any more money at my expense. My watch informed me that we arrived at the Cullen house at 4:13. Esme called the boys out to help with their bags. I grabbed my bag and went up to my room, ever since the incident at the mall, my nerves had been on end waiting for something to happen, but it never had. I locked my door once I had reached my room, though I doubted it would stop them. They always got to me.

I did multiple things to waste time which, after a while, included color-coordinating my closet and smoothing my bed out until not one crease could be found. I stayed up all night, afraid that as soon as I fell asleep, they would decide to punish me. By the time I finished getting ready the next morning, Sunday, I realized they still hadn't done anything, and a sudden memory flew across my mind.

_Jacob and I were closing on Christmas Eve, a rather slow day. We were talking about music when James called, Jacob could very obviously hear the screaming, or at least see the fear in my eyes._

"_I-I have to go, can you close up? It's only ten minutes away, I'll come in early the day after tomorrow." I pleaded, on the brink of hysterics, hoping he would understand. I really just wanted to sit here the rest of the night. I'd even settle for just sitting out in the snow until morning, but something told me that action would have dire consequences._

_He looked at me worryingly, eyes full of empathy and understanding. "Go, I can close up. Don't worry about me." He assured, trying to keep his voice light through his past demons making a mental attack. The same demons I was facing constantly and presently._

"_Thank you so much." I told him in mild relief, while gathering my things. I waved to him and took a deep breath before opening the door, I was not ready to get back to James._

_I was walking out the door when Jacob called me. "Hey, Bella? Hang in there. It'll get better. Trust me, there's a family out there for you, one that'll treat you right. Wait and see." He told me. "Merry Christmas." He smiled at me. _

"_Thanks. Merry Christmas." I offered a weak smile before heading out into the blistering cold and making the walk to my personal hell. Laughing silently in my head at his promise of happiness._

It made me wonder…Could the Cullen's be who Jacob was talking about?

I shoved the thought out of my mind, it had only been a few days, I wasn't going to let my hopes get high.

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**AN: You might see Bella as a little hard-headed, but, shit man, it's only been a few days. Give her some time. This chapter shows just how paranoid the cruel tricks and gags that her previous Foster parents have made her. Bella's a broken, razzled, paranoid, and all around fucked up girl. She'll come around eventually. Anyways, How'd you like the chapter? It's the shortest one I've written, but I kind of struggled with it. Show it some love. The song in here is 'Brighter' by Paramore, since I'm not creative enough to write my own songs to use. Please review! I love them more than MLIA.  
**


	6. Is This Thing Loaded?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it, obviously.**

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I had now been staying with the Cullen's for two weeks, nothing major happening in that time span. I spent a majority of my time in my room or finding something to clean. The Cullen's had yet to do anything that may cause me damage, being gentle, holding themselves back from touching me, actually talking to me, or attempting to at least…And it was driving me insane. I was sleeping less than I had since after the…incident with Riley. My nerves were just about shattered.

Part of my mind was telling me they were good people, they weren't going to hurt me, they were the people Jacob was talking about, but the other, much larger part of my mind was telling me it was a trap, to make me feel comfortable with them so they can not only hurt me physically, but destroy me, even more, emotionally. Then the last part of my mind was telling me to forget about it and just go to sleep. That part of my mind was extremely miniscule, though.

My brain wasn't functioning properly, due to the lack of sleep, it took me two hours to finish math now, while making breakfast the other day, I burnt my hand on the muffin pan because I forgot to put an oven mitt on. I also wasn't feeling very well, Alice had caught a cough the other day, and since my immune system was weak, I had gotten a cold, instead of just a cough.

Alice and Rose had been gone a lot lately, recording a new album, I had heard one of their songs they were playing for their family, but immediately felt bad for eavesdropping and left.

It was three o'clock p.m. and I was trying to finish up my history. I titled the page of my only outline for the day and realized I hadn't paid any attention to the date since I moved into this house. I looked on the clock on my bedside table and realized Christmas day was only a mere week away. I hated Christmas, if I was ever to be given the chance to remove a day from the year, it would be December 25th. I guess it wasn't really the holiday as much as the date it was located that I hated. December 25th, 2007 is a day I will never forget, nor will I ever enjoy that day. In my eye's, it's a day of grieving, not joy.

I finished my history just before the door slammed open downstairs and I heard the voice's of the Cullen boys. I looked at the clock, it was already four, and I briefly wondered why they got home so late. "Mom! We're home, and will be for two full weeks!" I heard Emmett exclaim. I had also given myself a planned two week break in my year for Christmas, simply to not have school work.

I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hands before focusing back on the drawing I was attempting to put on paper. It wasn't coming out as good as it had looked in my mind, but I didn't care, I just wanted the idea out of me. It was really two pictures, but that's beside the point. It only took me about ten minutes to finish the drawings and get them the way I wanted them. I sat back and looked at the pictures, they weren't half bad, except for the fact that I was completely incapable of drawing fire. It looked more digital than anything.

I heard a quick knock. I forced myself up off of my bed and opened the door to a beaming Edward. "Hey Bella, Carlisle is taking us all out to eat," He informed me happily. "but you don't have to go if you don't want to." He added on, not seeming to like this idea as much.

"Um…" Was my brilliant response.

"Please? We're not going anywhere fancy, just Chili's. We want the _whole_ family to be together tonight, since we haven't been able to lately, with Rose and Alice being so busy." He put a pout on his face, widening his eye's the slightest bit and lowering his head just a fraction of an angle. His older sister had taught him well.

I smiled slightly, I couldn't help it really, even if I didn't like to look at guys like that, he _was_ gorgeous. "Okay." I relented.

"Please, we really…Wait, what? Awesome, I'll go tell Esme." He said happily before jogging off towards the stairs only to stop and turn towards me. "We're leaving in an hour, could you be ready in about fifty-five minutes?" He questioned so quickly I almost didn't catch his question.

I nodded. He smiled at me again and jogged off towards the stairs. I went back into my room and changed before touching up on my make-up, the bruise was almost gone by now. I had finished getting ready five minutes early and decided to go ahead go downstairs in case they decided to leave early.

I realized that I actually didn't feel paranoid about this, I didn't feel like they we're going to chain me up and throw me off of a pier or something like that. Over the last two and a half years I had grown a radar of when something was not right, I'd get a funny feeling in my stomach. That wasn't happening. I walked into the living room where everyone except for Alice and Rosalie was sitting. Esme stood up and walked over to me.

"I'm so happy you decided to join us, Bella." Esme smiled at me before giving me a hug, causing me to stiffen, as usual. Even if I didn't feel like they were going to hurt me tonight, I still didn't completely trust them. She let go of me quickly.

"Oh sorry." She said softly, a very quick flash of hurt passing through her eyes, making me immediately feel guilty, though I wasn't exactly sure why.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." I told her, offering her a fake smile. Rosalie then walked into the room, Alice trailing behind her. We had to take two cars, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rose took the Jeep, and Carlisle, Esme, Edward and myself took the Mercedes. Once we got in the car I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands again before yawning. This insomnia was going to kill me.

"You haven't been sleeping well lately." Carlisle said it more like a statement than a question. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably and shrugged. No need to tell him I hadn't 'slept well' in quite a while, or that I hadn't slept nearly at all this past week. "How many hours of sleep do you get a night? This week." He asked curiously. Great, he can't just let it drop, can he? There was really no point in us having this conversation, when I told him only about half an hour, to an hour at most, he'd tell me I should get more exercise, and chew some valerian root. I'd tried it all before, none of it worked. Didn't want to be rude though, don't want to face the consequences of that. "Uh…" I said smartly, because I was just full of intelligence today. He looked at me expectantly, but kindly too, not trying to be forceful.

"An hour?" I sighed my answer, which was somewhat of a lie. _Some_ nights I was lucky to get an hours sleep, others I just stared at the ceiling until the sun rose. He looked thoughtful.

"It's probably insomnia, you could get a little bit more exercise, and we can buy some valerian root while we're out tonight, it should help." He said after a few moments of thinking. I held back from shaking my head and laughing, and nodded my head at him instead. These doctors, they were all the same.

We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes afterwards, the Jeep already parked in the small parking lot. The other's had already gotten us a table so simply we walked in and sat down. Carlisle sat on one side of me and Edward on my other.

"I'm paying tonight, alright? No complaints, and I want you to actually get something. Please?" He asked me quietly so no one else could hear, giving me a gentle smile when I nodded, before he turned back to the rest of his family. "So how was your day, everyone?" He asked looking around the table.

"Boring mostly, after school Jasper, Edward, and I went Christmas shopping." Emmett said, shrugging his shoulders.

"You guys went shopping without me?" Alice asked almost sounding hurt.

"Sorry, we had to get all the girl's presents today, which includes yours. You can come with me when I buy Carlisle's and Edward's." Jasper said to Alice softly, causing her face to light up.

"What about me?" Emmett asked.

"Oh, I already got your's." Jasper said mysteriously, an evil glint in his eye's.

"They always give each other gifts that embarrass each other." Edward whispered to me as the conversation the others were having went on. "Last year, Emmett got Jasper half of the 'My Little Pony' collection. Jasper got Emmett a princess outfit, he even got it tailored so he could actually wear it." Edward explained, laughing.

I laughed slightly, too. Edward's smile grew. "I got your present today, too." He said, almost shyly. I looked at him in shock.

"Wha-What? You didn't have to get me anything, really." I told him a bit desperately. He looked at me curiously.

"You don't want anything?" Shock was evident in his tone.

"Not really, I don't really like people spending money on _me._" I put slight emphasis on 'me'.

He smiled at me. "Really, Bella. Carlisle is a very successful doctor, and so was his late grandfather that loved him like a son. Money really isn't an object for us." He said with a shrug.

The waitress came then. "Hey, my name is Sarah and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you guys to eat?" She asked kindly. She seemed nice, she had her brown hair pulled up into a ponytail and was about 5'5", with bright blue eyes. She also had a button on her shirt that said 'In my mind, I'm doing the Time Warp'. Everyone made their order, I got the Cajun Chicken Pasta, the cheapest food item that wasn't an appetizer on the menu. She brought us our drinks telling us our food would be here shortly.

"What's the 'Time Warp'?" Alice asked. Every jaw at the table dropped, including mine.

"You don't know what the Time Warp is?" Carlisle asked, a small smile on his face. Alice shook her head, looking maybe a little embarrassed.

"It's from the Rocky Horror Picture Show." Emmett said, as if that would remind her. She looked at him a bit more confused now. "Oh come on, Alice, even Bella knows what the Time Warp is and she's two years younger than you. Rosie and I will show you after dinner." He looked at Rose who smiled, confirming she was fine with it.

The waitress brought us our food shortly after and we all ate quickly, though a lot of my food was left, considering me eating that much food would be an impossible feat, so I got a box for the remainders of it. Carlisle quickly paid, me trying to keep myself from thinking about it by listening to the conversations going on around me. Once the waitress came back with the receipt, we all headed outside.

"Alright Alice, are you ready to learn the most amazing dance ever?" Emmett asked rhetorically. He pulled Rosalie to stand by him, them standing a good bit away from each other, as to not accidentally hit each other.

"It's just a jump to the left." Rose said, both of them following the words with the action.

"And then a step to the right." Emmett said, both of them tapping their foot to the right a few times moving their arms in time with their foot.

"You put your hands on your hips" Rosalie started singing it, they raised their arms, shimmering their hands before dropping them down to their hips.

"Pull your knees in tight." Emmett sang back, a huge smile on everyone's face knowing what was coming next. Well, except Alice.

"But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane." They said together, thrusting their hips a few times, before moving them in a slow circle.

"And _that,_ my friend, is the Time Warp." Emmett said dramatically, giving a bow and all that good stuff.

After a few more minutes of talking Carlisle decided it was time to leave, considering he had work in the morning.

"Actually, I was wondering who wanted to go for a walk in the park, since school's out and all." Rose inquired, nodding towards the park across the street.

Emmett raised his hand immediately. "We're going to head home, we're heading out early tomorrow, we're going to Seattle to go Christmas shopping." Alice said, gesturing towards Jasper.

"Do you want to go on a walk Bella?" Edward asked me. I thought about it seriously for a little bit, I knew that they wouldn't pull anything with Rose there…I really was starting to doubt they would pull anything regardless who was there, which scared me shitless.

"Sure." I finally answered, smiling back at him.

* * *

**AN: Buh-bam, Bella is starting to feel a bit comfortable with the Cullen's. Now, for those of you who are planning on saying 'I think things are going too fast again.' Think about it, their not bothering her, she always checks their expressions and has yet to find anything devious about them, plus, I'm not saying she's about to go out and tell everyone her secrets, who Riley is, etc. Well, not yet atleast. But yeah, the waitress is based off of one of my best friends. :] Also, I got three reviews last chapter. Now, I'm not going to be all 'your not getting a chapter till I get so and so reviews' Because, as previously mentioned, I'm not like that, but I'm just saying that reviews give me a reason to write, and getting so little really made me feel like 'Wow, should I update if the story is really this bad?' I do want to thank the three of you that did review though, your reviews made me happy. :D**


	7. Technicolor Eyes

**Disclaimer: ****Holy shit, I own Twilight!**

******No, no I don't.  
**

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Edward's bright green eyes gleamed with happiness. "For real?" He asked. I nodded back at him. "Awesome." He said under his breath. "Bella and I are going for a walk in the park, also." Edward announced to the rest of his family. Shock crossed their faces. Esme was the first to recover and let a face splitting grin take over her expression, the others soon following this action. Normally, I'd be having a panic attack if an entire family was grinning in my direction, but these smile's weren't sadistic looking, they actually looked genuine.

"Okay, but be home by 11:30, alright?" Carlisle instructed, everyone nodded. "Okay, be good." He called to us before getting into his car.

"Let's take the car to the park so we don't have to cross the highway on foot." Rose said, after Carlisle's car pulled out of the parking lot. We piled into the Jeep, Emmett starting the car up, they had apparently left the radio on…loud, so when the car was turned on, Avenged Sevenfold was blasted through out the vehicle. I jumped, slamming myself into the back of the seat, also letting a small scream escape, which sounded more like a yelp from a dog. Edward jumped too, just not as dramatically as my jump/scream.

This caused Emmett to burst into laughter, turning the music down a bit before throwing the car into reverse.

"You okay, Bella?" Edward asked.

I smiled at him and nodded.

"Bella, you sounded like a dog." Emmett laughed. I gave a small laugh back, I had always given a weird squeak/yelp thing when I was surprised. Every head turned in my direction. Now, really, this was getting annoying, I understood why they were all shocked, it's not that common of an occurrence for me to laugh, but still, they didn't have to express this shock so blatantly. We had arrived at the park now and were getting out of the car.

"Hey, Emmett and I are going to head over to the pond, are you two okay by yourselves?" Rosalie asked, really just looking at me. Her question sounded more like 'Are you okay to be alone with Edward?'. I thought about it for a second, there were a couple of people in the park, so if my judgments of him were wrong, it at least wouldn't be proven so here. I nodded along with Edward.

"Okay, meet up at the car at eleven, if there are any problems just call me." She said before her and Emmett walked off. Edward and I headed in the opposite direction.

"So, what's your favorite Christmas memory?" Edward broke the quasi-awkward silence, walking beside me, making sure to keep his distance.

"When I was nine, I got my guitar. I had wanted one since the Christmas before, but Renee and Charlie thought I was too young and would break it. I was ecstatic when I woke up that morning and found the guitar, I spent the whole day playing around with it, even though I didn't know how to actually do anything on it. I started teaching myself how to play after a week." I said, smiling at the memory. "What about you?" I turned my head to look at him.

"When I was five, I got a Buzz Lightyear costume and life size cut out. I was _obsessed_ with Buzz Lightyear. My room was painted so it would look like I was in space, I had posters of him and Woody all over my wall, I had to of had twenty Buzz action figures. All I wanted for Christmas that year was a Buzz Lightyear costume, I didn't care about anything else. I seriously did not change out of that costume for three days before dad told me I had to take it off or get it taken away." He admitted, laughing at the last part. I smiled at him.

We had wandered into the playground area and were sitting on the swings now. I was watching my feet as I barely moved my swing back and forth. "What did you do for Christmas last year?" He inquired after a moment of silence. I stopped moving, and gripped the chain of the swing tighter.

"Nothing too festive." I said, maybe just a bit harshly. "What about you?" I was trying to change the subject. I turned to look at him only to see him looking at me questioningly before covering up his expression.

"Oh, uh, we just stayed home and relaxed really. Rose and Alice were on tour during that time, so we hardly got to see them, and we were all happy to get to spend a couple of days as a family again." He told me, looking at the ground again. He started twisting his swing around, causing me to raise my eyebrow at him. He twisted it a few more times before picking his feet off of the ground, making him spin. I watched in amusement as he stood up dizzily, and laughed when he tripped over the end of his jeans.

I decided I would help him up, considering he was still on the ground. I stood up and offered him my hand, he looked at it for a second before taking it and letting me help him up. It was strange, it felt like an electric current ran through my hand when I touched his.

"What was the point of that?" I questioned, laughing slightly. He gave me a crooked smile.

"Why must there be a point? Can't I just act a fool 'cause I want to?" He said the last sentence to a beat before doing what I imagined was meant to be a 'gangsta pose'.

"So you're an aspiring rapper now?"

"Aspiring? Psht, I've _been_ a rapper. You don't even know." He flipped his hand, looking away playfully.

"Oh? Well then, could you please enlighten me?" I asked, sarcasm dripping into my voice.

"Of course, this is one of my latest piece's." He cleared his throat. "Awesome Possum. Plural for possum is Possi. Possi rhymes with Hippopotomi. Hippo's are at the zoo. There are two. One's missing a shoe. Uh…The other has quite a nice hair-do…Word." He moved his head with the almost non-existent beat. After most of my laughter had subsided, I clapped.

"Well, I'm sorry I doubted you." Just then, the wind blew, blowing ice cold rain with it. "Oh wow, this is the exact opposite of warm." I shivered.

"Let's head back to the car." He yelled over the rain, which was starting to pick up speed. By the time we reached the Jeep, we were completely soaked. He attempted to open the door, only to find that it was locked._ Fuck._ "Fuck." He cursed, mimicking my thought. "I'll call Rose." He yelled over the rain. His frozen fingers fumbled over the numbers, finally getting it right the third time.

"Hey Rose, where are you guys?…Yeah, well while your in a warm, dry coffee shop, Bella and I are freezing to death in this ice rain…Yes, it's raining…fine." He snapped the phone shut. "They will be here in five minutes…dry." He said bitterly. I nodded my teeth chattering. They both came running in with an umbrella, the bastards, exactly six minutes later.

They unlocked the door and Edward and I quickly got in, both of us shivering uncontrollably. "Sorry guys, we didn't realize it was raining." Rose explained while Emmet turned the heat on.

"I-It's fine." I told them, though Edward was glaring daggers at their heads. I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my fore-head against the top of my knee, still shivering quite violently.

"Hey Bella, you okay?" Emmett solicited, his voice holding concern. I nodded, trying to assure him.

"Edward, trade seats with me and take your shirt off. Emmett give Edward your shirt." Rose ordered, climbing over the seat to get in the back, then moving to let Edward climb up front. She took her jacket off. "Take your shirt off and put this on." Normally, I would of not even thought of it, but I was too cold to care right now. I pulled my soaked shirt over my head before putting her jacket on. I felt better, but was still cold.

"Emmett, start driving home, her lips are blue." She looked at Edward quickly and sighed, worry covering her face. "And so are Edwards."

Edward and I had started coughing a few minutes into the ride to the house, the sneezes coming soon after. Rosalie called Carlisle and told him what had happened, so when we arrived he had Jasper waiting in the garage. I felt horrible, I was exhausted, and from the groans coming from Edward, I'd say he wasn't feeling too hot either. Emmett supported most of Edward's weight as he walked in while Jasper simply carried me in. I stayed stiff until he put me down, even if my muscles were screaming at me to just let them rest.

"Come on sweetie, you need to change into some dry clothes." Esme said after I had been laid down on, what I guessed, was my bed. I sat up and Esme handed me a pair of my pajama's and undergarments and left the room to let me change. I peeled my damp clothes off of my body lazily and changed into the new pair of clothes, telling Esme that I was decent when she knocked on the door. I had gone back to lying down, laying under the blankets, finally feeling warmer. Carlisle came in a few minutes later.

"Well, I don't think it's going to be anything serious. Probably just a bad cold, but I'll keep a check on you. In the mean time, get some rest." He told me, handing me some medicine. I looked at it dubiously, slowly bringing it to my lips, staring at him all the while

"Thanks" I said, wincing. I didn't realize how bad my throat hurt until I talked. After thirty minutes of tossing and turning, the medicine finally kicked in, putting me to sleep.

I woke up, coughing like mad and groaned, my throat was killing me, I looked over at the clock, 3:27 a.m. I decided to go get a drink, hoping it would douse the flame in my throat. I got out of bed and went to open my door, I heard another door close as soon I opened mine. I looked down the hall to see Edward standing there.

"I was just getting a drink." I croaked.

"Me, too." He rasped. "Come on, let's get some hot cocoa."

"Sounds good." I said before another few coughs escaped my throat. We walked downstairs and into the kitchen. I got two mugs out while Edward put six cups of water into the coffee-maker to heat the water up.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Sleepy and sore, but I've had worse." He said with a shrug. "What about you?"

"Basically the same, sleepy and sore." I sighed.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" He asked suddenly. I looked at him in surprise.

"Something to do with music, if I'm not good enough to be in a band or a solo artist, than a producer or something like that. What about you?" I asked him, looking over at him to see he had a smile on his face.

"I want to play music, too. I play the piano." He revealed. I looked over at him again, suddenly different now that he was a fellow musician, my eyebrows raised. When I looked over at him, his eyes caught mine and it was like I was hypnotized. I couldn't look away, even if I did want to, they were so colorful and bright, but beyond that they were happy and innocent, it was beautiful. We both jumped when the coffee timer went off, except I fell off of my chair.

"Woah, hey, you okay?" He asked, offering a hand to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I said, taking his hand and embarrassed I so obviously been out of it. The same electric current passed through my hand, I looked up and saw surprise pass over his features, might he of felt it, too? What the hell was it?

"Let's go make some Hot Chocolate." He said after a few seconds of silence, my throat flaring at the reminder. We quickly made our separate cups and sat back down at the seats we were sitting at earlier. I took a sip of the hot beverage, I sighed as it soothed my throat a good bit.

"How many songs have you written?" He turned to look at me.

"Five or six." I admitted with a shrug.

"I'd love to hear you play sometime."

I blushed and looked down at the table. I hadn't done that in a while, blush, I mean. I used to blush all of the time, but after I got out of Juvie, it disappeared. I looked back up at him. "Maybe when my voice sounds more like it's coming from a human than a frog." I relented with a wide smile.

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**AN: Whoot, Bella is opening up more, and to Edward. Now, I'm thinking, I'm not positive yet, but I'm thinking I will reveal Riley next chapter. Plus, Carlisle is going to tell Bella what she thinks is bad news. Basically, a _lot_ is happening next chapter. By the way, that little yelp/scream thing Bella does, I do that too. Which is why my nickname is Shnabby The _Mouse, _because I 'squeak'. Thanks for all of the reviews last chapter, and now all you people that reviewed before I re-wrote this story don't have any excuses...even though I told you how you could say what you wanted to say in chapter five, but that's beside the point. Anywho, Happy New Year! I'm amazed I survived 2008. Not because I have a horrible life or anything, just because there are so many people that die in a year. Please review!**


	8. Nineteen Stars

**Disclaimer: *Sneaks into an office, steals copywright to Twilight and runs away, whooping in victory* Victory is mine!**

**-The next day- *holding onto bars of her new jail cell and sighs* I don't own shit.  
**

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(EPOV)

"If you could fight any historical figure, who would it be?" Bella asked. We were currently sitting on the floor in her room, me leaning against one wall and her laying on her stomach, playing twenty questions, though we were on question twenty-seven right now. It was the day before Christmas Eve, and Bella and I were still sick, though it had been clearing up. The sore throat was no longer a problem, that was over with the day after we got sick. Bella and I had been hanging out a lot lately, mainly because everyone else was out of the house, enjoying Christmas break, though I wasn't complaining about my time with Bella.

"Ramses the 2nd. He had too much." I answered after thinking it over for a little bit.

"You just think that because he was a pimp." She smiled before coughing a few times. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded, causing her to shake her head. Carlisle came in then, with a small smile, though I could tell he was a little nervous.

"Bella, may I talk to you for a moment?" He asked her. I saw her go stiff, her jaw clenching and hands balling up into fists, before she nodded slowly. I got up and left the room to give them some privacy.

(BPOV)

"Bella, may I talk to you for a moment?" Carlisle asked me. He was smiling, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes and I was immediately on alert, I nodded slowly as Edward got up to leave the room.

"Okay, I'm just going to say it, not going to beat around the bush, okay?" I was pretty sure he was talking to me, but it sounded more like he was talking to himself, I was starting to get worried. "Bella, I think it would be best if," He paused for a moment, though I already knew what he was going to say, and felt crushed, they were shipping me off. "I think it would be best if you started going to public school. You need some human interaction." He said quickly. I let out a sigh of relief, the cloud that was over my head lifted, though a small part of it came back when I realized what he had said.

I grimaced but nodded anyways, I didn't want to be one of those bratty teenagers who cry when they don't get what they want. I really didn't like this though, I don't think these people understand what it's like. I. Don't. Like. People. I was just starting to think about maybe trusting Edward, it had taken all my will power not to freak out when he came to my room, though after a little bit I was fine with him. How was I supposed to trust a few hundred kids I had never even met before?

"I know you don't like the idea, but your in the same grade as Edward, so you guys might have some classes together, Emmett and Jasper are there too if anything were to go wrong, which it won't, and, I promise that if it doesn't work out you can go back to what you were doing before, okay?" It sounded like he was trying to bargain with me. I nodded again, my mind still freaking out.

"Okay." I told him, my voice a little strained, though, to him, it could easily just be the cold.

"I promise, it won't be that bad." He smiled at me gently before walking out of the room. As soon as he was out of sight I slid down the wall, biting my thumb nail, the other hand ran nervously through my bangs.

(EPOV)

As soon as I saw Carlisle leave Bella's room I walked over to her doorway, it still open. She was on the floor against the wall, biting her nail, and over-all looking very nervous.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked her softly, sitting down next to her and looking at her in concern. I saw her swallow hard before nodding. "What the matter?" I was getting worried now, she looked like she had seen a ghost.

She shook her head and gave a fake smile. "It's nothing, I'm just over-reacting." She said. "Hey, I'm kind of tired, I'm going to try to take a nap, okay?" She said, standing up. I looked at her in concern before getting up.

"Sure, sweet dreams." I told her before leaving her room, closing the door behind me and heading downstairs. I spotted Carlisle sitting on a stool near the island while Esme made a sandwich.

"What did you and Bella talk about?" I asked him, trying to not get angry. Before they talked, Bella was just fine, she was smiling and talking.

"She's going to start going to Forks High with Emmett, Jasper, and you. Why?" He asked around flipping through channels on the television.

"When I went in there she looked really nervous." I said vaguely. "Why did you think it was a good idea to put her in public school? She hasn't even opened up to any of us yet, me and her can't get past the shallow subjects, she stays in her room a lot, she obviously doesn't trust us. She doesn't trust people in general, and for good reason." Was he out of his mind? He was a doctor, he should know she's not ready for this.

"Look, Edward, I know she's afraid, but she needs to face her fears, I know she's had a rough past but we're hoping to change that, and in order for her to be normal she needs to have some human interaction." He replied calmly. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before plopping down into a chair, I knew he was right, but I felt bad for Bella, she was genuinely afraid of this. I looked up and saw both Carlisle and Esme smiling at me. I looked at them suspiciously.

"What?" I asked slowly, narrowing my eyes at them.

"Edward's got a cru-ush." Alice said in a sing-song voice. I snapped my head in the direction I heard the voice to see her in the doorway, smiling widely when I turned to look at her.

"I do not." I defended, rolling my eyes. Though, I wasn't positive if that was a lie or not, did I have feelings for Bella?

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure about that?" She asked before walking away.

"You know, it kind of creeps me out when she does that, be all vague and then walk away." I said, changing the subject inconspicuously. I heard Alice's tinkering laugh from upstairs. "Ears like a bat, I swear." I muttered. Alice was one…unique character. Carlisle and Esme laughed slightly at my comment before I told them I was going upstairs.

I was walking down the hall on the third floor, Bella's room and my room the only two on the level, when I heard a guitar being played softly, I had heard the song before, I just wasn't quite sure where. The music was coming from Bella's room, I knocked on her door, hoping to find out if she was feeling better or not. The soft music never stopped, but I heard a soft 'come in', so I entered her room. She was sitting on her bed, just playing her guitar, not singing, staring straight ahead, thinking.

I realized where I had heard the song before, it was from the audition tape that she had sent into the contest, just without the words. "You still want to hear me play?" She asked, not turning to look at me, keeping her intent stare at the wall.

"I'd love to hear you play." I told her, looking at her questioningly. She stopped the note that was hanging in the air and started to play a different chord. Her voice was beautiful, smooth and even. When she sang, her voice gained power, it wasn't timid like it was when she talked.

_Show me anger  
Fierce fists  
clutching onto air  
show me you care. _

Her expressions that she made when she sang told me that the experience she had written this song for was still fresh in her mind. Still haunting her.

_No one can catch me The way that you catch me  
The way that you keep me when I'm out of sight  
What if I need you  
What if I can't see you  
I'm running out of life _

Her vocal range was insane, she would start a line low, then slowly raise her voice higher and higher.

_And I wanna scream, wanna scream your name  
Oh my, my light can't save  
You're my wish You're my wish my wish  
You're my wish tonight_

By the time her song was finished, she had a tear rolling down her cheek. Her voice was beautiful, and held so much emotion _I_ wanted to cry. "That was amazing. What…What's it about?" I asked her cautiously.

A few more tears escaped before she took in a shaky breath, eyes glazing over.

(BPOV)

_I had just been released from Juvie and my social worker was driving me to my first Foster home, the Anderson's. I was happy as all hell to get out of that place and I was sure that whatever was to come couldn't of been worse than jail. I was wrong. A week after I arrived Riley, another Foster kid, moved in. She had already been in the program for two years, she told me, and she smiled at me in an all-to-knowing way. The beatings started the day after Riley showed up._

_I guess it _wasn't_ so much different than Juvie._

_When the Andersons' decided they didn't want Foster kids anymore, we were moved, but we refused to be separated forcing the center to, grudgingly, move us to the same homes. The Davids were worse than the Andersons, because they had kids just as cruel and doped up as themselves. They were druggies, which meant their tempers were short. Over the months that we were together, we grew really close. We only had each other as a reason to get through the day, she was like my lifeline, and I, hers. Or so I thought._

_After the Davids' secret addictions had been discovered, we were moved to the Johnson's, and that where things started getting…horrible. Our first night there, Mr. Johnson and his friend came down to the basement, drunk beyond all hell, and they told us that that damned basement was where we would basically live. Afterwards they both got a sadistic look to them before they, uh, they…_

_They hurt us in ways the other two houses hadn't. They came back the next night and after they were finished with us, both looking as happy as a fucking clam, Matt, Mr. Johnson, informed us of a job opening he had for us. My stomach sank as the words left his mouth. We were made into his whores, he would invite his twisted friends over and they would pay him for a night with us._

_After two weeks of it, Riley and I turned into zombies. We were lifeless. At night, after everything was over and done with, we would just sit by each other and wait till morning to clean._

_One day, I came home from a job and started looking for Riley. I couldn't find her anywhere. I finally found her in the bathroom, with the door locked, her sobs emitting softly from the bathroom. Her hopelessness and depression leaking through the door to me._

"_Riley? What's that matter?" My voice betrayed the panic I was quickly feeling rise. Some of the men that came by were really rough with us, had one hurt Riley too badly?_

"_I can't do this anymore, Bella." She finally whispered. I didn't want to register what she was saying._

"_What? No, no, come on, I know their starting to get tired of us. They'll be shipping us off any day now." I was desperate, she couldn't do this. It wasn't possible. It wasn't really, surely this wasn't actually happening._

_She scoffed. "Oh yeah, so we can go to some other monsters who do the exact same things? Go ahead Bella, give me one good reason that I should keep putting up with this bullshit?" Her voice was cracking, and I knew this shit was real. She was in there with some type of item that she was about to end it all with. I was searching for the key to get into the bathroom. It's around here somewhere, I saw it just this morning. Where is that damned key. I thought for a bit, trying to get my wording right before answering her._

"_Because…because I need you." I admitted, desperate, and sad, and frantic, and sobbing, and shit, where was that fucking key. I was pulling my hair out in clumps now. There was a pause, and I thought I had convinced her, before she whispered the words that tore my shredded world into tinier little pieces._

"_That's not good enough. I'm so, so sorry, Bella." I finally found the damned key and opened the door, to see that I was too late. There were deep gashes up both of her arms._

_I rushed over to the phone and dialed emergency, "Riley, please, please stay with me. Come one, stay awake. Riley, please, stay awake." I screamed into her ear. Slapping her face to keep her alert. Her focus was drifting in and out. When the operator finally answered I told them the situation, and to just come straight down the basement, don't bother with the front door._

_After ten agonizingly long minutes of holding bloodied towels to her arms, the EMT's finally busted in the door and came rushing in. They immediately started to try to patch her up, putting on the stretcher all the while. One of the police officers let me ride in the cruiser with him to the hospital, since they wouldn't allow me to ride in the ambulance. When we arrived at the hospital, they rushed her into the OR and I was forced to wait in a small, entirely way too uncomfortable waiting room for a few minutes before a man in uniform walked up to me, telling me he needed to ask a few questions._

_I told him everything. About the Johnson's, about what we were forced to do, about Riley, and about what happened in the bathroom, and he listened, writing all this shit down, nothing but a big ol' wad of pity plastered all over his face. He asked for a number he could contact in order to get in touch with her social worker and I gave it to him before asking when I could see Riley again. He looked at me sadly, "I don't know." and then left me in the room he had led me to, so that we could talk in private._

_When her social worker showed up, so did mine, both looking embarrassed and sad, probably due to the fact that they hadn't noticed what was going on over the past two months. Mrs. Brendon came over to me while Riley's social worker filled out the information sheet needed. "I'm so, so sorry, Bella." And those words were too much, I broke down crying, sobbing, I couldn't breathe. Everything, it was all suffocating me and I was on the floor, bawling my fucking eyes out, and nobody could do anything, because yet another very important person in my life had left me with nothing more than a simple 'sorry'._

_I must of blacked out at some point because I woke up in a hospital room just as another bed was being rolled in. Riley. I stood up, glad there was nothing inhibiting me from getting to her bedside, with all of the fucking wires and tubes, and bags of blood all over her small, beaten body. Both of her arms were gauzed up and there was a machine breathing for her. The person that had rolled her in left quickly, but not before drenching me in pity with one fucking look._

_Nurses were in and out of the room, having to resuscitate her three times throughout the night, the tears never stopping their dance over my cheeks. The fourth time the machine flat lined, and the doctors and nurses rushed in, they couldn't revive her. The doctor called it at 4:17 a.m., December 25__th__, 2006_

(EPOV)

"I ended up in a hospital for two weeks because I had gone catatonic. Matt and his wife and friend ended up in jail for twenty-five to live for prostituting minor's and abuse. Riley ended up in a grave, her soul in heaven, with the rest of her family. I wouldn't be able to take it if that were to happen again, my heart wouldn't be able to take it. That's why I don't open up to anyone, I might just get too close to them." She whispered brokenly. I didn't care anymore, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me, I wanted to take away some of her pain. Throughout the story, rage, disgust, sadness, and maybe just a little bit of vomit had built up within me. I knew right then that I did, in fact, have feelings for Bella, even if they were just barely a crush.

After a few moments, she very cautiously, very slowly, wrapped her thin arms around my torso causing me to smile despite myself. A couple of minutes afterwards her crying had stopped and she let go of me.

"Sorry." She whispered, her voice hoarse from crying, looking away embarrassed.

"About what?" I questioned, blatantly confused.

"For crying and ruining your shirt." She admitted, scowling and looking down. I didn't even look at my shirt.

"Bella, you can't apologize for being human." I told her increduously. "Can I ask you something though?" She nodded.

"Why did you tell me? I mean, I don't mind, but why did you choose now to tell me?" I asked her, hoping I would offend her or something of the sort. I wondered what had happened to make her decide to open up that wound to me.

"I need to face my fears, so I can be _normal._" She said, she said 'normal' with a bit of disgust in her voice.

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**AN: Okay, before I say anything else, notice the last line(Carlisle said it earlier in the chapter), that is the reason she told Edward about Riley. Yeah, I know, tear-jerker, right? I'm not going to say anything about when to expect the next chapter because then I have to hold to it, and I fucking suck at that. And, if anyone was maybe wondering, no, Alice is not a vampire, just an awesome human. The line 'Ears like a bat' is from Scrubs. The song is Nineteen Stars by Meg & Dia, I name my chapters after songs. I am currently learning how to play guitar, and I must say, it is quite a painful experience, my fingertips are numb, but in a painful way. Thanks for all of the reviews! Please ****Review! I love them more than I love introducing my new pet fish, Sparta, to people. -deep, dramatic voice- "This. Is. Sparta"  
Yes, that is actually how I introduce my fish.**

**Don't judge me.  
**


	9. Here In Your Arms

**Disclaimer: -looks around shiftily-I don't own anything. -runs off-  
**

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(BPOV)

"You heard us talking?" Edward asked me, sadness crossing his features. I looked down and nodded, suddenly feeling slightly ashamed.

"Yes. I was coming down to apologize to you and Carlisle for freaking out about the whole school deal, and then I heard you guys talking and I didn't want to interrupt…but I left after I heard that, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." I told him quickly, hoping he wouldn't think worse of me than he already did. Though that would be pretty hard, considering I had just spewed one of my burdens all over him.

"No, no, I'm not mad, don't worry." He assured, looking up from his hands. "You're really scared about going to public school, aren't you?"

I paused for a little bit before answering him. "Yeah, I don't like the idea of being around a ton of people, especially ones I don't know." I confessed.

"Well, you and I are in the same grade, and Carlisle is pretty well connected, maybe he could make it to where we got quite a few classes together." He looked up at me to make sure I didn't object and I smiled at him.

"Could he really do that? Without causing much problems?" I asked him, hiding the excitement in my voice.

He nodded his head thoughtfully. "It's more than likely."

Alice busted in then, looking between Edward and I in surprise before a bright smiled lit her face. "Bella, we have to go shopping, I don't care if your sick. You have yet to get Roaslie's and Esme's gift, and I haven't gotten Emmett's." I looked at her, mildly freaked out.

"How did you know what gift's I had gotten?" I interrogated. The only person that would know what I had gotten would be Esme, and that's because she offered to come with me when I told her I needed to go Christmas shopping. She wouldn't let me spend a dime of my saved up money, saying, "No one else in the family used their personal money, but the _family_ account." She had put emphasis on 'family', just like every other person did when talking to me. I even caught myself putting emphasis on the word while reading.

Edward just shook his head. "Alice knows everything." He whispered loudly, so his sister could hear, causing her smile to widen.

"So, will you go with me? Pretty please with sexy vampires on top?" She had pulled her face down into a pout, which I was amazed she kept when she said her last sentence. I hadn't done as well as her and laughed along with Edward.

"Um…" I sighed, there really was no denying that pout. "Yeah, I'll go with you."

She jumped up and own while clapping before running/skipping off.

"Well, I guess I better get dressed." I sighed again, getting up off the bed and picking up the guitar that I had laid on the floor to put it on it's stand.

"Okay, see you later." He waved a quick goodbye before shutting the door behind him. I got ready quickly, being completely finished in a mere ten minutes.

-It's a super radical time lapse, dance with me!-

I was laying in my bed, looking at the ceiling. It was Christmas Eve, and I hadn't really left this room at all. I was glad that Alice or Esme hadn't tried to drag me out like they usually would, I think they somehow caught onto the fact that I was feeling exceptionally depressed today. I looked at my watch, 9:07 P.M. Two hours and twenty-nine minutes until it is exactly two years since Riley had made the move that killed her.

"I should of found that damned key faster, or bust down the door or something. God, I should have been more convincing, 'because I need you', like that would stop anybody. I should have not convinced the center to keep us together, she could of gone to another family, a _real _family" I muttered to myself, letting the self-loathing take over, I had basically killed Riley with all of the mistakes I made. I rubbed the knuckles of my right hand against my forehead, right above my eyebrow.

I heard a knock on my door. "Just a second." I called, forcing myself up, which I found to be extremely difficult. It was like my guilt was physically weighing me down.

" 'Sup Bella? Haven't seen you all day." He said, looking at me carefully before continuing. "Every year, Esme and Carlisle let us open one present on Christmas Eve, so let's get our bums down there and get to unwrapping, deal?" He said quickly, excitedly, he had that shine in his eyes, that happy little glint. The amount of envy I held for that happy fucking glint was borderline ridiculous.

I didn't say anything, or nod, I just started walking down the stairs, Emmett quickly followed. He looked at me, a bit confused, and stopped us on the second floor, biting his lip, like he was trying to decide something. After a few seconds, he picked me up into a huge bear hug. My body twitched, I was starting to feel more comfortable with the Cullen's apparently, since I stayed mildly relaxed, aside from the twitch. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad.

He put me down a moment afterwards and I looked at him questioningly. "You looked like you needed it, and I have been told my hugs are quite amazing." He answered my unspoken question, though he said the last part a bit, and by a bit I mean very, arrogantly. I gave him a small smile and started walking down the stairs, Emmett right to beside me.

"Thank you." I told him sincerely. Though a hug wasn't going to make me feel normal, well, normal for me, it did make me feel better, just knowing that he actually cared to acknowledge my mood, and attempt to fix it. He smiled a bright, face-splitting grin at me before walking into the living room, where the rest of his family was seated. Edward motioned for me to sit near him on the couch, the only piece of furniture that wasn't occupied by a couple immersed in conversation. I went over and sat next to him, putting a good seven inches between us.

"Okay, since everyone is here, and Emmett is making the love seat a vibrating chair." Carlisle sent a pointed look over at the over-excited teddy bear. I had decided to call him that, in my head at least. "Let's open presents." The words hadn't but barely left Carlisle's mouth when Emmett sprang up from the couch and ran towards the tree, over to the section that held all of the presents for him.

"Patience is a virtue, Em." Jasper teased. Emmett sent a small glare at him, rubbing the side of his nose with his middle finger, causing Jasper to smirk in amusement. He picked the box from Esme and Carlisle, which was rather large, and walked back over to his seat next to Rose before tearing through the paper, revealing a red and orange cardboard box.

"Guitar Hero: World Tour?! Hel-eck yes! I am going to _own_ you at this Jasper." He boomed before petting the box. "Thanks Mom, dad." He said quieter than before, though he was still pretty loud.

"We're glad you like it. Who wants to-" Carlisle was cut off by Alice.

"I will." She said quickly, standing up and skipping over to the boxes, picking Emmett's gift. She opened the gift and glared at Emmett. "Is this some kind of subliminal message?" She asked, holding up 'The Devil Wears Prada' DVD, everyone else in the room cracked up.

"I was wondering if you'd catch it." He laughed, along with everyone else. Rose got hers next, a straight iron from Jasper. She looked at him in surprise.

"Alice told me how much you hated your's." He shrugged, a smile playing at his lips.

"Oh, Jazzy." She said, giving him a hug before sitting back next to Emmett.

"Bella, do you want to go now?" Jasper asked, he always seemed to be so calm, I think that's why Jasper and Alice are so great together. You know, opposites attract and all that.

"No, you can go first." I told him quickly, I was enjoying everyone's reactions to their gifts. He stood up and walked casually to his stack of present's and grabbed the small, rectangle-shaped box from me. He walked back over to Alice and sat down before opening tearing the paper up and lifting the lid. His eye's widened and a small smile crept onto his face.

"What is it?" Emmett asked impatiently, craning his head to try and see over the edge of the box. Jasper lifted the gift out of the box and showed it to everyone. It was a watch, the strap was black leather, the watch-case silver, and the dial was the Cullen Crest.

"Oh, Bella, that's beautiful." Alice said, looking at the watch. "Where'd you get the idea?"

"Well, Edward had told me about the Cullen Crest, and told me how Jasper was wanting a way to wear his in a way that was a bit more original than everyone else's. Carlisle helped me pick it out." I explained, a light blush twinging my cheeks.

"I love it Bella, thank you." Jasper said, smiling widely at me.

"No problem." I smiled back at him. "Edward's turn." I announced, still trying to get out of having to open up a present for myself. I wasn't too comfortable with these people wasting their money on me, no matter how much they have.

He sighed before getting Rosalie's gift and sitting back down. He tore the paper away and laughed when he saw the roll up piano. Rosalie looked a little hurt by his laugh, which he must of caught, because he quickly added. "It's wonderful Rose, really, I love it. I was telling myself last night that I needed one." He assured her and the smile went back on her face.

"Okay, there's no more avoiding it, it's your turn Bella." Alice said happily. I was curious to see what they had gotten me, considering I had probably not let on too many clues, though I was pretty sure of what Alice got me. I picked the gift from Alice, since no one had picked her yet, and sat back down. I ripped the wrapping paper off to reveal a pair of lime green converse.

"Did you know I've wanted a pair of these since I was ten? Thank you." I told her genuinely, a foreign emotion, excitement, slipping into my words. I had almost bought a pair a few months ago, but the money was needed elsewhere. Esme and Carlisle picked a gift each, Esme got a set of oil paints from Edward, and Jasper gave Carlisle a new volume to some medical text book.

The excitement died down almost right after Carlisle and Esme thanked Edward and Jasper, the couples all heading to different rooms. With all of the happiness gone from the room, my depression from earlier started creeping back and I automatically looked at my watch, 11:13 p.m., twenty-six more minutes. It kind of sounded like I was counting down until the time, when I was really just making sure I didn't miss it. I went up to my room so I didn't have to be alone in the living room, Edward had gone to try out his new roll-up piano right as I stood up from the couch.

I sat on the floor, in front of the door to my bathroom, remembering how bright and optimistic Riley used to be. I remembered the night I came back down to the basement of the David's after an especially tough beating, and I told her I didn't know if I could take anymore of it. I remembered how she made me promise I would never take my own life, and how she promised the same thing to me. I almost didn't hear Edward open my bedroom door. I almost didn't see him walk over and sit next to me on the floor. But there was no missing how comforting his arms felt when they wrapped around me, no matter how out of it I was. I looked down at my watch and let out an almost silent sob, 11:36 P.M.

"It was now, wasn't it?" He asked quietly.

"11:36." I whispered back to him almost inaudibly.

He held me tighter to him, and stayed silent the rest of the night until he fall asleep, nearly an hour after entering the room, me stepping off of the cliff to unconsciousness soon after.

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**AN: ****Yeah, I know, short chapter. But really, with the way I've been feeling this week, I had to keep myself in check to not make something catastrophic happen. So, I need some Emmett gift ideas, I can't think of any 'Emmett like' gifts for him to give. Don't worry, Christmas day will not go into nearly as much detail in the opening present's area, that was tiring. Anyway's, thanks for all of the reviews, I appreciate them dearly. I watched Benjamin Button, well, most of it, there are some bits and pieces I'm a little...fuzzy on. ;] But yeah, the movie was awesome. Please Review! I love them more than gravity hates me.**


	10. Monster

**Disclaimer: Thy dearest writer doth not proclaim ownage on yet a thing to do with th' book of setting suns.  
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(BPOV)

I awoke to Emmett banging on the wall downstairs, yelling at everyone to 'get their lazy bums up and open presents'. I groaned and tried to stretch, I felt very stiff and, as I attempted to stretch, I realized why. I had slept sitting up against the wall for God knows how long. As I looked around, I noticed I wasn't alone, and instantly remembered what all happened last night. I looked at the clock hurriedly, 9:33. I had slept for eight hours.

I hadn't slept that long in years.

I wondered what the key was, what I did different and came up with my answer immediately. Edward. I found it highly unlikely, considering my strong weariness of the opposite sex, but I honestly couldn't think of anything else. I felt a big smile break out on across my face, only to have it quickly vanish.

It's the ultimate torture, I know what can help me finally get a full night of sleep, but it's such an impossible request to ask of someone, it would never work. I mean, the only reason Edward stayed with me last night was because he saw I needed _someone_ there for me. He wouldn't possibly want to do that every night, hell, even once a week. I wanted to smack myself for even thinking about asking him for such a thing.

As I focused back on reality, I noticed a pair of bright green eyes starting at me questioningly.

"Bella, what's taking…" Emmett stopped and looked between Edward and I before quirking an eyebrow and smirking. "Well, well, well, what's going on in here?" He asked, stifling laughter.

"Oh, shut up Emmett, we fell asleep talking." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say. Come on, let's go open some presents." He called walking down the stairs towards Alice's room.

Edward stood up and held his hand out to me. I feigned a smile and took his hand, I was trying not to think about my new revelation.

---

The morning had passed rather quickly, most of it filled with laughter, torn pieces of wrapping paper, and playful banter between sibling. Though most of the gifts that Emmett gave were gag gifts, everybody got some pretty decent presents.

After the gift giving was over and done with, everybody went their separate ways. All the guys in the house went outside to set up Emmett's new punching bag in the garage, Rosalie and Alice headed up to Alice's bathroom to mess around with their newly acquired beauty supplies, and Esme went to the kitchen to prepare the Christmas dinner. I had went up to my room to put the un-necessary presents I had received away. I honestly didn't feel like being alone, so I decided I would see if Esme needed help in the kitchen. I walked slowly into the kitchen, wringing my hands in nervousness. I cleared my throat.

"Um, Esme? I was wondering if you'd like some help?" I asked in a timid voice, because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't _not_ be nervous around these people.

She smiled at me warmly. "Of course, you can start on the potatoes?" she pointed at the bag of potatoes sitting on the counter. I smiled at her and started peeling the potatoes, a comfortable silence fell between us.

I had just put the sliced potatoes into the boiling water when Emmett came barging into the kitchen. "It's up, it's up. Come check out it's amazingness." He said, reaching out to grab my hand, before thinking better of it and using it to wave me towards the garage. I looked at Esme.

"Go on ahead, I can finish up in here." She smiled before turning back to the green bean casserole. I shrugged and followed a jumping Emmett back out to the garage, passing Carlisle who was headed back to his wife. Once we were in the garage Emmett ran over to his new prized possession that was hanging in the middle of one of the un-used parking spaces in the Cullen's overly large basement.

"Isn't it _amazing_?" He asked me, putting so much emphasis on 'amazing' that it sounded like he whisper screamed the word. I smiled, his happiness being contagious, and nodded. "You want to take a whack at it?" He challenged.

My eyes widened. "Oh, uh, no, it's okay."

"Oh come on Bella, just a little punch. Please?" He asked, his face dropping into a pout, which I almost laughed at. I mean, how convincing did a pout look on a grown man with biceps the size of a tree trunk?

"Fine." I sighed in exasperation, because apparently this family had pouting in their genes, walking up to the punching bag. Emmett stood behind it to hold it in place, as if he would really _need _to. Now, I didn't exactly know how to punch, so I just made a fist, pulled my arm back, and threw it full force at the over-stuffed pillow.

Emmett didn't even have to tense a muscle. This made him laugh.

I punched it again, trying to make him move at least a little, And then again. And again. And again. And then something happened. Something clicked and I kept punching it, over and over again, I couldn't stop. I wanted something out of it, I just didn't know what. I started punching harder and harder, getting angry because it just wasn't happening.

Then I realized what I wanted. I wanted it to scream, to cry. Like a human would if it was being punched. Like I did with James, like I did with Matt, like I did with every other family I had been with before the Cullen's. My hands stopped, realizing what had just happened. I backed away from it slowly, looking on in horror at the punching bag.

I had turned into a _monster._

Even if it was with an inanimate object, I had still experienced that feeling. The same feeling my previous 'family's' had experienced when throwing me around like a rag doll. The same feeling that made me absolutely terrified of _every human I fucking meet._ I started shaking my head before I ran away, passing a confused Edward, I ran up to my room to wallow in my self-disgust.

I shut my door behind me and slid down against it, only to get back up so I could sprint to the bathroom after thinking about what had just happened so I could empty my stomach contents into the toilet.

After I was done, I washed my face and rinsed out my mouth before looking at myself in the mirror. I had heard the stories of kids who are abused, end up abusing their kids, and so on. I didn't want to become that, and though I didn't actually hit _anybody_, I had felt the surge of excitement that causes it. And it felt good. I think that is the worst part of it, I liked how it felt to not be the one getting hit, but the one dishing it out. I loved finally having the upper hand.

Having this thought made me finally realize why James always seemed so giddy after giving me a beating, why Matt always found _something_ I didn't do perfect so he could throw me around, why Nathan, Mr. Anderson, was all smiles after I'd scream. Because it got your adrenaline pumping and endorphin's rushing. But, damn it, that didn't make it okay.

And I knew that, for now. But who's to say that somewhere down the road I don't just throw all of that out the window and decide that since I suffered, so should my kid. And I didn't want that to happen, and I was having a strange feeling that I needed to talk to somebody about this, a professional. Maybe a doctor. Like Carlisle.

I threw the thought away as soon as it came to me. This family was treating me as their own, though I didn't really deserve it, and it felt nice to feel like someone cared for me, if I were to tell them about this…I couldn't help but think they would send me away. I mean, who want's to raise a possible psycho?

I sat in my bathroom for a while and thought about what I should do, I definitely had a feeling I needed to tell _somebody_, but no one in this family.

_Jacob._

The thought hit me, and suddenly I was reaching for my phone. I clicked a random button to wake it up, and was about to dial his number in when I noticed I had been up here for an hour and a half. Like I said before, this was a nice family, and I didn't want to ruin their Christmas by being a Debbie Downer and staying in my room all day, so I decided I would call Jake later, or maybe tomorrow. When I had lived in Seattle, Jake had usually been the one I brought my fears to, not all of them, of course, but at least some, simply because he knew exactly what living life as a foster kid was like.

I cleaned myself up before returning downstairs to try and seem like everything was normal, when honestly, I was so far from it, it was almost laughable.

Almost.

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**AN: "Oh my god, she finally updated, it's a short-ass chapter though" I know, I know, it is very short, but this took me three fucking days to write. I'm slowly but surely getting used to writing again, I swear it will not take me this long to update again. Anyways, I know that some of you will be like, "Dude, WTF, who cares that she went to town on a punching bag?" It's not that she hit something, it's what she felt when she hit it, and how she wanted a negative reaction from it. She knew that that was exactly how the people who wrecked her felt when they were destroying her. That's why she hates herself, at the moment. Jacob will be making an appearance in the next chapter, even if it just a little appearance. Oh, by the way, for those of you who refused to read my new story because they were pissed at me for not updating this one, will you go check it out _now?_ Because, I only have, like, 70 hits on the story. Well, please review and tell me you hate me for making you guys wait so long for _this. _I love them more than I love not updating for months at a time.  
(^Sarcasm, don't hate, yeah?)  
**


	11. That's What You Get

**Disclaimer: Yo, man, shawty don't own shit.  
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(EPOV)

I didn't know what to do when Bella ran off with tears in her eyes. Mainly because I had no idea _why_ she did, but also because their was a little voice in my head that told me I should leave her alone on this one. So, I decided to find random things to do to keep my nervousness on Bella's behalf from showing. But when I saw her when she _did _come down, an hour and a half later, there was no hiding my worry. And yet, that annoying little voice was still telling me to just leave the subject alone.

Damn voices.

(BPOV)

I seemed to be fooling everyone with my mask of happiness. Well, everyone except Edward, who kept shooting worried glances over at me every five seconds. He didn't make a move to talk to me about what happened earlier though, for which, I was grateful. Still, he knew something was up.

Damn Perceptiveness.

I tried to look like I was enjoying the night, but honestly, I wasn't even really there. I didn't taste the food that Esme had worked so hard on making, but I complimented on it. I didn't hear the jokes Emmett was making, but I smiled at them. I stopped seeing the nervous glances by Edward after a little while. I tried my hardest to make it seem like I wasn't just a shell, of a shell of a person

After we ate dinner, the couples all left for their alone time, and though it seemed like Alice and Jasper, and Emmett and Rose had been spending a lot of time together lately, it was only because Rose and Alice were leaving on tour in two weeks, and would be gone for three months. I had found this out during the week that Edward and I were both sick, and got closer than I ever thought would be possible for me with any human, let alone a male.

I took this opportunity to escape up to my room, and call Jacob. I grabbed my phone and was dialing his number faster than I thought my fingers could move, but I stopped myself before I pressed the call button. _Should_ I bother Jake with my problems? I mean, I'm sure that hearing about my stories just makes him relive his own. I thought about this for a few minutes, before pressing the call button, because _I was a selfish bitch._

It rung one, two, three times before I heard Jake's gruff voice, "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake, it's Bella." I said nervously, still second-guessing myself.

"Bella?! Holy shit! Are you okay? Did something happen again? Are you eating? What-" He asked in a panic. Maybe I should of called him at least once since I've been gone, just to let him know I'm with a decent family. This guilt was just all consuming, huh?

"Jake, I'm fine, well, physically, the family I'm staying with is actually…" I thought for a moment. "very, very nice. I have my own room, they basically force me to eat, and they haven't touched me in any way _other_ than nicely." I said, letting him know through my voice I was still surprised by my answer.

"Really? That's wonderful!" He paused for a second. "What do you mean by 'Well, physically'?" He questioned, concerned.

I blew out a gust of air before starting. "I don't mean to bother you with my questions, but I feel like you're the only one that I can talk to about this." I took a deep breath. "Okay, uh, one of the kids that I live with got a punching bag for Christmas, and wanted me to punch, for reasons unknown to me. Anyways, I punched it once, and the guy didn't even flex a muscle to steady the punching bag, so I decided I would punch it until he had to move at least a little. Anyway, somewhere in the middle of it, I felt something come over me, and I just started punching as hard as I could, repeatedly on the punching bag.

"That's when I realized that I wanted to punching bag to scream, you know, like feel pain, like it was alive or something. I wanted to cause it pain." My voice got thick, and I had to force the words out of my mouth. "Jake, I think I'm turning into one of them, you know, like my previous families." I whispered.

"Bella, listen to me, you are **not** going to become one of them." He said sternly.

"Oh, and how do you know that, Jake? Did I forget to mention that I thoroughly _enjoyed_ beating the shit out of that bag?" I asked, slightly raising my voice. I was in my closet, so that no one could eavesdrop on my conversation.

He sighed. "Bells, look-" I cut him off.

"Do not call me Bells." I said in a deadly tone.

"Sorry, Bella." He corrected, before continuing. "Bella, you know better, you have a conscience, you wouldn't do that to somebody."

"Jake, I've only been going through this stuff for a little over two years, I still have four years left. That's plenty enough time to lose a conscience, not all families are going to be as nice as the Cullen's, and it is extremely unlikely I'll stay with them for more than a few more months."

He was silent for a few minutes, and during his silence I thought about how painful it was going to be to leave this family, not just because they are being nice, but because I broke the number one rule of Foster care: Don't get attached.

"I know you won't, because I did the same thing you did, I felt the same feelings you felt earlier, except I was hitting a person. A kid I went to school with Junior year, when I was seventeen, a year after I got in the Foster program, but after I got my adrenaline rush over with, and the disgust hit, I apologized a thousand times over, helped the kid up, helped him clean up the wounds I'd caused. I still felt horrible about it, about loving how I felt after I made him scream. But you know what? It hasn't happened again since, and I have walked away from many a fight since then. I have kept myself from punching someone, no matter how annoying they are.

"Kid, I know your not ever going to hurt someone, because you obviously felt so bad about feeling happy about beating an inanimate object that you needed help. After you feel that self-disgust, you don't want to feel it again, no matter how good what led up to that disgust felt." He told me in a reassuring tone. "Those monsters that hurt you, that hurt me, don't feel that self-disgust after breaking people down, they laugh and smile and celebrate. That's not people with no consciences, that's people who mock them."

I thought about what he said for about two minutes. "Thanks Jake, I think your right. I still have my doubts, but their not nearly as bad they were before. You're a life-saver." I told him sincerely. I still had that nagging thought in my head that I would become… one of them.

"So, tell me about this family of your's." He said, simultaneously changing the subject and mood.

I felt a small, almost unnoticeable smile make an appearance on my expression. "Well, there are five kids, three of them are there's, and two of them, twins, they adopted, like, nine years ago. The family is extremely rich, but they don't act snobby at all. There are three boys, Emmett and Jasper, who are seventeen, and Edward, who's fifteen, and two girls, Rose, Jasper's twin, and Alice, who's sixteen. Carlisle is a doctor, and Esme doesn't work." I explained.

"Bella," He said in mild disapproval. "You're getting attached. You are setting yourself up to get hurt."

I was quiet, because I knew he was right, hell, I had even thought it earlier, but the fact that Jake could tell I was attached meant I was way too far in. But, wait, he was the one that told me he was sure there was a family out there for me. He was the one that had my hopes up that maybe, these people who treated me so much like theirs already, might someday become my family. "Bullshit. Jacob, you are full of bullshit" I accused angrily. There was a shocked silence. "You are the one that told me there was a family out there waiting for me, did you not?"

"I did, and, honest to God, Bella, I really hope these are them. But, you have _got_ to prepare yourself for the 'What if's', just in case." He finally explained after a few seconds of silence. And I wanted to hate him for saying it, but it was the truth. This life was so unpredictable.

"I'm sorry it has to be like this, I can't imagine what it's like to be your age and not have anyone you can just hold onto, but it's for the best." He whispered sympathetically. Jake had never found his home. Not while he was in Foster care, anyways. He didn't find his family until last year, when he was eighteen, he and met his girlfriend, Vanessa

"Yeah, no, your right. I'll just have to tough through it, push these people away a good bit more, thanks for talking to me tonight. Have a good Christmas." I said distractedly.

"Okay, yeah, you too." I hung up the phone after I heard his line disconnect.

I really just wanted some stability in my life, but I'd squash the want down, because having want's only end up hurting you, just like getting attached ends up hurting you, just like not being perfect ends up hurting you, just like feeling ends up hurting you. The best way to get through life as a foster kid, is to be an emotionless robot. And I couldn't get that through my thick head, which is why I _always _end up getting hurt.

I sucked at being a Foster kid.

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**AN: ****I know, another short one. But I liked how this ended, and it didn't take me nearly as long to update again, so that's gotta be a plus, right? Meg & Dia release their new album on Tuesday! Maybe you people saw their music video, Black Wedding, on MTV. Probably not. Well, I personally liked this chapter, which is odd for me to say, considering I'm hella self-conscious of my writing. Yeah, I hoped you liked it. New update on HMTYDM _should_ come either today (Sunday) or tomorrow, but I don't know. I also have to say, since I started writing I have yet to get one mean review, and I am completely amazed. Review and tell me you hate me for once again posting a short chapter, and still making you guys have to wait for two weeks. I love reviews more than Kel loves Orange soda.**


	12. Agree To Disagree

**Disclaimer: ****I dasn't own a thing, ya horn swogglin' scurvy cur.  
**

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(BPOV)

Jake was right, I was only hurting myself by getting close to a foster family. And since I had already been here a month, I knew I wouldn't be here much longer, which meant this whole distancing shin-dig needed to start as soon as possible. It also meant something else.

Since I had, rather stupidly, gotten comfortable here, I stopped doing some important things. For example, I hadn't checked the supplies in my medical kit since I left James' house, and probably needed to stock up on some things. Another, more important thing would be getting back on the pill.

I hated it with a burning passion and felt horribly ashamed every time I took it, but with this lifestyle, _there was no other choice._ Even if I did, for some fucked up reason, want to get pregnant, I wouldn't, and for obvious reasons. What with the near constant beatings… Well, lets just say I wouldn't stay pregnant very long. One reason being, a man wouldn't want physical proof of what he did. Too easy to catch, or, if the man had a conscience at all, a reminder of what he did. Unfortunately, I didn't come across too many men like that, one's that actually gave a damn.

I spent the entire night thinking about how I would go about this. I wasn't worried about school anymore, I seriously doubted I would be able to stay here for another two weeks anyway. My life just doesn't work out that way. No, I'll probably be punished for being able to live a semi-happy life for the past month. That would sound more like me.

The thought of trying to sleep didn't even cross my mind.

At six a.m., I went downstairs to clean, something I had neglected doing for quite a while. There wasn't much to do, considering Esme cleaned the house daily, but I still did as much as possible. I dusted the surfaces that needed dusting, I swept the floors, then I got a load of towels washing in the washer. By the time I had finished that, it was nearly 6:30, and I decided to start on breakfast. I shook my head at my own stupidity as I decided what to make for breakfast. I decided with the classic eggs, bacon, and sausage. A side of toast as well.

I cracked twelve eggs into a mixing bowl and wondered, while stirring, if it would be enough. Emmett _did_ eat a lot after all. I decided it would have to be, considering there weren't anymore eggs to cook. I worked quietly, quickly, but precisely, a skill you are forced to learn when you live like me. I wanted to be done by seven, and be out of the house by 7:30, if not earlier. I didn't want anybody seeing me leave, and try to stop me. Or try to accompany me.

I was laying the food out on the table by 6:54, and immediately headed upstairs afterwards. I grabbed a pair of gray skinnies and a teal scoop neck and pulled them on quickly before grabbing my gray jacket, and pulling that on, too. I scalded myself again, I had gotten used to not wearing sleeves. I considered slapping myself, but decided against it, I wouldn't of actually hurt myself anyways. I placed a note on the table that had my cell number, and that I had left to run a couple of errands. I was walking down the driveway by 7:21, and hadn't awakened a soul.

I was glad that I wasn't low on birth control, because I was definitely not planning on leaving town, and I can imagine that in a small place like this, rumors spread quickly. And the fact that the new kid was not only sexually active, but on the pill, wasn't a great way to start out. Though, I wasn't planning on staying that long.

First stop was the only pharmacy in town, named none other than, _Forks Pharmacy _to pick up some gauze, anti-bacterial cream, and medical tape. I got a bottle of Tylenol and Ibuprofen also, because I had forgotten to check those, and I didn't want to be caught without pain medication. The lady at the counter looked curious, but tried to hide it. I didn't lead on that I knew she was curious, but I gave her an answer anyways, and it was the truth.

"My first-aid kit is getting low, I haven't checked it in a while and realized I needed some things." I said nonchalantly. She smiled and nodded while ringing up my purchase, she put my stuff in a plastic bag as I laid down a twenty dollar to cover the $17.04 I owed, and told her to keep the change.

I then walked to the small music store, and picked up some extra guitar strings, because music was my one escape, and I just couldn't deal with the thought of being stuck in yet another basement, bored and lonely, while looking at my poor guitar with a broken 'D' string that I couldn't fix because I was too stupid to buy extra strings.

I was slowly returning back into my old self, and I was hating every moment of it.

(EPOV)

Bella had been acting differently since whatever happened with the punching bag made her run off. Something had taken over her, and she started going at it on the punching bag. Of course, Emmett and his dumb-ass self was laughing up until she ran off, because he was oblivious to her change in demeanor. Her change in expression.

Her face became concentrated and her eyes were angry. Her fists were punching faster,

harder. And if you looked deeper in her eyes, you could see that Bella was confused and scared. Very scared. She didn't know why she was angry, I think that's why she was scared. I don't know, I'm probably wrong.

I waited for her to come back downstairs. I wanted to make sure she was okay. She didn't come down until dinner, and even then she was silent. She wasn't even really there, I mean, physically, she was sitting there, eating , but mentally, she was trapped inside her mind, thinking. It was obvious that no one noticed the change in her but me.

I decided to leave Bella alone tonight, hoping she would get out of this and not go back to her old self.

I slept restlessly. I had spoiled myself the night before by sleeping with Bella in my arms. Tonight, a pillow was doing a weak job as a replacement. My personal, and apparently lonely worries weren't helping a thing in the whole sleep department. I hugged my pillow tighter and rolled over to my other side, and thought about what would happen if Bella were to go back to being as close to emotionless as one can be. I shivered and shied away from the thought. That wouldn't happen.

I wouldn't allow it.

One thing that I had noticed about Bella, was that when she was remembering her past, or trying to be emotionless, she became about ten times more sarcastic. She was hiding behind her sarcasm, and I was pretty sure that that was unhealthy.

By 5:45 I had gotten maybe thirty minutes of sleep, and I wondered how Bella did it. She had told me about how she can't sleep at nights, and that she had a theory as to why, but when I asked her about the theory, she slyly changed the subject. So slyly that I didn't even notice it until an hour later when I was thinking over the conversation.

I felt like I was going to pass out at any given moment, but I knew that if I tried to sleep, thoughts would fill my mind to high that I wondered if my head would actually explode. I heard Bella leaver her room at around six. I wondered exactly what she was doing, so I followed behind her, making sure she didn't see nor hear me.

I took in her appearance, she hadn't changed since last night, and she didn't have bed-head. Though her hair was pretty rustled about, it looked more like she had just ran her hand through her hair a lot. It was obvious that she didn't even attempt to sleep last night, and I knew that she had been thinking a lot more than I had last night.

I watched from a hiding place as she cleaned, trying to figure her out, she hadn't cleaned since her first week here. That much I knew. I'll admit, I felt like a major creeper stalking her about the house, but I was curious. I headed upstairs as she started making breakfast, I needed to think.

I knew for a fact that Bella hadn't gotten over whatever happened yesterday. If anything, she had gotten worse. I decided I would go back downstairs and talk to her alone, but when I got downstairs, she was gone. Leaving a note on the table that said she had left to run a few errands, giving us her cell number just in case we needed to call her.

I thought that over for a little bit, what kind of errands would she need to run? Maybe returning Christmas presents she didn't like? No, she wouldn't do that, she would be afraid she would hurt somebody's feelings. Getting groceries? No, Esme went shopping the day before yesterday.

The truth was, I didn't know what she was doing. But I had a horrible, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I knew that things were about to change for the worse.

I was going to wait for her. I was going to talk to her, try to figure out what her problem was, so I sat on the front porch and waited. An hour later, I heard the front door open behind me.

"Edward?" My father asked. "What are you doing?"

I thought quickly. I wasn't sure I should tell him about Bella yet, I needed to make sure it wasn't just lack of sleep first, just my imagination. Yeah, wouldn't that be great.

"I didn't sleep well last night and hoped the fresh air would help clear my head." There, it wasn't a lie, but wasn't the whole truth. See, I could be clever.

He looked at me closer before nodding. "Okay, just don't fall asleep out here. I'll see you this evening." He said before patting my head and going off towards the garage. I wanted to hit him.

He didn't even bring up Bella. If I had left that early in the morning to 'run errands' he'd be all over me, driving through town until he found me. He didn't say anything about how there was just breakfast sitting on the table waiting for him, and his house was nearly spotless. He didn't even ask me to thank Bella for him.

I didn't understand it. Yeah, maybe I was being a bit nosy about Bella. Yeah, maybe I was being a bit protective. But, from what Bella has told me, and from what I've picked up on my own, it's about damn time somebody cared for her. I might only be fifteen, I might not have a lot of experience in life, but I wasn't stupid, and Bella needed someone that wouldn't give up on her.

And since obviously no one else was going to take on the responsibility, I'd do it.

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**AN: I like it, I don't know. Now, I know I promised it wouldn't take as long for a new update, but when I made that promise I wasn't expecting my mom to get this new camping fettish and decide I was not going to be home for more than three days in over a month. I had a majority of this chapter written for a while, but I never had any internet to post it, or time to finish it. Anyways, this is the longest chapter in a while, though it's not as long as I wanted it. But whatevs, eh? The title of this chapter is based on the lyrics of that song, not the title of it, if you want to understand it, look it up. It's by Meg and Dia. Thank you for all of the reviews, alerts, just for reading, it's very much appreciated. Please Review! I love them more than I love making up excuses.  
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**I would like to go ahead and say R.I.P Daddy's Little Cannibal. Your' stories were phenomenal, and when I heard the horrible news, I cried. I don't do that often, and I didn't even know you. You were and are definately a FanFiction legend, and will continue to be for how ever long this fanfiction deal lasts. I hope you are looking down on us from heaven.**


	13. Blind Crush

**Disclaimer: **

**Disclaimer: We all know I don't own a thing.**

**AN: Dear readers, I don't even have an excuse for not updating in forever. I mean, yeah, I've been going through some deep stuff lately, but honestly. Months without an update? I don't know. I can say that I am so immensely sorry for not updating in forever, and I hope that this extra long chapter might make up for it, just a little bit. Thank you for staying with me. I sure as hell don't deserve it.**

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(BPOV)

After leaving the music store, I realized I really had nothing else to do and that I had already been gone for about an hour and a half and, considering the fact it would take me about thirty minutes to get back to the house, I decided to go on and head in that direction. I didn't know what I was going to do once I got back, maybe play a little music, or write something. I thought about it the entire walk back home, no, back to the Cullen house. Not home. Never home.

By the time I was making my way up the long driveway, I had decided to just lay in bed and try to sleep. I was feeling exhausted after being up for over twenty-four hours and then trekking around town, maybe I could get some actual sleep. When I made it to the front lawn, after about five minutes of walking, I noticed a figure sitting on the porch, leaning against one of the columns near the steps. As I got closer, I realized it was Edward and he was sleeping, lips parted slightly and brow furrowed. He was still in his pajamas, a pair of blue-plaid flannel pants with a green thermal and a black hoodie over it, his always untamed hair even messier than usual. I couldn't deny it, he was gorgeous.

I wondered if he had slept-walked out here, and wondered if I should wake him or not. If I did, he would try to hold a conversation with me, which is not what I really wanted right now, but if I didn't, he would, no doubt, get sick again. I mentally growled in frustration, shaking his shoulder slightly, causing him to awake with a start. "Bella, you're here. Where'd you go?" He asked, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly, trying to wake himself up.

"Uh, I had to go pay my cell phone bill." I lied quickly. Where as I was distancing myself from them, I still didn't them to think I was getting first-aid supplies because I thought they were going to hurt me. He nodded, standing up, and I turned and started heading inside, avoiding the conversation I knew was coming, but as I started to head up the stairs, he grabbed my arm and turned me around, scaring me in the process, though I didn't let it show, and looked at me hard for a little bit.

"No, not again." He said sternly, looking me square in the eyes. "You're not closing off from us again." He had an undertone of pleading in his eyes, though you could barely see it.

"I…I…you don't understand." I stuttered, due to the confrontation. And the surprise that he knew me well enough to know what was going on in my mind. It was true, he didn'tunderstand, he didn't get why I _had _to do this.

"Then make me understand, Bella, please?" He nearly begged, his hand on my arm becoming gentle, changing from being a way to stop me, to a sign of comfort. I bit my lip, looking away, before telling him to follow me and walking back out the front door. He slyly slid his hand down my arm and held my hand as I brought him into the garage, where Emmett had hung up that fucking punching bag. I felt kind of awkward, not knowing how to start.

"Listen, Edward, I'm not sure you can understand." I said, realizing that he might just get confused by the whole prospect of why I couldn't get close to he and his family.

"Explain it to me, then we'll know." He offered, still not letting go of my hand. The part that scared me was that I was _glad_ he didn't let go, I thoroughly enjoyed my hand being in his. _I'm in way over my head_.

"Here's the deal, kid. Whereas your family may not hurt me, odds are, the next family I get shipped off to probably will, and knowing the system like I do, that will probably be soon. I'm getting attached to you guys, and that just means another blow to what's left of my heart when my social worker moves me for any random reason. That's why I can't just relax and let my guard down completely with your family, I'm probably out of here in a few weeks and then I never see you again, and I'm just a girl who lived with you for a month or two." I explained fervently, hoping he'd understand.

"You don't know that you're leaving soon, the whole family loves you entirely, what if mom and dad decide to adopt you?" He said in a knowing voice.

"Ah! No, don't do that. Don't say that. You can't. That's how hopes get high, and when hopes get high, they always have to crash." I told him, shaking my head. He looked at me desperately, like he wanted _me_ to understand something. It was quiet for a few minutes.

"Fine, I'll lay off of it. But, Bella, there's no way I'd…we'd be able to forget about you, like I said, everyone loves you." He tried to convince me, but I really wasn't buying it, love was a fickle thing. My parents had told me countless times they loved me, and then they threw me out into the world all a-fucking-lone at the age of twelve. "Why do you say it like that? 'Shipped off ' instead of 'moved' or 'relocated' or something?" He asked, after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Because that's what it feels like, most everyone I meet makes me feel like an object." I said quietly, my fatigue from earlier coming back to me. Edward must of noticed, because he sat us down on a bench near the wall, still holding my hand. He squeezed it, and told me I wasn't an object; I gave him a smile and squeezed his hand back and he smiled at me. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, obviously tired. "Why are you so tired?" I asked him suspiciously.

I watched as a light pink colored his cheeks, and wanted to laugh at the sheer cuteness of that one unintentional act. "I don't know, just didn't sleep well." He lied, rather obviously. "That breakfast you made was kick ass by the way." He changed the subject, causing me to smile. I wouldn't call him out on it, no matter how cute that blush was. After a few more minutes of comfortable silence, we decided we should probably go inside, before awkward questions from his family started arising. When we got in, we noticed the house was silent. Everyone was still asleep.

We decided to go up to his room, due to the fact that he had a killer sound system, and music sounded perfect right about now. I dropped my messenger bag with my first aid supplies in my room before continuing on to his. After he had popped in a mix-tape, a real mix-tape in cassette form and all, we sat on the floor with a Chess board in between us, playing absentmindedly. "What's your favorite board game?" He asked as I took one of his pawns.

"Huh, probably Mouse Trap." I answered as he captured one of my knights. He laughed and looked at me.

"Seriously? I haven't heard of that game since I was little." He smiled, shaking his head as I took his bishop.

"I don't know, I like watching the mouse trap work, that was the only reason I played, was to watch it." I shrugged. "What about you? What's your favorite board game?"

"Apples to Apples." He replied immediately, and I nodded appreciatively, agreeing with his choice. I felt his eyes on me as I captured his queen. "What are you going to do?" He asked, and the way he asked it made me know he wasn't talking about Chess.

I thought for a little bit, twirling his captured queen in between my fingers. "I don't know. I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up when Mrs. Harks tells me they're moving me." I said thoughtfully, sadly. I might be able to distance myself from the rest of this family, but not Edward. He was the closest friend I had had in a while, and even if I could manage it, it didn't appear he would allow me to, anyway. I went over to sit on the couch as Edward captured my king, ending the game.

"Hey," He said, getting up to sit beside me. "How do you even know they'll move you? They might not, I really think Carlisle and Esme are planning on adopting you." He said, trying to make me feel better. I wanted to believe that they would adopt me, too, but I just really couldn't. So I just laid my head back against the back of the couch and closed my eyes. Emotional exhaustion was intermingling with my physical exhaustion, and I really couldn't stay awake much longer. Sleep wouldn't come to me though, even after ten minutes of lying there, absolutely spent, my brain wouldn't just shut the fuck up.

I felt a pair of lean, but strong arms slide around my waist, and my tense muscles immediately relaxed, allowing me to drift into a peaceful sleep.

(EPOV)

"How do you even know they'll move you? They might not, I really think Carlisle and Esme are planning on adopting you." I tried to reassure her. I wasn't lying, I'd heard Carlisle and Esme talking many a time about how they really didn't want to send Bella back out into the world alone. I saw the doubt cross her features before she closed her eyes, leaning her head against the back of the couch. I watched her for a few minutes, her brow was slightly furrowed, like she was thinking, and I got the urge to smooth it out with my fingers, but I held myself back.

Though Bella had allowed me to hold her hand throughout our entire conversation, I still wanted to be cautious with how much I touched her. She had been hurt in ways I didn't want to imagine by men, and I understood why she was limited with touching. I had to do things slowly, not just randomly touch her, I had to ease into it.

After about ten minutes of Bella trying to sleep, and me, being the stalker I am, watching her, I heard a small growl in exasperation. She had told me before that the reason she could never fall asleep was because her mind wouldn't shut up and let her rest in peace. But, she had slept rather well the night before last, and, not to be arrogant or anything, I wondered, hopefully, if that had anything to do with me. I decided to test it out.

I moved closer to her, stirring the couch purposely so she would know I was getting closer, before slowly sliding my arms around her waist. When she immediately relaxed into me, instead of screaming and jumping away, I smiled the widest grin I thought my face could take. Her even breathing told me she was asleep, and I soon slipped into unconsciousness as well.

(APOV)

I woke up at eleven A.M. to a text from dad, saying to check on Edward and make sure he didn't fall asleep on the front porch. I, mildly confused, got up and threw a hoodie on before heading downstairs and opening the front door. After seeing no Edward, I texted dad back, saying he wasn't out there before going into the kitchen to grab something to eat.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a big breakfast waiting for me, before realizing that mom was still asleep, which meant that Bella had more than likely made the meal. I sighed, if Bella had made the meal, that meant she was receding back into her shell, which would be good for no one. I wasn't exactly hungry anymore, but I still made a small plate and put it in the microwave, unless she got offended by me not eating the food she prepared.

As I went to sit on the counter, I noticed a note from Bella saying she was out, doing a few errands. She left her cell number, and that was it. No explanation of where she was, or what she was doing. Just plain and simple. It came to me that that was probably the reason Edward was outside. The kid wasn't fooling anyone, it was obvious he was crushing hard. I decided to go on up to his room to check on him, see if he had left after Bella, or just gone up to his room after a couple of hours of her not coming back.

I opened his door to the soft sounds 'Suicide Medicine' by Rocky Votolato emanating softly from Edward's high-price stereo system. When I looked away from the stereo, my eyes fell immediately to the couch to see the sweetest sight. Edward was leaning against the corner of the couch, with Bella in his arms, head on Edward's chest. They were sleeping soundlessly, both looking extremely exhausted, I quickly and quietly shut the door, letting them have their moment.

I texted dad back, telling him Edward was up in his room, asleep. That's when another thought came to me, why was dad so concerned for Edward falling asleep on the front porch, when Bella was the one walking around a town she didn't even know, all alone?

(BPOV)

I awoke with a start as the tape ended, turning the radio on full blast, and felt Edward jump behind me. He reached onto his side table and pressed a button on a remote and the noise instantly stopped. We both groaned and laid back down simultaneously, causing us both to laugh slightly. "What time is it?" Edward asked through a yawn. I reached into my pocket and pulled my phone out, 12:48. I showed it to him, and he rubbed a hand over his face. "We should probably get up before everyone thinks we died." At my nod, we both got up and stretched before heading downstairs.

We went into the kitchen, Edward claiming he hadn't eaten anything since last night, and I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad that he hadn't eaten any of the breakfast I had made. Of course, by the time we got in there, all of the food was gone, and the dishes washed by Esme, no doubt. Edward grabbed two bowls and the cereal while I got out the milk and two spoons, and we ate our Lucky Charms in a comfortable silence.

Just because I wasn't showing it, didn't mean I wasn't afraid. I was scared out of my wits. I had gone and gotten myself attached to someone and was far too deep to pull out now. And, sure, I could stay with these people for over a year even, but I didn't really see that happening, and even if it did, I would have to leave eventually. But, damn it, can't I just enjoy a bit of happiness from the present without letting the past or future come in and taint it? Other people get to be happy, why not me? If not even just for a few months, I thought I at least deserved that much. So, I would enjoy my stay in the Cullen household for however long I was here, and whenever I was forced to uproot, well, I'd just have to take the blow, because there really wasn't much else I could do. I'd deal with it when the time came, with whatever solution I could. Rational or irrational.

I finished my cereal and got up to wash it in the sink, Edward following close behind me. When both of our bowls were dried and put up, he leaned against the counter, and I hopped up onto the island opposite of him, looking at him expectantly. "What do you want to do today?" He asked, crossing his arms in front of him loosely.

I shrugged. "I don't know, you pick." I suggested. I was never a very decisive person, I kind of just go with the flow, let other people make the decisions. He looked up in thought, before a broad grin lit up his face.

"I have the most amazingly perfect idea, but it requires us going to the park. Are you in?" He asked so excitedly that I knew whatever he was thinking had to be good. I readily agreed and he told me to go get dressed in all black and meet him in the foyer. I went up to my room and quickly changed into a pair of black skinnies with a black thermal and pulled a black hoodie over it. I threw on my black high tops before walking downstairs to find Edward with a backpack in his hand. At my inquiring look, he told me he'd show me later. We walked into the living room to find Esme watching Rose and Emmett playing Guitar Hero while Alice and Jasper waited for their turn. When we walked in, the three watching the game turned to us, and Alice gave us a knowing smile that I wasn't sure I wanted to know the reasoning behind. "Mom, can you give Bella and I a ride to the park?" Edward asked.

Before Esme could speak, however, Alice cut in. "I'll take them, I have to run to the store, anyways." She volunteered almost excitedly, and she smiled innocently when Edward and I gave her a bizarre look. She told us she'd meet us in her car in five minutes, so Edward and I said bye to everyone and left. As soon as we were out the front door, I turned to Edward. "What's in the bag?"

"I'll show you when we get to Alice's car." He replied, and once we arrived at her yellow Porsche, he took his backpack off and pulled out an eye black pen and smiled mischievously. "May I?" He asked, gesturing towards my face with the paint-like substance. I smiled, too, knowing whatever he had in store was going to be good, and nodded. After he put the customary lines under my eyes, he gave me the pen and I raised onto my tiptoes slightly while he bent down a little and painted a jagged line down the middle of his face, coloring in the right half of it. He looked in Alice's side mirror and laughed happily, pulling a wipe out of his backpack, saying he had a better idea and wiped the paint from under my eyes so he could restart.

When he was done, I looked into Alice's side mirror to see a superhero mask painted on the top half of my face. "Whatever we're about to do, is going to be totally bad ass." I said, right as Alice walked into the garage. She paused and looked at our faces before doubling over with laughter, after a few minutes of us all laughing, we got into the car and pulled out of the garage.

"So, what are you two up to?" She asked as we pulled onto the road in front of their house.

"That, Alice, is a surprise." Edward said dramatically, causing her to scoff. I noticed that Alice kept looking between Edward and I in the rearview mirror, but didn't ask, somewhat afraid of what she might say. She pulled in front of the park, telling us to call her when we were ready to leave and we got out, Edward grabbed my hand and lead me over to a large tree after Alice had driven off. We sat down beneath it and Edward opened his bag again, this time pulling out two Nerf guns, two black beanies, and what had to be a hundred Nerf bullets. "Today, we are ninjas" Edward said darkly, with a broad grin on his face.

He gave me a gun, beanie, and a bag to hold bullets that I tied to a belt loop before he explained. "As I said, we're ninjas. It is our mission to shoot as many people as possible. You get a point for each person. If they catch you before you shoot, it doesn't count." He gave me a Toy Story watch that looked like it was taken from a box of cereal, and put on his own Lion King watch. "There's an alarm set. Meet back here in twenty minutes." He said as he attached his bag of bullets to his pants. I laughed.

"This has got to be the best idea I have ever heard." I told him as I stood up. "What does the winner get?" I questioned as I loaded up my gun with the eight bullets that it could hold.

He thought for a few minutes before his face brightened. "Loser has to write the winner a song with his or her preferred instrument." He said with a raised brow, at my nod he said. "Of course, in this case, the instrument will be a guitar." He said surely.

"You know how to play guitar?" I teased before walking away. I was about to win this thing, hands down.

After five minutes I was getting the hang of things, and was doing all kind of crazy ninja moves. I had found a hiding spot that people tended to walk by a lot, and was currently crouching behind the bush, waiting for my next victim. I pumped the gun as I saw a business man walking by, a cigarette in his hand, and a brief case in the other. I was glad this thing was semi-automatic, because I had an amazing idea. When he walked by, I aimed and shot, hitting the cig first shot and successfully breaking it in half. I then rolled out from behind the bush and landed on one knee and shot at the confused man, hitting him in the forehead, before rolling again to another bush a foot away and hiding behind it. The man, now irritable, walked towards the bush, but as he got near the back of it, I stood up, ducking so that I was still hidden by the bush, and ran around to the other side. When I heard him searching through the bush, thinking I had climbed in it, I ran over to the bush I was behind first.

After another two minutes of his search for me, he looked around with a half suspicious, half worried look and walked away swiftly, and I heard him mutter. "Damn ninjas." and I had to cover up my laugh as I spotted my next victim. Number seventeen, here I come.

---

When my little toy watch beeped, I collected all of the stray bullets and headed towards the large tree, a short walk away. I totally had this in the bag, Edward was going down. I hadn't ever really noticed how competitive I was until this instant, but I liked it. When I arrived, Edward was behind it, leaning against the trunk with a smug look on his face that I was sure rivaled my own quite nicely. "How many?" He asked, a smirk placed on his face.

"You first." I said, not really wanting to go first.

"At the count of three?" He countered. At my nod, he counted off with his fingers, and when his third finger went up…

"Thirty-three!" "Thirty-five!" We shouted simultaneously.

"Yes!" I shouted, pumping my fist in the air, a grin breaking out across my face.

"Noooo!" He yelled, dropping down on his knees, and looking up, as if he were shouting at the sky, causing us both to fall to the ground laughing.

And at that moment, I forgot about the past. I forgot about the future. And it was just Edward and I, having fun and being happy and completely care-free.

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**AN: So, there was a bit of angst at the beginning, but the last half, I thought, was just plain cute. I can safely say that there will be no more of Bella distancing herself from the Cullens for the reason of fear. But that doesn't mean the angst parade is over. Not nearly. Remember, she starts school soon, and we all know the kind of people that attend Forks High *cough cough* Lauren *cough* Jessica *cough* Mike *cough*. Sorry, bit of a cold. I haven't slept in forty hours, in order to get this chapter, and a chapter for my other story written, so I didn't go back through and edit it. Sorry. Since I feel horrible about the hella long wait, I am going to stop writing my non-fanfiction story (part of the reason I haven't updated) until I get a good amount of chapters posted. I would like to give a shoutout to BellaSwanxEdwardCullen for just being awesome. Also, if you can make banners, and wouldn't mind making one(or two) for me, please say so in a review. Also, Carlisle, hmm, what's up with him? Tell me your guesses in a review.  
Please Review! You can all flame me to hell and back and threaten me with torches and thumbscrews and the Cruciatus curse for not updating.  
And how could anyone resist sending some good old death threats to an unfaithful writer?**


	14. Down And Out

**Disclaimer: A thing, I do not own. Own do I thing a not. I do thing own not a. Not own a thing, do I?**

**WARNING: It gets a little graphic in the last part of the chapter, I'm pretty sure you can handle it, but I don't have a desire to get yelled at, so...  
**

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(EPOV)

"So, when are you going to start writing my song?" Bella asked with a poorly concealed grin. We were currently sitting on the sidewalk Indian style, clearly in people's way, but not really giving half a damn, and waiting for Alice to come pick us up. Bella had seemed different the past fifteen minutes (since our all out laugh-fest). It was like she was lighter, like a hundred pounds had lifted from her shoulders and flown away for a little while. She was smiling and laughing a lot which caused me to smile.

"I don't really remember that part in the agreement." I teased, sticking my nose up in the air in mock-defiance.

She scoffed. "Yeah right, nice try." She said, pushing my shoulder lightly. Little did she know that I kind of cheated in when I made the deal with her, considering I had already started writing one.

"By the way, I forgot to tell you. I saw that wicked ninja move you pulled on the old guy. You deserved to win just for that." I quickly changed the subject.

"Honestly, that was probably the coolest thing I've ever done." She said with a sigh and a small smile. We heard the loud music before we saw Alice's car, and we turned just in time to see the speeding car screech into place, right in front of the Oak tree. She rolled down the window and smiled, looking between Bella and I with a half excited, half knowing look. I turned away, wondering what had placed that look on her face before grabbing my backpack and standing up, offering a hand to help Bella up which she took with a smile and a thank you. We climbed into the car quickly and I saw Alice's lips move, but couldn't hear what she was saying. She turned the music down.

"Am I allowed to know what you guys were doing now?" She restated her question. After a small laugh I explained what we had been doing for the past hour. When I was finished, she stared at me for a good fifteen seconds before busting out laughing.

"Who came up with that? That's amazing!" She exclaimed, turning into the driveway. I simply shrugged since her mind had obviously gone elsewhere by the glazed look in her eyes. She did that way too often, probably due to the fact that she has the attention span of a goldfish.

As we walked in, we were immediately lead into the living room by Emmett, asking us if we'd play video games with him since everyone else got bored after four hours of playing. "I've never played Guitar Hero before." Bella stated as she looked at the guitar curiously. Emmett gawked at her, causing her to blush.

"What? I was shoved into CHINS when I was twelve, and I'm a girl, so I never really had a desire for video games before that." She shrugged, defending herself. Though I didn't let it show, I was kind of awed at the fact that she talked about going to Juvie that casually. She still hadn't told any of us what had exactly made her parents go to the extremes of putting her in such a program, and we all knew better than to ask. Well, except Emmett, but he's just a dumb ass, so there's really no shock there.

"Fine, fair enough, grab a guitar and Eddie-bear and I will teach you how to play one of the best video games ever created." Emmett smiled and pulled the practice section up on the game. Knowing Emmett, we were sure to be here for a couple of hours, so I just settled into the couch and watched Emmett's giddy self teach a concentrated Bella how to play one of the best video games ever created.

---

(BPOV)

I stood in front of the mirror, twitchy and nervous, looking at my outfit and making sure that it was not exactly appealing. Simple jeans, a layered thermal and t-shirt combo deal, black high tops, and my nice, worn down gray knit jacket to top it all off. My hair was simply brushed, down, nothing special, and no make-up, since my bruises were completely gone. I took a deep breath, I was in no possible way ready for this.

It had been a week since mine and Edward's day at the park, and after that day, it was all about getting ready to go back to school. My stomach churned at the thought. I hadn't been to a public school since I left the Swan house and I really had no desire to go back. I had been on edge all week no matter how much Guitar Hero Emmett threw at me, or how much Edward reassured me. I had had to take a test on Thursday to tell the school where I was academically in order for them to situate me in the right classes.

I walked out of the bathroom, looking at the clock to see that it was only 6:45 and that I still had forty-five minutes until Jasper, Emmett, Edward, and I loaded up into Em's Jeep and speed down to the jailhouse also known as Forks High School. I looked at my bed longingly, I hadn't gotten more than two hours of sleep over the past three days, and more than ten the entire week.

So, basically, I felt like a zombie.

I knew that no one else was up, considering Edward got up at seven, Carlisle worked a night shift last night, and Em and Jasper didn't get up until about fifteen minutes before we had to leave. Alice and Rose were gathering as much sleep as they could, since, starting in a week, they would be forced to sleep on a moving bus at almost all times. I had positively nothing to do for the next half hour, so I decided to just play around with the guitar. Edward had yet to play the song that he had written for me for our bet, claiming it wasn't quite right yet, but I could heat tidbits of sound coming from his room every now and then that came from his eighty-eight key keyboard.

I looked at the clock irately, as much as I was dreading the upcoming day, I wanted to start it already so that it could just be finished. It was 7:21 which meant that we would be leaving in about ten minutes, my stomach dropped to my toes. I took back that last comment, I could really just wait here with my guitar for a few more hours. Or days. No rush, honestly. I swallowed hard and looked at myself in the mirror one more time before grabbing my full backpack and slinging it over my shoulder, walking as slowly as I could without looking like a complete idiot. I reached the living room way too quickly.

Esme was sitting there, watching the morning news, and I could hear Edward moving around in the kitchen. Esme looked up at me, smiling sympathetically, and I attempted to smile back, but it didn't quite work. "Don't you worry, everything will be just fine." She told me gently, standing up to give me a hug. I nodded. I mean, really, it was just school, right? Ha, what could a bunch of teenagers do under the nose of a teacher that was worse than what other people had done to me in the past? Yeah, not much. I relaxed a bit, but still, I didn't really like people. And I was being forced to be surrounded by them for about seven hours a day. _Shit_.

Jasper and Emmett came down, grabbed about six pancakes each, opting to eat them plain on the way to school, since I had to get there early to get my schedule and locker and all that good stuff. We loaded into the Jeep with all of it's complicated seat belting and sped off in the direction of the school. I wrung my wrists the entire five minutes it took to get there, and by the time I hopped out of the Jeep, they were aching like no other. Good idea, Bella, great job.

Emmett and Jasper walked off to a couple of guys that were hanging out around a truck while Edward and I made our way to the school office. We walked into the small, stuffy office and was greeted by a homely looking woman with red, frayed hair. She quickly welcomed me to the school and gave me three papers: My schedule, a map, and a slip to get signed by all of the teachers.

As we were walking out of the office and down the hallway that lead to my locker, I looked over my schedule. Carlisle hadn't been able to match my schedule with Edward's, but we did have three periods together, first, lunch, and sixth. That left me nearly defenseless for four periods. Just lovely. "I'm sure it won't be too bad, the people here aren't…extremely awful." Edward tried to assure me, but his hesitation made me groan mentally. I put away the books I wouldn't need until after lunch and kept the rest in my backpack, before Edward lead me in the direction of our first class, English. We were still kind of early, so most of the seats were empty. Edward took my backpack and went to the back corner of the room, putting my backpack on the desk in the corner with him sitting beside me. I turned to the teacher and walked up to his desk.

"Uh, I'm new. I was told to get this signed?" I told him awkwardly, handing him the slip. He smiled warmly and nodded. "Of course, Isabella Swan, correct?" He asked, signing the slip for me before handing it back. I cringed slightly at the mention of my last name. "Uh, yes sir, but call me Bella." I corrected, and at his nod, turned and walked to the back of the class, taking my seat and placing my backpack on the floor, grabbing the things I'd need for the class out of it first. As the class started to fill up, it was rather easy to see who I would need to avoid, just by their appearance.

The class passed quickly, considering we were learning something I had already gone over, so I had spent the time making a mental list of who in this class I would need to avoid: First, blondie up front with the pointed nose that makes her look ten times more stuck up than the rest of her already does. Second, guy with a baby face, straight brown hair that flips on the bottom, and what looks like a permanent expression of smugness covering his face. Third, another guy with a slightly less cute baby face, and blonde hair who appears to be first guys secret admirer. The rest of the people in here looked rather normal, but those three were on my high alert list.

When class was over, Edward told me his next class was close to mine, so he could walk me over. I smiled in relief, packing my things up and following him out the door. On the way there, I asked him about the people I had put on my list. "Ah, yes, the first would be Lauren, and, even though she's only a sophomore, she believes she runs the school because she was chosen as co-captain on the cheerleading squad. She, of course, humbles herself up when someone higher than her on the Social Food Chain is around, though. The second would be Alec, her boyfriend, he's your average popular guy. Quarterback, point guard, catcher, and a complete asshole. The third would be Mike, whom also plays football, basketball, and baseball, but is not quite as good or popular as Alec. He is basically Alec's little puppy." He explained, shaking his head with a smile.

I nodded, none of what he said surprised me in the least. When we got to the History classroom, Edward told me the quickest way to get to Spanish and that it was right beside the Cafeteria. I thanked him and told him I'd see him later before taking a deep breath and walking into the classroom alone. I walked straight to the teacher's desk, introduced myself and got my paper signed before taking a seat in the second row, next to a window. At least I wasn't _completely_ surrounded by people. I listened half-heartedly as Mr. whatever-his-name-was talked about the Black Death, again. Honestly, I'm pretty sure everyone has heard enough about the Plague already, it was caused by fleas, killed a third of Europe's population, and everyone, as always, blamed the Jews for it. We get it.

History passed quickly and I found myself packing my things up before the bell had rung, and out of my seat a second before anyone else. I started on the path to Spanish class that Edward had showed me when I realized how crowded the halls were. I attempted to stay as close to the wall as possible, but still managed to get into people's way somehow. I, finally, made it safely inside the classroom, walking away from the chaotic hallway with only a bruise on my shin from someone accidentally kicking me. I got my slip signed and walked to the back of the class, managing to get a corner seat this time. A pale girl with extremely curly brown hair and a heavily made-up face sat next to me, looking at me and then double-taking, a smile spreading across her face. Not really a friendly one at that. _Fuck my life._

"You must be Isabella, the new girl. I'm Jess." She introduced herself, arrogance literally rolling off of her.

"Eh, Bella, but yeah, I'm new." I shrugged indifferently, hoping she would leave me alone and just let me be.

"You're Edward's little sister, right?" She asked, though it sounded more like a loaded question.

"The Cullen's are Fostering me, we're not related." She already knew this, she was really asking just how close Edward and I were. The idea of her being with Edward made me want to laugh, I didn't think that Edward would go for someone like her. She looked like she might be one of Lauren's cronies. I take it she didn't like my answer, since she didn't talk to me the rest of class. When class let out, I headed towards the cafeteria, hoping I'd be able to spot Edward before I got my food, so I didn't have to do the whole awkward look-for-someone move at the end of the line. Lucky for me, I found him at the back of the line, waiting for his helping of the oh-so-delicious cafeteria food. I grabbed a tray and walked up behind him.

"Bella, how's it going so far?" He asked, poorly concealed concern covering his face. I smiled as I grabbed a chicken sandwich. "Fine, I talked to a Jess in Spanish class briefly, but that's just about the only thing of importance that has happened so far." I told him, grabbing a Cola before following him to a table with three people currently seated. His eyes widened when I was finished with my sentence. "Jess? Jessica Stanley?" He asked. I turned my hands palms up and shrugged, the gesture for 'I don't know'. "What'd she say?" He asked. I got the feeling he didn't like her.

"Just introduced herself, then asked if I was your little sister. When I told her you guys were just Fostering me she got quiet." I said, my awkwardness coming back now that we were in the presence of three people I didn't know. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Are we talking about Lauren's stalker? I mean…friend?" One of the guys sitting at the table asked, a smile on his face due to his 'mistake'. Edward nodded.

"Oh, I'd stay away from her, shawty." The other guy warned me. I must say, I was rather shocked at being called 'Shawty'.

"Man, shut up, you're not black." The first guy, who actually _was _black, teased him. "I'm Tyler." He introduced himself to me, offering me a hand though, at Edward's look, he quickly dropped and smiled instead. I gave him a thankful smile in return and introduced myself, which brought on the whole slew of introductions.

"I'm Ben." The other guy at the table said, offering a wave.

"And I'm Kate." The only other girl at the table introduced herself with a wide smile, looking between Edward and I. This was something that I had noticed was becoming rather popular between Alice and Rose, smile and looking between the two of us before winking, like they were in on a secret with us. Edward filled the semi-awkward silence that followed. "Where's Tanya and Angela?"

"Tanya texted me and said that Mr. Franklin was on another rant about how important math was and that they were on their way now." Kate informed Edward just as a few people entered the cafeteria, looking rather irritated. After getting their food, a tall brunette with glasses and a pale strawberry blonde made their way to our table, sitting down.

"Who started it this time, Tanya?" Tyler asked sympathetically.

The blonde spoke up. "Who else? Demetri Pista. I swear that dick just loves making everyone late for lunch. We all know that math is utterly useless, why must he state it every week? And you must be Bella?" Tanya said, changing subjects so quickly that my I literally felt my head spin.

"Er, yeah." I said. I was surprised she had said Bella, and not Isabella, since that seemed to be who everyone knew me as around here. I guessed that Edward might of said something about me last semester or something.

"I'm Tanya, and this is Angela." She said, not giving Angela time to introduce herself, though she didn't really seem to care. I gave a small wave.

The next two periods, math and science, passed rather quickly and I was soon in P.E., waiting for my teams turn to play badminton, I had been lucky enough to be paired with someone that I at least slightly knew, Tyler. I was standing on the sidelines like everyone else, waiting for the current match to end. It was rather heated and had been going on for about ten minutes already. The birdie flew towards the side of the court, about two feet in front of me and I backed up quickly as the guy playing charged in my direction, attempting to hit it before it hit the ground. Unfortunately, he tripped, sending him into me, causing me to fall back with him on top of me.

I looked up and saw his blue eyes and all of a sudden, I wasn't at school anymore. I was in a basement, laying on a dirty, worn down mattress with some unshaven, clearly drunken man leaning on top of my naked body, his blue eyes unfocused. My chest was tightening, making it impossible to breathe and I felt cold, causing me to shiver. My stomach was churning horribly and it took everything I had to keep my lunch down. I could feel my heart racing, but my breathing wasn't keeping up with it, causing a weird jittery sensation in my chest. And I felt a scream erupt from my throat unknowingly. "Shh, girl, don't want to attract any neighbors." The drunken form of Matt told me, covering my mouth with his hand. When I bit his hand, a hard slap met my cheek, causing me to scream again.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice and reality started to slip back to me and when my eyes focused, I saw a very worried Jasper above me. "Breathe, honey. It's alright. Breathe." He soothed.

"I. Can't." I gasped, still frantic due to my lack of oxygen.

"It's okay. Breathe with me." He said, taking a deep breath. I tried to match his breaths and, eventually, my chest started to loosen. "Is it okay if I pick you up?" He asked. I didn't think I had the energy to sit up, let alone walk, so I nodded. I felt his arms slide under me and lift me up. I didn't close my eyes like they so desperately wanted. Every time I blinked I saw that drunken face. I didn't even care to look at my classmates concerned or freaked out faces, I just stared at the ceiling as Jasper talked to the gym coach before finally taking me out the door that lead to the parking lot.

"I'm going to take you home in the Jeep, and come back to get Edward and Emmett, okay?" I didn't really listen to what he was saying, I just stared at the gray, gray sky. I felt his pace speed up. He slid me into the backseat, where I lied down and stared at the gray ceiling. Don't close your eyes, just keep them open. "We're almost home, okay honey?" He said, his southern drawl coming out slightly in his panic. I didn't respond, my focus was on keeping my eyes open. I heard him talking, and I figured he was on the phone. Before I knew it, Jasper had opened the door and was picking me up again, but I wasn't expecting it this time, and I stiffened considerably. "Oh shit, right, sorry. Forgot to warn you." He apologized. I didn't relax. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." My stomach was churning again, and the effort it was taking me to not puke everywhere, took my focus away from keeping my eyes open.

It was all very, very difficult.

Soon, I was on the couch in the living room, voices all around me, but I didn't hear them. I was really focused on not throwing up. Esme ran in with a trash can and I grabbed it right before emptying my stomach. I heaved until there was nothing left, then heaved some more, before wiping my mouth on a wet wipe Esme had produced, throwing that into the disgusting trash can as well. I felt better, and that was something.

"Bella, are you okay? How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked, tone all doctor now.

"Eh…not good, not bad." I said as my mind started to clear. I closed my eyes. "I wantta sleep." I said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Okay, you want me to take you up to your room?" He asked gently. I nodded feebly. "Okay, I'm going to pick you up now, alright?" He asked, and at my affirmation, he picked me up. I was asleep before we reached the stairs.

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**AN: What'd you think? Oh, come on, I couldn't keep it light and happy forever, where's the fun in that? Don't tell me you would read a chapter where nothing dramatical happened and you wouldn't be like "What the hell?". So, in case you didn't know, Bella had a Panic Attack, and a really bad one at that, triggered by the position she was put in, and the eyes of the person, Demetri, that was laying on top of her. Oh yeah, I'm including all kinds of characters here, the Volturi, the Denali coven, hell, I might even throw in some of the nomads. Maybe part of the wolf pack. Maybe. Sorry for the wait, I had a major set back this week, and our internet currently is down, and I'm using (stealing) my neighbors wireless internet by sitting in their driveway at two in the morning in the freezing cold to post this for you guys, so be happy, eh? How was your Christmas? And if you don't celebrate Christmas, how was your holiday? Tell me in a review.  
Review! I love them more than my gnome, Balder, loves stabbing my annoying siblings with his pointy hat. (all him, he just uses my hand to control him)... ;]**


	15. Say It Ain't So

**Disclaimer: I on't-dey own-ey a ing-they**

**(P.S. I totally taught my four year old brother how to speak fluent pig-latin. How bad ass is that?)

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(EPOV)

As soon as the final bell rang, I was out of my seat and packing my backpack up. I wanted to know what Bella had thought of her first day, and how she was doing. She had seemed fine in science, so I wasn't worrying too much. I walked casually out to the parking lot, ignoring the unusually high amount of whispering as I made my way down the halls, stopping at my locker to put a few things away and such. As soon as I walked out the front door, I saw Jasper in the driver's seat of Emmett's jeep, and immediately got a bad feeling. The look on his face and the way his fingers were tapping impatiently on the steering wheel made me know that this afternoon was not going to be a good one. I all but sprinted to the door, throwing myself in the backseat, Jasper didn't even look at me. "Jasper, what's up?" I interrogated, all serious.

He didn't answer, instead, he yelled. "Where the hell is Emmett?!" Not. Good. I wondered if I should of picked up Bella on my way out of class, to get her here sooner, and felt kind of guilty at the fact that I hadn't. Emmett opened the door next to Jasper.

"What the shit do you think you're doing?" Emmett asked furiously. He didn't like our parent's driving his car, let alone his brother.

"Get in the damn car Emmett, we need to get home. Bella had some kind of breakdown and is in hysterics." Jasper muttered impatiently. My eyes widened at the same time Emmett's did and he ran around to the passenger side and flung himself into the seat. We were out of the parking lot before he could close his door.

My heart was racing, and I was afraid for Bella, but most of all, I was pissed. I _told_ him sending Bella to school was a bad idea, he _knew_ she wasn't ready for public school, and my damned father did it anyways. Determined that he knew what was best, though he hardly knew her. Hardy har har, oops, guess you were right Edward. Asshole.

We were pulling up to the house in six minutes, record timing, and jumping out of the car. We walked into the living room to see Esme and Carlisle sitting on the couch, talking quietly, and Rose and Alice sitting quietly on the floor. "What happened?" Emmett beat me to the question.

"Bella had a panic attack, triggered by Marcus Pista's son accidentally falling on top of her." He stated, a hint of confusion coloring his voice. Demetri Pista fell on top of Bella? A male character landed on top of Bella? No wonder she had a damned panic attack! The memories that had to evoke were horrifying to even think about. I couldn't control myself, I was beyond pissed. I was furious.

"I told you! I clearly stated it was a horrible idea to send her to school. She's scarred in more ways than you know. She isn't ready yet. You don't know her. I know her more than anybody else in this fu-lipping" I corrected myself quickly. "house, but please, don't listen to me, I'm just a teenager, what do I know?" I fumed, pacing around in front of my father. I knew the consequences to this yelling session were going to come soon, but at the moment, I wasn't rational.

"Edward! First off, you will _not_ talk to me like that. Do you hear me?" He demanded, not yelling as most parents would, just using a rather stern tone. I nodded curtly. "Secondly, it was just a panic attack. Yeah, their bad. They're terrifying for the one experiencing them, but it wasn't going to kill her, calm down." I clenched my jaw, that was such bullshit. When Rose had a panic attack two years ago, he was crazy with worry, and didn't let her leave his sight for a whole day and a half. I wasn't going to let him get away with this one. He had been doing little things all week with, about, or for Bella that was totally different than what he would of done for any of us other kids, and I didn't like it.

"Hm, just a panic attack? Were you thinking it was 'just a panic attack' when Rose was fifteen and we almost got in that car wreck? Because, I remember you tripping balls for about two days after that. What is up with you, dad?" Emmett got to it before I could, which might have been a good thing. I think one more outburst from me wouldn't of ended well.

Dad looked away. "That was different. I had never dealt with someone having a panic attack before." He responded quietly, a sharp look of sadness crossing his face before disappearing in a second.

"It's not just this. You allowed her to walk around a town she barely knows, by herself. But was worried enough to call me that Edward would fall asleep on the front porch." Alice butted in. We were all looking at him expectantly now, except Esme, who just looked sad.

"Listen, kids, I didn't want to tell you this, but you're kind of backing me into a corner here." He took a deep breath. "The reason I don't seem as…loving towards Bella is because," He paused, running a hand through his hair. "She can't get too attached to us." He finally blurted out. I closed my eyes, his words forcing the breath out of me. I immediately thought back to last week when I told Bella that mom and dad were thinking about adopting her. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

"What? You mean we're not…we're not going to adopt her?" Jasper whispered, his voice held more emotion than I was expecting.

"We can't. Her parent's never fully handed her over to the state. She is strictly a Foster kid, she can't be adopted." Carlisle explained, his voice somewhat strained. It was silent as everyone took in this new information. If we couldn't keep her, that means that, eventually, she will have to go back out into the world, alone and broken, with no chance of ever healing. How could someone even… A child…it didn't make sense. How could one's parent's do that to their child? No matter what she had done. It obviously hadn't been bad enough for her to get arrested, and I'd heard plenty of times about a known murderer's parent's risking jail time to keep their child safe in their house as they run from the cops.

I couldn't fathom the amount of hatred I felt towards the Swan's at that one moment.

"What do we do?" I asked, voice cracking, and not even worrying about Emmett ragging on me, because I know he wasn't that stupid. Surely, he had a plan. A plan besides keeping Bella from getting attached. Surely.

"I don't know." He told me, holding his face in his hands. For some reason, this answer didn't surprise me in the least. I just simply nodded. "I'm going up to my room." I told them all, grabbing my back pack and trudging up the stairs.

Bella was at the top, sitting there, leaning against the banister, completely devoid of emotion. She had heard every word. I continued to walk up the stairs, not showing any surprise when spotting Bella. When I got to the top, I put my backpack against the wall and sat down right next to her, not touching her, just in case that panic attack had really messed her up. We sat there for a little while, about ten minutes, listening to the little amount of noise that was coming from the living room.

I was sure my expression looked like a cheap imitation of hers'. Her face was completely blank, not an emotion crossing her eyes. It seemed like, if I nudged her so she wasn't leaning on the banister any longer, she would just simply fall. I had the blank face going, but I know I was feeling a mixture of negative emotions at the moment, and that they were all flying across my eyes. She stood up, and gestured for me to follow. I walked silently behind her till we reached my room. She looked at me, I guess asking for permission, before I simply opened it, motioned her in, and we stood in the doorway. She walked over to the couch, sitting on the floor in front of it instead, me, mimicking her.

"I didn't do anything." She said, leaving me completely and utterly confused. "My parent's, Charles and Renee Swan, they had me when they were very young. My mom found out she was pregnant with me at the age of fifteen. My dad had just turned sixteen. They got drunk at a party, and I was the result. They hardly knew each other." She explained. "They had their lives ahead of them. Renee wanted to become a teacher, Charlie wanted to work hard to get into the CIA. I came along, and suddenly, they didn't have dreams anymore. She studied and got her GED before dropping out of high school. Charlie got a job, finished high school a few months after I was born, then settled to become a police officer. He hated his job. They put up with me for twelve years before deciding they wanted their old life back." She finished with a shrug.

She was still emotionless. She said this all as if she was telling me the sky was blue. All factual.

I wanted to hug her, to try to maybe comfort her, just a little, but I didn't want to start another panic attack. So I just said a measly, "I'm sorry." She shrugged. I reached out and, oh so very cautiously, touched her shoulder. Nothing. No response. Good. "It's not fair." I tell her, and she nods slowly, agreeing with me.

I wanted her to yell, to scream, or even cry, anything but this emotionless body sitting in front of me.

I pulled her into a hug, and she just sat there. Eventually, her arms rose and wrapped around my waist, hugging me back lightly. "It's not fair." She repeated quietly, causing me to pull her closer to me. "I'm tired." She yawned, emphasizing her statement. I picked her up and pulled her onto the couch without a thought, positioning both of us to where we were comfortable, before wrapping my arms around her waist from behind as she laid her head on my chest. She fell asleep quickly, and I watched as the deep furrow that was carved into her brow slowly eased away. I watched as the stone cold mask that she had been wearing slowly turned soft and tranquil. I fell asleep soon after.

I awoke when my door opened, but to anyone that might have been watching me, I was still sleeping. I knew by the "Aww" that it was Alice, and that by the tapping I heard, she was probably texting Rose, because those two had been acting odd around Bella and I since Monday. I now realized that one of them must of somehow seen Bella and I sleeping on the couch that morning, as we were currently doing. Nosy sisters.

At the second "Aww", I knew that Rose had arrived, and I was wondering when they planned on waking us up like they were probably sent up to do. It was two minutes before they closed the door and knocked loudly on it, trying to seem innocent and as if they hadn't just been watching me sleep. I groaned, because even though I was awake, I did _not_ want to get up. Bella was stirring, and I shook her shoulder lightly, causing her to jolt awake, sitting upright quickly. I held my hands up and widened my eyes, hoping she wasn't angry with me or anything. She relaxed exponentially when she looked at me. "Sorry, Edward, bad dream." She explained, grabbing my hands and setting them back on my lap. Another loud rap came to the door.

"Wait a second, alright?" I called to Ali, who was sure to be behind that door with the biggest smile on her face, feeling like she's in on a secret or something. I stood up and stretched, offering Bella a hand and helping her up, before we both walked over to the door. I opened my door to see a positively beaming Alice and Rose.

I didn't understand why they were so happy, she would be gone way too soon anyways. Shipped off to another hell hole to be thrown around. Just like a fucking object. My sisters must have noticed the look on my face, because they didn't say anything besides informing us that dinner was ready before turning back down the hall. I now understood why Bella had been so hesitant to get close to us, because this shit was hard, and she knew it was going to end like this from the moment she stepped out of her social workers car. Probably even before that. She was a step ahead of me as we walked down the stairs. Bella informed me that she had to go to the bathroom before heading off in the opposite direction of the kitchen. I walked in to the family having a quiet discussion on how to break the news to Bella. I walked past them, getting a water out of the fridge.

"She already knows." I told them, taking a sip of the water before screwing back on the cap. The looked at me with mildly accusatory stares. "Hey, don't look at me. She was at the top of the stairs the entire time." I defended just as Bella walked in, acting like she hadn't heard what we were talking about. We all sat and ate the lasagna that Esme had prepared while everyone talked about their day, everyone skirting around the subject of Bella completely, as if she wasn't here. I swear, these people didn't have a damn clue. I turned to her and asked her pointedly, "How was your first day of school?" See, little family members? This is how you use manners and get to know people. They all looked at me like I was crazy

I knew that she wouldn't think I, or any of the family, if they had asked, was trying to poke and prod and shed a little light on her panic attack. She shrugged, "Nothing of much importance most of the day. I realized that walking close to the wall is, as a matter of fact, _not_ a good way to stay out of people's way." She cracked a forced smile, obviously trying to lift the tension. Emmett laughed, and mission was accomplished.

"Yeah, you want to just jump in the middle and drift with the rest of the people to your next class." Jasper advised, a small smile lighting his face.

"I'll keep that in mind tomorrow. My shins and elbows thank you." She saluted him, using her fork to pick apart her uneaten food. By my previous observations, not eating usually meant she was feeling deeply depressed. I didn't blame her. I stood up, bringing my empty plate to the sink, Bella stood up soon after, dumping her food into the trash can before also placing her plate in the sink. We both went to sit in the living room to wait for everyone else.

"Bella?" I asked when _Twilight Zone_ cut to commercial. I wondered if she would tell me, and I was a little nervous to ask, because I really didn't want her to get angry or upset, but my curiosity was quickly getting out of control, and since it was only us in here... She turned her head and looked at me. "What, exactly-don't get mad, you don't have to tell me- what made you start panicking?" I asked timidly, doubting myself every second I continued. She didn't look angry, or upset, but she did get a little bit of that mask back on her face, and I kind of felt like hitting myself in the face with a frying pan.

"You remember what I told you about Matt, right?" She inquired, and at my nod she continued. "I had a…a flashback, I guess, of the first time." The mask gained a little bit of power, but it wasn't fully back. I frowned, it was all so…so damn sick and disturbing and wrong and horrible and just _evil_, words couldn't even describe it. "Well, on the bright side, I've given the school something to talk about for the next four months or so." She mentioned with a small, fake laugh. You could actually hear that statement just dripping with sarcasm. I gave a small laugh, too.

"Like it matters." I replied, knowing she'd agree. She had told me during sixth period just how dull and dim-witted she found most of the people there.

"So, I have a question. How could a voice as nasally and scratchy as Lauren Mallory's produce a singing voice that doesn't automatically send whoever falls victim to the noise into a permanent coma?" She asked, referring to the fact that she had bribed her way into winning the contest Rose and Alice's band had held.

We both laughed and that dreaded mask of hers' disappeared, at least for that one moment.

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Important AN: First off, Happy New Years, I hope yours was good and you didn't get too terribly wasted. Secondly, How'd you like the chapter? This story is really starting to take shape and go in the direction I want and it's lovely.  
WHERE IT GETS IMPORTANT: Alrighty, yo, BellaSwanxEdwardCullen and I have set up a blog for this story. (Mainly BSxEC, all I did was come up with the name *thumbs up*.) Link is on my newly updated profile. She has posted some banners she made on the blog. The blog will be a place where I can give you little previews the day before an update, and give you any ATBOE news that happens, so go check it out you little junkies. :D Our internet is up and working again, so I'm posting this chapter from the warmness of my room.  
Review! I love them more than I love the Twilight Zone.  
Yeah, I know, that's a lot of love.**


	16. Slow Hands

**Disclaimer: -deep, slow voice- IIII DDDOOOONNN'TTT OOOWWWNNN ANNYYTTHHIINNG. **

**I'm getting bored with these things, can you tell?  
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(BPOV)

I was sitting on the stairs, waiting for the boys to finish eating so that we could leave and get this god-forsaken day over with. I was still being forced to go to school, even with this heavy load weighing down on my heart and mind. I guess I didn't mind going to school, you know, distraction and such, it was the people I was sure to meet that I was weary of. As I had stated yesterday, the kids at this school weren't just going to let something as juicy as what happened yesterday slip away without discussing the topic to it's breaking point. I rubbed my eyes and sipped the thermos full of coffee that I had decided to take with me today. It really shouldn't be a surprise that I was exhausted, I really just needed to get used to it.

I had spent my night staring at the ceiling and wallowing in self pity and hate that actually wasn't pointed at myself for once. I had taken all the bullshit these Foster families had dealt me over the past two years and kept going for one reason. I always had the hope that, maybe, the next house would be the one, my family. Yeah, well, I finally found it. My _family_, the family that I was sure was meant to be mine all along. They didn't make me feel like a burden, but like I was wanted. They might of made me feel like maybe people can love me. Like I finally belonged somewhere. But no. That shit just doesn't fly with fate or karma or God or whatever is in charge of this place we call the universe. Those people, the Swans, weren't even the least bit giving when they threw me out. No, they wanted to make my life miserable and crush all of my hopes and dreams. Just like I did to them.

I wanted to pull my hair out just at the thought of those two fuckers who had once claimed to be my 'parents'.

Now that I was where I am now, stuck in an unforgiving program, when I look back on my first twelve years of life, I can see the warning signs. I see the little things that I hadn't recognized at the time, because I was so young and naïve, like I was supposed to be. Like I still should be. Charles Swan had always been distant with me, he wasn't exactly mean to me, but he treated me more like a family friend would, not a father. He'd give me an awkward hug occasionally, but never a kiss. He'd talk with me, but never laugh and joke around. He'd tell me to go to bed, but never tucked me in.

Renee was different. I never thought anything of the weekends that happened at least once every other month where she would just pick up and go, only giving me a few hours notice. The fact that she sounded agitated when I wanted to talk to her, just to talk never sent off any kind of warning bells. I found it normal that she never showed the slightest interest in anything that I did. These things were never strange to me, because I had been raised since day one thinking that all adults thought kids were just a nuisance.

Even though I never thought any of those things were odd, I had felt worried and confused the week leading up to the day I was told about my future departure. Renee and Charlie were even more distant than usual. Hardly any words at all were exchanged with me that entire week. Not a single glance they gave me met my eyes. There was harsh whispering followed by crying drifting down the hallway at night. Then the day came, the dreaded conversation that I had felt laying just below the surface finally came up. My mind had blocked most of that day from my memory, the experience being too painful. The few things I remember about that night is my parents sitting on the couch stiffly, their blank expressions, and that that night was the first time I experienced insomnia.

I felt gentle hands lay on top of my own and I came back to the present day to find myself looking right at Jasper, a sad smile on his face. Looking at his expression just made my heart sink lower because even though, out of all of the family Jasper was the one I knew the least, he was still feeling a deep sadness to my situation just proved all the more that this family actually cared for me. My lips twitched up into a mock of a smile. I quickly gathered my things and walked with him to the jeep where Edward and Emmett were waiting. As soon as my door shut we were off and on our way to the lovely building that hosts the Forks High School.

---

I sat down at the lunch table, what had to be a permanent scowl on my face as I rubbed my tingling elbow. I decided that I really needed to learn how to walk the halls without getting bumped and knocked into walls/lockers soon, because another day like this my elbows and knees will be nothing but large purple bruises. I didn't have any food with me besides and apple and a bottle of lemonade, not really being hungry.

I was agitated. The whispers and giggles that followed me all day long were all too much and I was close to exploding in a big, fluffy mushroom cloud of irritation. If they were quietly whispering, so that I couldn't hear a word they were saying, I'd be fine with it. If they were talking at normal volume, not trying to hide it, it would hardly faze me. But this in between shit of these teenagers obviously not knowing how to properly be quiet was annoying as all hell.

I hadn't noticed the silence at the table until I looked up to see Edward and his friends all looking at me. I raised a brow and they all returned to their eating. I shrugged and took a bite of my apple, the irritation and depression causing my stomach to churn the second the food entered my mouth. I put the apple down. There was a palpable tension at the table that I was confused by. Tyler looked around, shifting uncomfortably, he didn't seem to be too fond of the tension.

"You know what would be a bad idea? To play leap frog with a unicorn." Tyler informed us rather suddenly. That did it. Everyone else was laughing and Tyler seemed satisfied with himself, I even cracked a smile.

"Damn Tyler, just to spend five minutes in your head would probably give me enough entertainment to last me the rest of my life." Kate said, shaking her head.

"Or disturb you enough to never want to close your eyes again." Ben cut in with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Tyler laughed and threw a fry at him.

"So Bella, Edward says music is your thing?" Tanya asked conversationally as the laughter died down. I smiled and nodded.

"It's my passion." I admitted before taking a sip of the lemonade. The sugar made my stomach exceptionally angrier. I twisted the lid on with a small grimace.

"Ben likes music, too. Though he's more of the aspiring rapper type." Angela spoke up with a playful roll of her eyes. Ben's grin was face splitting.

"Hey, now, I'm a DJ, not a rapper. My mouth can't do that overtime fast movement." Ben corrected. Everyone busted out laughing, multiple "That's what she said"s going around.

"Maybe with a little more practice, Ben." Tyler teased, causing the snickers to pick up again. By the end of lunch, I was almost completely out of my sullen mood. Almost.

When I entered the math classroom, late because I had managed to take the wrong hallway, there was only one seat left, in the back corner right next to the blonde bimbo herself. I grumbled silently and made my way to my seat as the teacher started the lesson. Lauren immediately turned to me. "Hey, you're the one that had the crazy freak out session yesterday, right?" She smiled a smug, malicious smile, excitement lighting her eyes.

"In the flesh." I gave her a wide smile that she would see as real. She looked taken aback before giving me a strange look and turning back to the front of the class. She didn't try to talk to me the rest of class, and I thought I saw her try to scoot away from me slightly. I smirked.

The next two periods passed in a blur of awkwardness, whispers, and Tyler standing in front of me in gym, trying to be inconspicuous. I decided I really liked him. The ride home was loud with the complaints Emmett had about one of his teachers calling on him in class when he didn't even have his hand raised. When we got home we all got out of the jeep, the boys all heading straight for the kitchen. I opted to sit on the couch and act like I was watching TV. My eyes were trained to some episode of Seinfeld when Emmett walked in, a water bottle in his hand.

"Hey Bella, you wanna work out with me?" He asked, fiddling around with the water bottle. I gave him a look of skepticism. "No, really." I looked at him for a second in complete and utter confusion, there had to of been some reason behind asking me, the weak fourteen year old girl, to _work out _with him. He looked like he really wanted me to say yes, there was a worried crease in between his eyebrows.

"Er, I guess so?" It was a question, but a question that made Emmett's face light up with happiness and relief. He told me thanks and to go get dressed. I made my way up the stairs, still completely confused.

I was thinking over the situation while putting on a pair of sweat pants. Why was he so anxious for me to work out with him? I couldn't even think of an answer for that one, it made no sense. Why me? He usually did his exercise stuff with Jasper, and even Edward, why not use one of them? Why now? He hadn't brought this up any other time, it was an extremely random request that he was set on getting a positive answer to. Why would he worry about me getting stronger?

And then it clicked. After the conversation Carlisle had with them yesterday, he knew I would be going back to families that were nowhere near as kind and gentle as the Cullen's. He thought me building a little bit of muscle would help me out later on, that it would help me from getting too terribly hurt. I shook my head and smiled, it was a sweet gesture, but I don't think he really understood how small and weak I was. No amount of exercise would make me strong enough to stand up to a fully grown man, it was so far from possible that it was amusing. But I'd do it anyways, I'd workout with him to give him some peace of mind. Who knows, maybe putting a little bit of muscle on my bones would lessen the blow a little bit. Maybe.

I walked downstairs, feeling awkward as I reached the small landing that seconded as part of the second floor hallway. Emmett walked out of his room right as I was stepping onto the first stair. "Hey, the teenage girl was done getting ready before I was, I feel ashamed." He laughed as he walked with me down the stairs.

"Speaking of teenage girls, where's Rose and Alice?" I questioned, just now noticing their absence.

"Esme took them out for touring basics after band practice." He answered, a hint of sadness lacing his tone. I felt bad for him, not only would he be temporarily missing his little sister and his girlfriend, but he also had the worry that at any random moment, he could lose me, too. My heart clenched, just as it had this morning with Jasper's gentle kindness. We walked over to the part of the garage that doubled as a gym. "Okay, first, we stretch."

---

The little work out session with the only problem being my fear of the punching bag. Emmett didn't understand what my problem was with it, but he eventually coaxed me into hitting it a few times. I stopped after three punches and he relented with a shrug before going on about push-ups. After an hour, I was exhausted and Emmett was finishing the last of his one hundred fifty push-ups. He stood up immediately. I had been finished with my measly fifteen for quite a while, but I was still sitting on the floor, Indian style, breathing slightly harder than normal. He was barely out of breath and I realized how out of shape I was.

Emmett offered me a hand which I gratefully accepted. He seemed rejuvenated after his work out. "I'm telling you, Bella, when I'm done with you, you'll be strong enough to take down a giant." He told me, a happy smile gracing his face as he glanced sideways at me. If he wanted to believe that this would help me, I'd let him, because the fact that he actually cares was good enough. I smiled at him and gave him a thank you that I knew he had been waiting for since day one of my arrival. I gave him a hug. In all my awkward, sweaty glory.

He was quick to hug back in the most Emmett fashion, picking me up. It didn't even matter that I could hardly breath, because his return hug was so full of brotherly affection I knew he was just underestimating his strength. "Ah, Bella, you're one hell of a kid." He said as he set me down, releasing me from his death grip.

"And you're one hell of a teddy bear." I replied with a wide grin.

"Damn straight." He laugh, slinging an arm over my shoulder as we walked back to the house. As soon as we were in I ran up to my room to take a shower, deciding to just go ahead and put on my pajamas since there was really no use in getting all dressed again. I walked downstairs to see both Edward and Emmett laughing as Jasper, with a large smile on his face, was dialing a number into his cell phone.

"What's going on?" I questioned, looking between them all. Emmett shushed me and Edward motioned for me to sit next to him.

"The girls are eating out, so we're ordering in pizza. We always mess with the pizza guys, this time, it's Jasper's turn to order." He explained with a mischievous smile, I raised my brows still slightly confused. Jasper put the phone up to his ear.

"Hey, do you guys sell p-p-pizza?" He asked in a fake British accent. "You do? Well, that's fantastic." He made a big deal of sighing in relief, this time using a Canadian accent. "Alright, I want a large meat lovers and medium cheese, p-p-please." He ordered, this time feigning Jamaican. By now, Edward and Emmett were trying their hardest to keep their laughter silent, and failing quite miserably. Jasper repeated his order twice, a different accent every time. "And, please, make sure the p-p-pizza's dead this time." He begged in a choppy Chinese accent before hanging up.

Emmett and Edward were on the floor, Jasper was doubled over, and I was laying back on the couch, all of us laughing our lungs out. "And you guys do this every time?" I asked when everyone had calmed down.

Emmett nodded. "With variations, but yes, basically."

Soon after, Em and Jasper went up stairs to work on homework, telling Edward to listen out for the pizza. Once the two older ones were gone, Edward turned to me with a smile. "So, you want to hear your song?" He asked, his eyes alight. I nodded my head maybe a bit too excitedly and he grabbed my hand, leading me over to the piano bench. We both sat down and he ran his fingers lightly over the keys, taking a couple of deep breaths before pressing his fingers down firmly, starting the song.

"_Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking__  
When you fall everyone stands__  
Another day  
And you've had your fill of sinking_"

His voice was amazing, as I had expected, and his fingers glided with such ease over the keys, it was almost like he was a part of the piano.

"_Hands are shaking cold  
These hands are meant to hold_"

I smiled slightly, I had heard him humming that part often, when I'd ask him where it was from, he would simply change the subject.

"_So a day when you've lost yourself completely__  
Could be a night when you're life ends__  
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving  
All the pain held in your hands_"

His brow was furrowed in concentration as he went into an instrumental solo.

"_When all you gotta keep is strong  
Move along, move along  
Like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through_"

He finished the song after a few more notes and I had a huge smile on my face and maybe, maybe, a tear in my eye. "It's absolutely beautiful, Edward." I told him, reaching over to give my second hug of the night.

* * *

**AN: Not my favorite chapter, but it's the best I could do what with the series of unfortunate events that have prevented me from keeping this chapter from coming. Thanks for all of the reviews! I added a bit of Emmett fluff and a bit of Edward fluff. You do not know how hard it was to find a song for Edward to sing to Bella that didn't mess with the story outline, it was insanity. Song: Move Along - The All-American Rejects. BTW, and this has nothing to do with this story, I found out that there is slash spongebob fanfiction. And a lot of it. I laughed so effin hard when I read it. For reals, guys, you need to check out the ATBOE-blog, yeah? Please Review! I love them more than super shady people love white vans.**


	17. The Good Times Are Killing Me

I smiled at my clock as I realized I had slept six hours, without the help of sleeping pills, or Edward. I was getting better at this whole sleeping deal. It was Sunday, the day that Alice and Rose headed off with the rest of their band for three and a half months. Both had been very fond of hugging all week, giving hugs out of the blue. I had gotten quite a good amount, and I wondered if it had anything to do with them not being able to be sure I'd still be here when they got back. I rubbed a hand over my eyes and got out of bed, grabbing a jacket before heading downstairs. I had always hated cold weather, considering I was especially susceptible to getting freezing cold, even indoors.

As I entered the kitchen, I noticed that Esme had prepared quite a breakfast. It was basically a buffet. Everyone appeared to already be seated and enjoying their overly full plates. I made my own plate before sitting down in between Emmett and Carlisle. "I must say, I was surprised when I came down here to realize I wasn't the last one awake, Bellsy." Emmett teased, nudging me gently in the shoulder.

I smiled. "Well you know me, Em. I'm nothing but a party animal." I joked, yawning afterwards. I hadn't noticed it before, but there was an underlying emotion in the room. A tension that came with two members of the family leaving for months at a time. It wasn't a happy and light breakfast, it was almost depressing. Everyone ate in silence.

Before long, everyone had eaten their fill, and the two girls were due to leave within fifteen minutes. Both already being fully dressed, all that was left was to bring luggage out to the car and say goodbye. The older boys went up to get luggage with their respective others while Edward and I cleaned up with Esme and Carlisle. After the bags were safely in their cars, the four of them walked back in to the kitchen and the two girls took turns telling everyone goodbye. When Alice made her way to me, she gave me a strong hug looked me in the eye, and told me she'd miss me. She was making her longtime farewell to me, just in case.

After Rosalie had hugged and kissed everyone on the cheek, she asked me to follow her into the living room real quick and turned to look at me. "I'm not one to accept a person quickly, trust me, but you're one of the family. If you leave before I get to see you again, I…" She paused and cleared her throat before continuing. "Listen, just remember, be strong. You'll always have us. No matter what, we'll always, always, be here, okay?"

I was slightly taken aback by the strong emotion behind her voice. "I know, Rose, and thank you." I gave her a smile, and a hug with little to no awkwardness before her and Emmett headed out to her convertible, Jasper and Alice already leaving in her Porsche. Jasper and Emmett would be driving their cars back from Seattle, where the tour bus was waiting for them.

The rest of the day was quiet, little activity going on. The house being filled with solemn faced expressions and slightly bad moods.

----

It was now Friday and I was crouched down in front of my locker, getting the books I would need for the weekend. I threw all of the junk in my book bag before jumping into the stream of people going out the front doors. I had finally gotten the hang on how not to get killed while walking the halls. Edward had told me in math that he was going over to Tyler's after school. Considering that Emmett was going out with some friends tonight and Esme and Carlisle were out doing something or the other, it would be Jasper and I home alone until at least nine. I wasn't sure what my feelings to this were. A large part of me was excited about getting to know Jasper better, another part of me was worried I had imposed on some plans because maybe Carlisle wasn't happy with me staying home alone, and a small, small part of my brain was afraid because, shit, that's just how things go with me. There is always going to be at least some small amount of fear whenever I'm around the opposite sex, or even people in general, it's an emotion I've felt for years now, and will feel for the next three and a half years, it's the way it works.

I finally made it out the doors and Jasper's car was in clear sight close by the building, waiting. I walked over quickly pulling the door open before falling in, placing my book bag in the backseat. Jasper smiled at me, it appearing a bit strange, and I wondered what he was thinking about. Was he excited that we had a chance to learn about each other a little more? Was he pissed about being stuck at home? Was he, maybe, afraid also? He sped out of the parking lot, apparently having the same driving style as Emmett and Alice. Fast. Jasper turned on the radio to fill the silence.

His index finger was scratching against the steering wheel, I was wringing my wrists, the car was silent despite the music that was playing, the awkwardness tangible. With the same finger that was scratching the wheel, he reached up and scratched his temple. "So, uh, how was school?" His tone screamed 'uncomfortable'. I noticed that the way he scratched the wheel was kind of odd. He seemed to be moving his finger in a crescent shape, not a natural motion. It was a nervous habit.

"Full of kids that don't know how to whisper properly." I answered, flashing a small smile to let him know I wasn't upset about it. He gave a chuckle or two. I noticed how he was tucked into the far left side of his seat and I realized he was afraid of making me uncomfortable, which made him uncomfortable, which made the whole situation uncomfortable. His index finger moved to his left hand to continue it's motion, and that's when I noticed the scars. A good amount of light, almost invisible, crescent shaped scars were scattered over his hand and forearm. The sign of a distressed past.

I hadn't ever really given much thought to Rose's and Jasper's past, how they had come to be adopted by the Cullen's, what had happened to their old family. I guess I was too caught up in my own sob story to care about someone else's. Now, I wanted to know, but didn't quite know how to go about asking him. I wouldn't ask him now, I'd wait until he calmed down and relaxed, that was for sure. We, finally, pulled up in front of the house. I grabbed my book bag and got out, following him into the kitchen.

He seemed to relax now that we weren't in the small confines of his car, and we sat in the living room watching some sitcom about teens in the seventies, comfortably distanced by sitting on two different sides of the couch. It seemed that neither of us were impressed by the show, seeing as he kept flipping on the guide and going through all of the channels, finding nothing interesting. He looked over to me. "See anything you like?"

"I'm not much of a fan of television." I shrugged. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Well, you want to play chess?" He offered out of the blue. He must of caught my questioning look. "Carlisle has the biggest head when it comes to chess, I want to practice so I can deflate it a bit for him." He smiled mischievously at me, eyeing the wooden chess table in the corner. I smiled back at him.

"Sure thing, but I have to warn you, I'm not too terribly great when it comes to that game." I admitted as we got up to sit at the game table.

He smiled at me. "Well then, we'll both get a little practice in." He nodded, sitting down on the side with the black pieces. I sat in the other chair and awaited his first move. I was thinking of a way to bring up his past, but in a sensitive way. I didn't know anything about it, I didn't know if it was painstakingly horrible or what. I decided playing dumb was a good way to start off the conversation.

"So, uh, how long have you been with the Cullen's?" I eased in after a few minutes of light talking and me losing. I watched his expression out of the corner of my eye, looking for any signs of hitting a nerve. His face stayed light and concentrated on the game as he answered.

"Nine years. They adopted Rose and I when we were eight. They would of gotten us a year sooner if my biological father wasn't a complete dick." He rolled his eyes as he said the last sentence. I must have had an inquisitive look on my face, because when he looked at me, he continued. "When we were seven, my mom, Rose, and I were in a car wreck. It was raining and a car on the other side of the road hydroplaned and lost control of the car." He swallowed, twirling my captured bishop in his hand. "My mom and Esme were best friends from basically birth, so, the Cullen's were our god-parents, but my dad, who hadn't been a part of our lives, at all, decided to show up all of a sudden and cause big problems." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his other hand fisting, obviously holding a good bit of irritation for his father.

"Rose and I were in limbo for about a year. We were in Foster Care most of the time, but sometimes we were with Carlisle and Esme. What was worst of them all was when we were with our father, Gunther. He was a drunk that didn't have a clue when it came to raising kids." He paused. "Especially girls." He whispered, almost too quietly for me to hear. He hadn't meant for me to hear it, that was for sure. He grimaced and shook his head.

"It was stressful. Way too stressful for a seven year old to handle. I put it on my shoulders to keep Rosalie safe, wherever she was, I was shadowing her. When the court had officially handed us over to the Cullen's, we were ecstatic. We were happy we could just be kids again." He finished his story, rubbing his arm where I knew scars were covering the surface. His mind was way back in his childhood judging by his eyes.

"I'm sorry I brought it up, I-" I apologized before he cut me off with a small smile and a wave of his hand.

"The past is the past, I haven't had to worry about anything like that in a long time. I'm happy now, and that's all that matters right?" He told me, smiling as he continued the game by moving his rook.

I gave him a slight smile. "Yeah, I'm starting to learn that, too."

----

It had been three weeks since mine and Jasper's slightly uncomfortable night together, and everyone was getting tired of the snow that came with February. The first few days had been full of snow ball fights and crude snow men building, but now, two weeks after the first good snow fall, everyone was really looking forward to the green of spring instead of the white of winter.

The news of my panic attack in gym was finally starting to die down, and people weren't as obviously uncomfortable around me, though the feeling and avoidance was still there, I didn't mind it. I had begun to fit in really well with the other occupants of the lunch table, Angela and I getting along especially well. Who would of guessed that under our quiet and shy exteriors we're actually sharp sarcasmists just full of good come-backs? There was always a battle of wit going on between us, which proved to be entertaining to all who was witnessing.

Tanya's unfearful bluntness and random topic changers always kept the group from getting too quiet, Ben's never ending supply of nerdiness and strong want to be a 'gangsta' always proved to be amusing, Kate's advice kept everyone out of trouble, and Tyler was always just too much of a character to ever allow any amount of tension or boredom. I hadn't really ever pictured myself being able to say I had good friends, but I definitely did. We had all taken to spending the entire weekends together, leaving our houses at noon and not returning until seconds before curfew at 11:30, sometimes a few minutes after.

We had even snuck out one night. It was last Saturday night, we had spent the entire day just hanging out at the Cheney's household- our favorite due to his cool parents and lack of siblings- and had completely forgotten our reasoning for getting together in the first place, to help Angela finish a play she was working on to get into this summer camp at Yale. Not being the kinds of friends to leave the other without help, Edward and I snuck out and back down to the Cheney's house, where the other girls had already snuck back to, and stayed up until four in the morning to help finish the last act. Edward and I even helped write a few melodies for the songs she had written to go with the play. Sneaking back into the house at four in the morning had been invigorating and such a regular teenager thing to do.

It was _fantastic_.

My life was starting to work out for the better. I had an awesome family taking care of me that I felt almost completely comfortable with, I had great friends that made me feel normal, and a best friend that I might have the beginning of a crush on. These things were getting my hopes up and I was becoming less of a cynic and more of an optimist with each day that passed.

I had managed to drag myself out of bed at eleven. The activity filled weekends were helping my sleep pattern regulate better, and I was feeling better than I had in years. I walked to the door, and right as I was about to open it, I heard Edward walk past, mumbling the jingle that had been in his head for days sleepily, "When I say Hillshire, you say Farm, Hillshire Farm-"

"Go meat!" I finished while stepping out of my room, slightly louder than 'my inside voice', causing Edward to jump spastically and yelp shrilly.

My laughter had me doubled over. "I'm" Gasp. "Sorry"

He joined in on the laughter. "Well, what did you expect when you burst out of your bedroom yelling 'go meat' this early in the morning." The glint in his eye told me he had meant for my perverted teenage mind to make that sentence dirty. This immaturity had us both giggling. By the time we had righted ourselves and quieted down, we had noticed adult voices talking from the living room. We both gave each other curious looks before making our way down the hall and stairs. We entered the living room and I recognized a familiar tight hair-bun. My heart dropped to my stomach as I took in the stony faces of Esme and Carlisle.

I looked at Mrs. Harks with a cold glare that would freeze an Eskimo. "I'm not leaving."

* * *

**AN: O_O  
I know you guys hate me for that last sentence, I just know it. Sorry. Now, I have to address a review that I got to maybe clear some things up with people; some of you may have noticed that there is not much romance in this story, I have some good reasoning behind this: 1- Their SO young, guys, I mean, trust me I know that fourteen and fifteen year olds are in relationships and even in some pretty serious one's, but I don't want any of that cliche, 'I just met you, but I still love you more than life itself, love me, never leave me, be completely committed to me, dear young teenager" Ha, yeah, it's bull shit. 2- Bella and Edward have only known each other for about two months, come on people. 3- Bella's past experiences with males doesn't exactly scream out for her to get into any kind of romantic relationship with anyone soon. But I can promise you guys this, the story will have romance, just, not for a few more chapters. Give it time. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! I love you guys more everyday. BTW, new one-shot called Third Shelf Heart-Break, go check it out, yeah? Oh, and I have been pushed into getting a twitter, so that's on the page, too.  
Please review! I love them more than Alabama loves shutting down the entire state for _an inch of snow.  
_I mean really, one effin inch. -shakes head-**


	18. Bad Kids

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.  
**

* * *

(BPOV)

"I'm not leaving." I repeated coldly as my social worker looked at me sympathetically. She wasn't going to do this to me, no, not this time. I wouldn't leave without a fight. Physical or verbal. I had been working out four days out of seven for the past month, I had a good amount of muscle. I could at least give her a black eye, or split lip. Something.

"Isabella, we found a home that's in your county. You know the state likes it better when you stay closer to home." She attempted to reason. I didn't care what the state liked, I'm sure the state didn't like kids getting beaten half to death either, but they still let it happen.

"Fuck the state. I'm not leaving." I stood my ground, she put a hand to her forehead.

"Look, you never had a problem leaving before. Stop being stubborn, you're leaving in two days." She had the gall to look me in the eyes.

"I never 'had a problem'" I made air-quotes. "Before because I was getting the life beaten out of me by men twice my size. And you knew it, too. You finally, _finally, _put me in a house that's decent, absolutely wonderful, and now you want to pull me because _it will make the state happy?_" I laughed humorlessly. "Cute. That's real fucking cute. The 'state' can get their happiness and shove it up their ass. You can go ahead and shove your high and mightiness up yours, too." I was yelling by now, the rage of the situation sending tremors through my body. All of the Cullen's- the boys came down when I started screaming- we're looking at me shell-shocked. I don't think they were expecting my language. Harks looked embarrassed and flustered.

"Look, Swan, if you don't cooperate, I will call the cops and report you as a runaway." She threatened, I rose an eyebrow amusedly.

"A runaway? You do realize I'm standing right in front of you, right? Or does your tiny little brain not work that fast?" My hands were darting all over the place, my temper rising higher and higher.

She clenched her jaw and her fists, but did nothing. She couldn't, she was stuck. Her eyes brightened as she got an idea. "You know, kids that are uncooperative get put in group homes, right? I'm sure I could find one in the Seattle area. A co-ed one, even…" My face paled as my mind brought back memories I had suppressed. Memories I hadn't even allowed my brain to concoct back up for a little over a year. My mind was far away.

_Groups of teenage boys, standing above me. "Hey look guys, fresh meat." followed by the cynical laughter. Vicious girls clawing my skin, pushing me against walls, threatening me with my life after finding the boys on me. Being alone in a home filled with teenagers that had become hard with years and years in the system. All because I was being uncooperative about leaving the hospital._

My head was shaking slowly. "You…You can't do that. That's a threat. Threatening is against the law." I stuttered through, my voice cracking with the fear of what that place would do to me.

"Oh, it's not a threat. It's fact. When kids are troublesome, they go to the group homes." Her face was triumphant as my new life was shattered into a million pieces. All over again.

"But, why? Why! Why can't I stay here? Their not bothered by my presence. I'm a good kid, I don't cause them problems, do I?" I looked back at them, my expression frantic, my eyes wild. Surely if the family begged, she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

"Honestly, Janice, we love Bella. She's part of the family. I really am not understanding why she _must_ go. If it weren't for her god-awful parent's, we'd be adopting her." Carlisle tried to reason, but it was useless. I had already insulted her, she wouldn't do anything that might be best for me now.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen-" She was cut off.

"That's _Doctor_ Cullen, thank you." He corrected her coldly.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen. But the Foster Care Association is really more comfortable with her being in her own county. With her parent's not giving her up completely and all. And since there is now a house open for her to stay in King County…" She trailed off with a sigh, as if she wished it could be different. Which we both knew could. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it to all just be a horrible nightmare.

The only thing it accomplished was getting a tear to slide down my cheek.

She looked at me with stone cold eyes. "Two days." Was all she said before she nodded to the Cullen's and walked briskly out the door. I closed my eyes again, the tears flowing freely now, my face screwed up in a scowl. It was silent. There wasn't any rustle of denim, or coughs, not a sound of cloth rubbing together. Just quiet. Suffocating quiet that swallowed the entire household. I was on the floor, hands yanking my hair, tears streaming down my face with my eyes still closed. I didn't want to see the looks on their faces. I wiped my face off, cleared my throat, and pulled myself up. I completely avoided looking at the Cullen's while I left the room and walked up the stairs. I closed the door to my bedroom quietly behind me and walked over to the bed, laying on it above the covers, only to get back up.

No, I didn't need to spend my last two days I had with this family moping around. I needed to spend it with the Cullen's, with my friends. I'd worry about the future when it got here, right now, I need to just revel in these last two days I get with _my _family, who knows, maybe I'll see them soon. Maybe I'll find a way to visit them, or meet up, or something. It won't be forever, they said I was always welcome here, right? That I was part of their family. Besides, the system usually gives up on us by sixteen. That's only a year and a half away. That's…not too bad. I shook my head.

_Just clear your head and go spend time with your family while you have one, alright?_

Right.

I walked into the bathroom to splash my face with water, getting rid of all tear tracks, before walking downstairs to where the family was sitting. They looked like a family member just died, which wasn't exactly encouraging. When they saw me they got up all at once and rushed over, Esme practically throwing herself onto me in a death grip hug. I returned it with equal eagerness. "Oh, it's not fair. I'm so sorry." She cried. I just shook my head, I knew it wasn't fair, it never was.

"That woman was being completely unreasonable. She didn't care about you at all." Jasper stated, sounding disgusted. Carlisle was shaking his head.

"She definitely wasn't being professional, I'm going to go call the agency and file a complaint while I'm seeing what I can do about this situation." Carlisle mentioned before walking up to his office, taking the stairs two at a time.

Emmett picked me up in a hug, crushing me to his chest. He didn't say anything, and I didn't even acknowledge the fact that I couldn't breathe, because I was too busy attempting to squeeze the life out of him with my own hug. He set me down and I looked at his face. I don't think I had ever seen Emmett look so sad, there wasn't any small sign of laughter in his eyes at all. "I'm gonna go call Rose." He said after giving me another hug, stalking off, phone in hand. Jasper followed his lead, grabbing his own phone to call Alice, and with Esme upstairs with Carlisle, it left Edward alone with me.

He had finally achieved that emotionless, detached expression of mine that he had tried many a time to copy. He was standing about five steps away from me, just staring at me, a tear threatening to spill over. He took a cautious step towards me before all but running right at me. I had managed one step in the time he had managed four. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and I around his waist. "Why do you have to go?" He whispered, pulling me closer.

"Because life's shit." I replied. After a few moments of standing there, holding each other, I eased my way out of his arms. "Come on, we still have two days left. Let's enjoy them." He looked at me and nodded his head.

"Yeah" He sighed. "Yeah, you're right, I guess." He ran a hand through my hair and turned his gaze to my eyes. "So, you want to spend today with the family, or the group?" He asked, slipping his hand into mine. My eyes darted to our intertwined hands, before shooting back to his bright green eyes.

"With the group, I'll spend tomorrow with the family." I decided with a nod. He gave a small smile.

"Alright, I'll send a forward out to everyone. You go get ready." He told me, giving my hand a quick squeeze before turning to go into the kitchen. I did what he said and went upstairs to get ready and in fifteen minutes, he was standing by the front door, completely dressed for the day.

"You sure Esme and Carlisle are okay with me going?" I asked, suddenly nervous that they'd rather keep me all to themselves these last couple of days. He gave me a smile.

"Of course their fine with it. They know that you'll be spending all of tomorrow with the family, you need to…you know," He struggled. "spend some time with your friends." He finally finished. I realized he was avoiding saying 'goodbye', probably not wanting to upset me or something of the sort. I nodded. We stepped out the front door and waited for Tyler to come by and pick us up. "Did you tell them?" I asked as the thought comes to me, I need to know what I'm going into.

"No, I didn't know if you'd want me to, I just told them we were having an emergency meet-up and attendance was mandatory." He finished the sentence with a smile. That was when Tyler pulled up in his blue van, a slight look of confusion crossing his features.

"What's the emergency?" He asked when we got in the car. I stole a quick glance at Edward before telling him I'd explain when we were all together. "Alright, well, everyone's already at the Cheney crib, we were wondering when you guys were gonna show up." He said, glancing at the clock. I hadn't realized it was already one, when we usually got together about an hour prior.

"All part of our lovely morning." Edward commented, his tone having a small hint of anger that he tried to conceal. I gave a small, dark chuckle and noticed the van speed up slightly. We were pulling into the driveway within five minutes. Everyone was in the basement, as usual, but the television was turned off as soon as Edward and I's presence was detected, everyone looking at us expectedly.

"I'm leaving." I said, deciding to just go ahead and spit it out. They looked confused.

"But, you just got here, like, not even half a minute ago." Tanya commented.

I rolled my eyes slightly. "I mean Forks. I'm leaving Forks. My social worker stopped by and informed me that I was leaving the Cullen's." I said in monotone, giving information. There were eyes widening and intakes of breath and sadness overtaking expressions.

"Do you know where your going?" Kate asked quietly.

I gave a cynic smile and shook my head. "That's a kicker, isn't it? She didn't even have the decency to tell me where I'm going." I whispered, just now thinking of that important detail. I sat on the table and put my head in my hands, I needed to reign in my emotions like I did earlier, but before they got that far. I took a deep breath when I thought I was in check before looking back up at everyone. They looked glum, and, this might sound odd, but I found it reassuring in a way. It made me feel…important. That they were like this with the news of my departure. Like they actually cared. I smiled at them.

"But hey, they usually release kids at the age of sixteen. That means I could be back here to hang with you guys in a year and a half. And who knows, I might even be able to slip in a couple of visits." I informed them, adding a slightly doubtful 'maybe' to the end of that sentence. Maybe I'd be lucky and get a home where the parents don't give half a shit about me, and therefore don't care where I am. I doubted I'd be that lucky, though. I very rarely am. it seemed to brighten them a bit, though.

"Yeah, a year and a half really isn't that long, if you think about it." Angela said to the group, nodding her head along as she thought..

"And by then, we'd be seniors. We could totally run this town, the seven of us together." Ben said with a mischievous smile.

"And with us all driving, these would be the most dangerous roads in all of Washington." Tyler said hopefully, like what he said was actually a good thing. As always, Tyler's little comment made everyone laugh, releasing the sadness out of the room.

"So, how does one make a day memorable enough for a whole year and a half of being apart?" Ben asked, put his hand to his chin, as if in deep thought.

"The biggest snow battle ever known?" Tyler suggested.

"No, no, won't work, we did that two weeks ago, remember?" Tanya said, joining in on the brain storm.

Suddenly, Ben's face lit up, and he got this expression, somewhere between excited and astounded. The latter probably because he actually had an idea he thought was good. He looked at us. "I might have the best idea since Doritos." We all paid close attention as he told us excitedly of his plan. By the time he was finished, we were all staring at him in disbelief.

I looked over to Angela, who was now sitting right beside me on the couch. "Did you know he could be so creative?" I joked, causing everyone to laugh.

Three hours, two pizzas, a trip to Angela's, and an entire afternoon of planning later, and we were ready to pack up and head out. "I can't believe we're actually going to do this." Kate said with a laugh. While the others were packing the required things into the van, I walked over to Edward, who had hardly said more than two words. I pulled him to the side and looked him in the face with an understanding look. Whereas the others, who knew little of my previous luck with families, were easily bought off with the idea of us only having to wait a year and a half, Edward saw that year and a half for what it would be to me. What would feel like an eternity of broken bones, gashes, and burns.

We were under the back porch now, out of sight of the others, who were going from the basement to the driveway, making sure we had everything. I didn't want Edward to feel pain for me. I couldn't help sadness, but our friendship had gotten deeper than just being slightly depressed when we broke apart. There was that feeling of loss. "Edward-" I was cut off by his lips connecting with mine. Shock shot it's way through me, and an ounce of fear, but I pushed that away, _Edward won't hurt me, he would never hurt me. _

I pushed all thoughts out of my head, which was hard considering the tiny voice that was yelling at me that this was going to end badly. But the rest of my brain, the bigger voice, was telling me to enjoy it, so I kissed him back. He wrapped his arms loosely around my waist, and I put my hands on his chest. His lips were soft, warm, gentle, so different from what I was used to. I was _enjoying_ the kiss. He lifted his hand and gently stroked my cheek before burying it in my hair. It was like a dance. Kiss. Kiss again. Change sides. Kiss again. I rubbed my hand over his shoulder, and his arm around my waist tightened, pulling my body closer to his. That's when it became too much. Without panicking, I slowly broke the kiss, pulling away from him.

No, I didn't panic until after I pulled away. In my mind, at least. Why would he do that? Why would he attempt to get us closer when we were about to be forced apart? Would it of been better not to of kissed him back, was my doing so only adding fuel to the pending flame? I didn't have anywhere close to an answer for any of the questions. Don't get me wrond, the kiss was incredible, and I wouldn't take it back, but was it fair? I was just glad that Kate walked around the corner looking for us before I had to say anything to him. Edward grabbed my hand and we followed her back to the van, where everything was set up and the excitement of what we were about to do was surging through out the car, making it impossible to be thinking about anything else beside the awesome night laid out ahead of us.

* * *

**AN: I know you guys hate me. I know it, but it's how it goes. Plus, I'm pretty sure whatever hatred you guys feel towards me was subdued quite nicely by _that fucking kiss_, which Edward will explain more thoroughly soon. Next chappie is lookin happy, but after it is full of shit. (Haaa, it rhymed) Sorry, I'm on about five different cold medicines and a migraine medicine. A bit loopy at the moment. I had wanted to make this chapter and the next one chapter, but, I liked keep you guys wondering what their doing. Cliff hangers inspire me to write. Speaking of cliffies, go read _The Hunger Games_. Right Now. It's by Suzanne Collins. Go. Now. Thanks for all of the reviews, even if they were all like 'NOOOOO, how could you? AHHH' Hahaha. Follow me on Twitter, it's on my page. Remember, guys, the kiss doesn't mean their in a relationship, so no high hopes yet, okay? Review! I love them more than creepers like hiding under your bed. ._.  
Too far?**


	19. There Goes The Fear

**(BPOV)**

I awoke shivering, laying on something hard, with something wrapped tightly around me. My head hurt slightly, but that was probably due to the smell of tobacco that radiated off my shirt. I sat up, trying to get my bearings, and only then realized the thing wrapped around me was Edwards arms, and the hard thing I was laying on was the garage flooring. I chuckled as I remembered getting home at 3:30 this morning to find that we were completely locked out of the house, Edward having locked his window that morning for some unexplainable reason. And the utter relief when we remembered that the garage had a doggie door, and that we wouldn't be sleeping in the snow. Edward stirred and sat up.

"Waz 'appenin?" He asked groggily, looking around him, and letting out a small snort of laughter as he recalled how we had landed here. "Holy hell, sleepin' on freezing concrete is not satisfying in the least." He said as he shook his head. He stopped and wrinkled his nose "Man, we stink."

"I know, it's giving me a headache. I don't see the appeal of smoking at all." I replied, remembering how Tanya had goaded us all into smoking one, claiming it would help us warm up. Ha, yeah, _that_ was bullshit.

"Well, the buzz isn't exactly bad, if it didn't stick smell awful it wouldn't be all that bad." Edward reasoned, to which I gave a shrug. A smile lit my face as I remembered the reason we were out so late.

"I wonder what everyone driving down South Forks Avenue today is thinking." I had a huge, evil grin on my face as I said this, one which Edward quickly mirrored before laughing loudly, I quickly joined in, but the laughter quickly died as we both had the same idea light our face.

"What time is it?" We both asked at the same time, Edward pulled out his phone and gave a sigh of relief. "Only six, if we get in now, Dad will never know we were out last night." He said before quickly dialing Jasper's phone number and asking him to quickly and quietly come unlock the back door for us. We walked around and got there just as Jasper was opening the door.

"Dude, what the hell? The sun isn't even fully up yet." He said with irritation before looking like he just realized something. "Why are you guys out at six a.m. anyways? I covered for y'all when mom asked if you were back by curfew, said I saw you each go up to your rooms."

"Thanks Jazz, but this secret endeavor of ours will be seen soon enough. It was pretty big." Edward said with a laugh. Jasper just stared at him stupidly for a minute before muttering 'whatever' and walking out of the kitchen and back up to his room. Edward and I quickly followed his lead, and splitting up into our own separate rooms to change and get a few more hours of sleep.

A loud knock on my door startled me awake and I jumped up to see who it was. Jasper and Edward stood there with large grins on their faces and walked in as soon as I opened the door. Jazz closed the door behind him. "You guys TP'd _all _of South Forks Street, from Campbell Street to A street last night, didn't you?" Jazz said with a slightly disbelieving grin. We couldn't hold in our giggles. "Oh my God, that kind of shit is _legendary_. You can guarantee Forks High students will be talking about it for at least two decades."

"In all fairness, it wasn't our idea. Ben came up with it all on his own." Jasper gave an astonished look. "I know, we we're surprised, too." Jazz just shook his head, mumbling something along the lines of 'fuckin legendary' as he walked out of the room. It's funny how you seem to remember all the shitty stuff when you're in a good mood, and as Edward and I sat there laughing, I remembered _why_ we had to do something 'legendary' last night, why, even though it was Monday, none of us were at school, because today was my last day to spend with these people before I left them all for who knows how long. Edward seemed to realize what I was thinking about.

"We should probably get ready real quick and go down stairs." I nodded my head and told him I'd see him later as he walked out of my room. I quickly showered, dried my hair, and got dressed before heading downstairs. Everyone was downstairs, in one room or the other. Carlisle was in the dining room, reading some papers intently, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward were in the living room playing some video game, and Esme was in the kitchen doing the dishes. I decided to go help in the kitchen. I grabbed a drying rag and reached for the wet dishes.

"Oh honey, you don't have to do that." She said as she tried to grab the towel out of my hand.

I held it out of her reach. "Really, I don't mind." I said as I continued my drying. She looked at me a moment longer before continuing her washing.

"We're gonna go shopping today, all of us, I know it's more of an Alice and Rose thing, but I don't think any of the boys are in any mood to argue." Esme informed me sadly. I looked back at the boys and noticed that they didn't have the usual all-encompassed look they usually had while playing video games. It looked like they were doing it more out of habit. I looked back at Esme, who was looking at me with a look that showed she was fighting back tears. My heart broke a little more.

"Oh, Esme, you know I hate it. But don't worry, I'll be back here soon. Once I turn sixteen, they'll release me out of the system and I'll be right back with you guys. And, come on, it's not like I won't be able to see you ever, we'll all meet up sometime." I attempted to console her. This is exactly what I needed to be doing, putting on a brave face instead of soaking in my own self-pity.

Esme finished washing the last dish before replying. "Oh, honey, I know. But that's, what, almost two years? I just can't help it, we're all gonna miss you so much."

I shrugged. "Time flies." Was all I said while giving her a hug. I left her to put the dried dishes up while I meandered into the dining room. Carlisle looked up from his paper, and smiled at me, putting the paper down. "Oh, I didn't mean to stop your work. I was just walking through."

He waved his hand. "Don't worry about it, I was actually just reading through some laws and regulations about Foster Care. I wanted to tell you I did file a complaint about Mrs. Harks and they will assign you a new Social worker in about a week." He told me with a small smile. I stood in shocked surprise, it was another thing that just _might _make this whole ordeal, not great, or even good, but also not completely horrific. I mean, I had given Harks quite enough reason to hate me, this new worker though…Who knows?

"Carlisle, that's great!" I said with real enthusiasm and hugged him tightly. His grin broadened and he hugged me back before letting me go. Esme walked in and said we'd be leaving soon, and to make sure we're all ready.

Though she hadn't specifically told me why we were all going shopping, I got a good enough idea. This family was doing everything in their power to try and keep this from being a terrible next couple of years. I didn't even think about telling them that, more than likely, anything that they bought me would be ripped, burnt, broken, or destroyed out of spite. As we all walked through the mall at Port Angeles, Emmett already carrying a couple of bags that held a few outfits in them, it really just felt like I was going away on a vacation or something. Not like I was about to be leaving the only real family I've ever known to live the life of a rag doll.

No one brought up the fact that I was leaving in less than twenty-four hours, everyone skirted around the subject. I think this was mainly for Edward's sake, because every time the subject came near, he would stiffen, shove his hands roughly in his pockets, and glare at whoever was talking with venom. I don't know how they managed it, but I eventually found myself alone with Emmett and Jasper in the arcade. This was a most spectacular feat, considering Edward had basically been attached at my hip all day. Not that I was complaining.

"So, leaving us for the city, eh?" Emmett attempted to joke, I gave a feeble chuckle.

"Heh, yeah…" I allowed my voice to trail off.

"Rose was all broken up when I told her, believe it or not. I was kind of surprised, Rose isn't really the crying type, you know. But she really liked you, she felt you two had a lot in common." He mentioned, glancing at me sideways. I put a small smile on my face.

I noticed that Jasper was grimacing slightly. "Alice was inconsolable." He shook his head, Emmett gave a small chuckle and we both looked at him in confusion.

"I could hear her while I was talking to Rosie, after five minutes of it, she said that she had just given Ali a Red Bull, consisting of about 80% of Vodka." He chuckled cautiously, not sure if Jasper would get mad at this or not. Jasper put his head in his hands and started laughing.

"That explains why she felt like shit this morning." He laughed, shaking his head. We all laughed lightly at poor Alice's expense for a little bit before we fell silent again. It was the kind of quiet no one really notices, because everyone's mind are all so loud with their own thoughts.

"God, Bella." Jasper eventually sighed, shaking his head. "I can't wrap my head around it. I mean, you've only been with us for, what, five months now? But still, I can't remember what it was like without you in the house. It's like you've always been there, and now you're about to be gone. And not just gone, like, Ali and Rose are gone. Or even like how Emmett and I are gonna be gone once we graduate. This isn't a happy kind of leaving, it's kind of like…" He stopped himself, not wanting finish it, afraid of how it'd make me feel. I nodded, telling him to go on. "Kind of like you're dying, ya know, temporarily. You're going into the unknown, and we can't protect you from any of it."

I nodded my head, he was saying what I had been thinking. I had become so used to always having someone there for me again, someone to talk to, just someone to keep my company. That was about to be gone, I wasn't going to be able to joke and laugh about how idiotic Lauren Mallory was to Edward anymore, I wouldn't have Jasper to help me with my math homework, Esme's never ending affection would be gone. I was about to be left alone in the world, just like my parents had planned for me to be since I was twelve years old.

After we finally left the mall, we all went out to some small restaurant for dinner where we did something I had never done with the Cullen's before, hell, hardly ever done, period. Our food had just arrived after a not too long wait, Emmett was already devouring his when Esme spoke up. "I think, before we eat, we should say a prayer." Everyone stared at her in shocked confusion, even Carlisle looked astonished, but everyone slowly bowed there heads, all of us still feeling like we were missing something. "Um, dea-dear God," She hesitated, feeling a little uncertain, but she seemed to gain confidence. "Thank you for this beautiful day I've gotten to spend with my family, and for this food we are about to eat. I pray that you keep Your protective hand over my family as we partake in this new week, and…and in Your name, Amen." She finished up and looked at us all expectantly. We all muttered a quick 'amen' and began too eat quietly.

It was rather obvious what this was all about, I was causing a real fear in Esme's life, which caused her to turn to religion, something I'm not quite sure she was into before. Talk and laughter eventually picked back up around the dinner table. Edward was teasing Emmett because he had went out on a limb and ordered something he wasn't quite sure he would like, and was paying dearly for it. Emmett, however, was fighting back, calling Edward a 'Safety Susan' for never going out on a limb and trying something new.

I hadn't forgotten that Edward and I had yet to talk about what happened between me and him yesterday afternoon. The kiss showed that he, like myself, was more attached in this relationship than 'just friends'. But why would he do something like that when he knew we wouldn't be seeing each other again for, maybe, a whole year and a half?

After a walk around the Port Angeles park we headed home, arriving just before eleven. Carlisle informed the boys that they would be going to school tomorrow (though they would probably miss first period), so it was straight to bed, then told me that Harks would be here at eight o'clock sharp. He dismissed us and we all headed up stairs to our own separate rooms, calling 'goodnight's to each other as we went. As I walked into my bedroom for what would be the last night, I noticed Edward walk in behind me. I stared at him, to which he just shrugged and mumbled something about helping me pack.

I pulled all of my clothes out of the dresser and threw the tangled mess on the floor near my suitcases, well, all except my under garments. I was pretty sure I could manage to pack those on my own later.

"So, you're gonna keep in touch, right?" Edward asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. I looked at him like, well, kind of like he was an idiot.

"Um, _Of course_? Why wouldn't I? You're my best friend." I gave a scoff and continued folding up clothes.

He nodded his head. "Right, right." And we were plunged back into another uncomfortable silence.

"So…Are you going to come visit us?" He asked in what he tried to make a nonchalant tone.

"Edward, you know I'm going to try, but I don't exactly know the kind of people I'm staying with yet." I explained like it was obvious, which it was. He nodded his head again, but kept quiet.

"You gonna miss me?" He all but whispered.

I gave him a strange look, wondering what all of this was about. "Edward, what's up with you? Just spit it out." I said in exasperation.

"Well, shit Bella, you haven't really been acting like you're really broken up about all this. You've been laughing, and cutting up with Em and Jasper all day. Talking about clothes with Esme. Clothes, Bella, could there be a less important subject at a time like this?" He exclaimed, breathing heavily after he finished. I looked at him in astonishment and disbelief.

Was he really this fucking stupid.

"Are you really this fucking stupid?" I repeated my thoughts. "I've been trying to _enjoy_ my last day with my family, not marinade myself in misery. Do you honestly think I'm just bursting with joy to leave the only safe haven I've ever known to go get the snot beat out of me. You think I'm not scared to _fucking death_. Did you hear Esme at dinner tonight? Was Emmett all smile's as he usually is? Did you hear your dad on the phone with people from all over the state today? I'm not the only one I have to think about anymore. I can't go freaking out, if I make it seem like I'm not on the verge of a panic attack constantly, then I'm keeping everyone else's panic at bay." I was still in disbelief at this boys idiocy. "You're family, their doing everything they can think of to try to make me leaving okay. Esme's new clothes, Carlisle's new social worker, Emmett's work out routine, their not going to mean _shit_, alright? I know that, but it's giving them a peace of mind, and that's good enough for me. The simple accusation that this move isn't killing me, Edward, is really mother-fucking low." I seethed, trembling in my anger.

He looked shell-shocked, for whatever reason, he had not been expecting me to blow up. After a few more moments of his gaping, he tried to speak. "Bella, I-"

"Save it." I cut across him, pointing towards the door. He looked miserable as he made his way to the door, he had almost shut it behind him when he came back in.

"No, I'm not gonna let you leave hating me." He said determinedly, slightly panicky. "Bella, I'm sorry, I'm…beyond idiotic. Listen, I'm just…scared, that was my fear talking. Shit, I'm stupid, I know, but please, don't leave tomorrow hating me." He begged. I refused to look at him, and instead focused on my packing. He eventually left.

After I had packed everything in the most precise way possible, except the things I'd need to use to get ready tomorrow, I sat on my bed. I was still shaking with the argument that had happened two hours ago. My mind racing. Was I really going to leave tomorrow, to a home where I'll receive no kind of affection or companionship, with the best friend I've ever had thinking I hate him? How could I? I paced around my room, thinking about what I was going to do. It was 1:30, he was definitely asleep. After thirty more minutes of pacing and thinking I realized there really was only one option of what to do.

I walked down the hall to Edward's room and opened the door, not bothering to knock. It was completely dark except for the blue LED light coming from the stereo system that was softly singing some folk music. I tiptoed over to his bed where he was splayed across the left side. I brushed my hands through his hair, trying to wake him gently. He opened his eyes, looking like he hadn't even been sleeping. "Bella?" He asked. I bent down and kissed him softly on the temple.

"I forgive you." I whispered and righted myself, preparing to walk back to my room. Instead he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me down onto the bed beside him. We laid facing each other, his arm still draped over my waist, hardly an inch in between us. I raised my hand and ran the back of it gently down his cheek. He pulled me as tightly to him as he could and gave me a lazy kiss. Tears came to my eyes. "I'm going to miss you so fucking much." I whispered. He nodded his head in agreement, gave me another soft kiss and fell into oblivion, with me falling gently behind him.

* * *

_**"Close your brown eyes and lay down next to me**_  
_** Close your eyes, lay down, Cause there goes the fear**_  
**_ Let it go"  
_There Goes The Fear - Doves**


	20. I Watched You Taking Off

**(EPOV)**

I sighed and rolled over onto my back. This was not working. I had managed to finally go to sleep when Bella walked in an hour and a half ago, after I had been tossing and turning and punching my pillow, wishing it could have been my face. I didn't know why my idiocy decided to take me over and allow me to offend Bella _the night before she leaves._ I mean, come on, nice timing. I had known she was no where near happy to be leaving, but, I don't know, the fact that she could manage to keep herself so calm during this whole ordeal was…irritating. Irritating because I was being more emotional than she was and, though this might sound sexist, I always thought that was kind of the girls job. But tonight, in that one sentence she said right before we fell asleep, I knew she was missing me as much as I was missing her. I sighed in agitation again.

Bella lifted her head up slightly. "I know not being able to sleep sucks, but there's no reason to wake the whole house with your constant suspiring." She said in a teasing tone. I hastily apologized, slightly embarrassed. I saw her silhouette shake it's head. "It's fine, I was awake anyways." She admitted as she arranged herself so that her head was laying on my stomach, looking up at me. I ran my fingers through her long, soft hair while I tried not to think about what it would feel like if her head went just a little lower…

Shit, I was sick.

I was praying she would just keep looking at me and not turn her head the other way when I noticed the silence was slightly awkward. "Why can't you sleep?" I inquired, searching for a subject. She scoffed and I realized this was kind of a stupid question. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone is dreading tomorrow." I said quietly, to which she nodded her head. My hand wound it's way through her silky hair absentmindedly while I was lost in thought. "Did Carlisle ever find out where you're going?"

"Yeah, Mercer Island. Nearly four hours away from here." She informed me bitterly. My eyes widened. I hadn't really realized just how far away we were from King County. I let out a large sigh and felt deflated. It was seeming more and more of an impossible situation. Bella moved again so that she was lying right beside me, her head on my shoulder, her body facing mine. I rolled onto my side so I was facing her and looked at her with a slightly quizzical look. "I just want to be close to you while I still can be." She said simply, sadly. Her eyes moved over my face, like she was trying to memorize it. "I don't know what it is about you. Never in my life have I been closer to somebody than you are to me." She whispered the words, still copying my face to her memory.

"Don't you worry, I'll be driving in a few months, and you can bet I'll be over there just about every weekend. Then when you're finally back here with us, hell, I'll probably have you holed up here for a week just to catch up with you, and we can get into another fight over why you need to read _Harry Potter_, and debate over how I just don't like Paramore, then you can hit me over the head and call me a sexist 'll be just like you never left." I said with a soft smile, thinking about how I already just couldn't wait for those days, she chuckled faintly and relaxed a little bit more. I glanced over at the clock and saw with astonishment that is was already half past four. She had followed my gaze to see what I was staring at. "You should probably go back to bed, you've got school tomorrow." She reminded me softly. What was it about the dark that just automatically made people speak in soft tones?

"Ha, yeah, I think I'm shit out of luck in the sleep department." It hadn't slipped past me that she had only said _I_ needed to get some sleep, she knew she wasn't going to be able to get a wink of rest, as did I. As we laid there in the silence, I realized my iHome had turned off, and reached over to turn it back on, gently surrounding us in the sounds of The Temper Trap. We were both humming along to it quietly, but when the time came we both quietly sang the line "We won't stop till it's over, won't stop to surrender."

We spent the next couple of hours listening to calming music, mostly of the encouraging kind. We were wrapped up in the music, hardly talking to each other, though one of us would often sing a single line out loud. Bella was right, this was how I wanted to spend my last few moments with her, happy, facing each other on my bed, listening to the gentle music escape through the speakers. This was a hundred times better then spending the final hours sad and dismal, talking about how much everybody would miss everybody.

The sunrises brilliant colors showed through the few clouds there were. Today looked like it would be pretty clear, a rarity for Forks, especially in early March. I took it as a good omen, starting this whole ordeal out on a sunny day had to be a good sign. We climbed out of the bed and sat in front of the window-wall, staring out at the sunrise. "Do you know how long it's been since I've seen a sunrise?" Bella asked, looking at the magnificent reds and deep oranges. I knew what she meant, the constant overhang of clouds that came with the Olympic Peninsula usually hid the sun from dawn till dusk. At around a quarter past six we both decided we should probably split up and get ready, because, though we didn't really do anything, it'd be awkward if mom or dad walked in and we were…Well, kind of laying on top of each other.

Yeah, that awkwardness scores on up there with accidentally brushing some random ladies breast while trying to push a button on the elevator. That's extreme discomfort right there.

Bella quietly snuck back down the hall way and shut her door with a soft 'click'. I wondered what she was thinking, wondered just what she was saying in her head to keep herself under control. I figured she was probably just doing what I was doing; enjoying the moment. Forgetting the past, not fearing the future, just thinking in the now. If we kept thinking like that, this whole thing might pass before we realize what's happened.

I had been so lost in my thoughts I didn't realize I was in the shower until I was turning it off and stepping out to dry. I didn't know how I was going to get through the day, I really hadn't slept much since Friday night. How I would stay awake during something like American History today was beyond me. I was already seeing that period as nap time.

I brushed my teeth before throwing on a pair of boxers and some jeans. As I was searching my dresser for some kind of shirt to wear, I came upon something black in the top drawer, under some clothes. It was the black piano wire bracelet that Bella had gotten me for Christmas. I had completely forgotten about it, for some reason, I had never put it on. I guess in all of the excitement of Christmas day, it just slipped my mind and, well, you know what they say. Out of sight, out of mind.

I slipped it onto my wrist and threw on my Arcade Fire T-shirt, there was a small stain right above the organ, but you couldn't really see it unless you were looking too close. I threw all of my homework and school books into my back pack, put both my iPod and phone in my pocket, and was headed downstairs for some breakfast by seven.

Much like the day that Alice and Rose left, the table was full of food. I'm talking pancakes, bacon, biscuits, the whole shebang. It was like stepping into a breakfast buffet instead of my own kitchen. Esme must have been cooking down here for at least an hour and a half. I grabbed a muffin and sat at the table. "Morning, honey, sleep good?" Esme asked as she finished cleaning the mess from the counters and sat opposite of me. I just shrugged in response and she gave me an understanding look. Jasper and Emmett walked in at that time.

Jazz was wearing a look I hadn't seen on him in a while. He looked worn and…I don't know, _haunted_, I guess. It was a look I hadn't seen in a while. I had faint memories from when I was younger, between the ages of five and eight, of this being a constant look of Jaspers'. I think the last time I saw this drained Jasper was when I was thirteen, the morning after the car crash that caused Rose's panic attack. It was the look he got when he had nightmares of his past, of that one year he spent in limbo between his biological father, us, and foster homes. None of us really knew all of the details about what happened to Jasper and Rosalie while they were with Gunther, but it had obviously had a big enough impact to effect them for years. They had both gone to therapy once a week until last year, that was eight years of therapy for what probably equaled five or six months of trauma. _Damn._

Jasper grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down beside Emmett. "Bella up yet?" Emmett asked, and Jasper tried to hide the bit of concern that flashed across his face at the mention of her name.

"I think so, I heard her blow dryer as I walked past her room earlier. She'll probably be down here-"

"Now." She cut me off with a quick smile as she made her entrance. "Sorry I took so long, I was doing some last second packing." She explained as she grabbed a plate, being the first one to start filling it. Everyone soon followed, and Carlisle joined us right before we had the chance to tuck in. It was a very subdued breakfast, it wasn't sad, or anxious, just quiet, the silence only being broken by the scrape of a fork here or a small cough there. I saw Bella eyeing the bracelet on my wrist with a small smile, and I felt kind of bad. Had she thought I didn't like the present? I'd make sure to clear that up before she left.

We were all done eating within half an hour and I went up with Bella to grab her luggage. As we were walking up there, she looked over at my wrist again. "I really do like it, I had just kind of forgotten about it. I had put it in my top drawer and clothes kind of…fell on top of it." I explained, feeling more and more awkward as I kept rambling. She had an amused smirk on her face.

"I'm sure, Edward." She teased, winking at me. When we got to her room we grabbed the luggage and headed right back out. It wasn't much, really. She had gotten rid of her old small suitcase and ratty duffle bag and had settled for one that was somewhere between midsized and large, consolidating all of her things into that. I carried the suitcase while she grabbed her guitar case and messenger bag and we trudged down the stairs. It was strange to think that I was carrying just about every item that Bella owned, that all of her worldly possessions fit into one suitcase. I could probably only fit a fourth of my closet in here.

We set the stuff by the stairs and walked back into the kitchen, where everyone was just kind of lingering about. No one was really sure of what to do, we couldn't really say goodbye yet, because we still had about fifteen minutes until that Harks woman was supposed to get here, but what _does_ one do while waiting to say goodbye to someone for a pretty good while? At ten till eight, our elaborate door bell went off and I just wanted to scream, _Really?_ Not only was she taking her away from us, but she was doing so early?

In my minds eye, a meteor fell from the sky and destroyed her on the spot. I smiled slightly. Carlisle went off to answer the door and Esme immediately swooped in on Bella, giving her a hug worthy of Emmett, while a few tears glided down her face. I could see the Harks woman in the Living Room, looking on at the embrace with an eyebrow raised, silently asking 'Can we go now?'. As soon as Esme managed to pry herself off, Emmett was picking her up in one of his classic hugs, swaying slightly from side to side. "Be safe, buddy." Was all he said as he put her back down.

Even Jasper went up and gave her a hug, which is something I'm pretty sure he's never attempted with her before, "Just look to the future, mate." He advised as he pulled away and took one last look at her with his sad, slightly disturbed eyes. She responded with a simple, but thoughtful, "Right".

Carlisle looked worn, and tired as he squeezed Bella in one of his comforting, paternal hugs. No words, just a sad sigh escaped his mouth. Once she was out of Carlisle's arms she immediately dove towards me. My arms wrapped around her shoulders, and hers around my upper waist, her wet cheek rested against my chest just as it had this morning, she had a continuous stream of tears leaking from her eyes. I pulled her tighter. "In no time you're gonna be right back here, laughing at how corny we all sounded today." She let out a small gasp of a laugh. "But until then, if you have any trouble, I want you to call or text us, you hear? If these people are shit, you let us know, and I can guarantee Carlisle will do everything he can to put you somewhere else." I swallowed, knowing by the death glares I was getting from Harks that this was just about over. "I miss you." I whispered in her ear before letting go of her. She whispered the sentiment back before Harks walked in on the moment and said in her manly voice that they really, really had to go. Tight time frame and such things. We all glared at her with as much venom as we could muster, but she didn't even blink. I wondered briefly about the condition of this woman's soul, but dismissed by answering my question with another question 'What soul?'.

Carlisle grabbed her suitcase, much like he had when Bella first arrived here, and walked out the front door with her guitar-laden self. We walked to the front door, like every cheesy farewell you ever seen in a movie, and watched as she climbed in the car and drove off, out of sight, out of town, out of safety. Away from her family and happiness. From all of her friends and loved ones. Out of reach of the stupid, immature fifteen year old boy who had made it his mission to make her laugh as much as possible. The idiotic kid that thought he might just could save her from the demons that had pulled her back in.

* * *

_**"Somewhere down the road **__**I'll see you again**_  
_** I don't know when**__** and I know you'll be the same**_  
_** And I know I'll be the same**__**, Unchanged"  
**__Somewhere Down The Road - Feist_

**AN: There we go, the leave I've been building up to for, what? Four chapters now? Yeah, you'll understand why Edward wasn't _extremely_ broken up in the next chapter, probably. I'm out of town for I-Don't-Know-How-Long, so I'd probably expect a good week and a half to two weeks before the next update. No internet. Yeah, sorry it's short, but, ya know, I suck. -shrugs- Review, yeah? You know you're just aching to say something.**


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